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With Jimbo away, it's left to Dave Farrar to hold the Football Weekly fort, and he's joined by Barry Glendenning, Simon Burnton and Paul MacInnes to make things sound not too wildly unfamiliar, dear listener.
We start with the FA Cup and Arsenal's humiliation by Blackburn Rovers. That's all three domestic trophies out of Arsène Wenger's hands – but it's OK, because Bayern Munich are visiting the Emirates on Tuesday in the Champions League and they've only won their last five games in the Bundesliga by an aggregate score of 13-0. Rafa Honigstein tries to stifle his giggles.
Next, we hear from Sid Lowe about Barcelona's prospects against Milan, before we get bang up to speed with all the action in the Europa League – which, admit it, you'd already forgotten about, but is actually quite nicely poised for the second legs this week.
Finally, we wonder if Belinda Carlisle was right: is heaven a place on earth, or just a nightclub by Charing Cross station? Your answers on a postcard, please. (And tell you what, there are a lot of funny and rude place names out there.
