The Mill never thought it would come to this. But thank heavens the football’s over, bring on the rumours. With the lamentable Euro 2016 finally out of the way, bring on the good stuff, the scurrilous whispers about Mario Götze, the titillating whispers about Leon Osman, the tall tales about Paul Pogba.
And where else to start but than with Pogba? Despite being outshone in last night’s travesty of a final by Moussa Effin’ Sissoko, who won a lot for praise for ultimately offering little more than lots of buccaneering runs down blind alleys, Pogba nonetheless remains a £100m target for Manchester United. More money than sense? Perish the thought.
Another France midfielder who could be on the move is Leicester City’s N’Golo Kanté, the new Thomas Gravesen, who will spend one season at Real Madrid before going to play in Russia.
Tottenham Hotspur like the look of Bayern Munich’s Götze. But Üter from The Simpsons fancies rejoining Borussia Dortmund, where life was so much more fun. At least Tottenham look like being successful in their bid for Newcastle United’s Gini Wijnaldum, though, with the midfielder set to beg and plead for the right to leave Big Friendly Mike’s Workshop of Fun.
Christian Benteke is on the verge of joining Crystal Palace from Liverpool. Alan Pardew will be cutting all sorts of shapes soon enough.
Chelsea want Kalidou Koulibaly but fear that pesky Everton are going to drive up the £38m asking price for the Napoli defender, just because they can do that now. Look at them! With all that money! They’re a big club now. Chelsea will console themselves by signing Lazio’s Felipe Anderson.
Arsenal have decided that Juventus can’t have Alexis Sánchez, even though the Italians asked very politely. But Southampton can have Bayern’s young Danish midfielder, Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg, who’s available for a princely £12m.
Meanwhile, 2013’s Álvaro Negredo is heading to Middlesbrough on a free transfer.
And finally, what better way to start your week than by learning that Sam Allardyce is going to be interviewed for the England job? It’s probably time to stop international football, isn’t it?
