We pick over the remains of this week's round of the Carling Cup, while Sid Lowe - as opposed to Monday's imposter - is back on the phone from Spain to talk about the Ballon d'Or.
Simon Burnton cries salty tears as we mourn the passing of Paul the psychic octopus.
Michael Cox from zonalmarking.net gives his take on the upcoming weekend's fixtures in the Premier League.
Barry Glendenning looks forward to Sunderland's emphatic victory over relegation fodder Newcastle in this weekend's Tyne-Wear derby.
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You can also watch James Richardson's continental paper review with extra scandal, outrage and allegations.
