Smell that? You smell that? Rumours, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. The Mill loves the smell of napalm in the morning.
It’s particularly whiffy around Old Trafford the noo, where Ole Gunnar Solskjær is planning to address the mess he inherited from The Artist Formerly Known As The Special One. At least five players are set to leave the club, while potential signings include Raphaël Varane – available for just £429m, or three easy instalments of £143m – Jadon Sancho, Callum Hudson-Odoi and a DeLorean that can take them back to 1999 and make all this go away.
United are also keen to beat Manchester City to the signature of Atlético Madrid midfielder Saúl Ñíguez, just as they did so triumphantly with Fred last summer. If Pep Guardiola can’t do his David Brent dance in the face of Saúl, he’ll make an offer for another Atlético midfielder, Rodri Hernández.
David de Gea is still wanted by absolutely everybody, but specifically Juventus, Paris Saint-Germain and Real Madrid. Zinedine Zidane may offer Thibaut Courtois and/or Gareth Bale in part-exchange for De Gea. Or he might not!
Spurs are keen to welcome Fulham’s teenage star Ryan Sessegnon into their spangly new home, while Celta Vigo’s 16-year-old midfielder Yago de Santiago is also on their wanted list.
Arsenal have a private detective monitoring every move made by Bournemouth assist-fiend Ryan Fraser. Unai Emery is also interested in Genk’s Leandro Trossard and Boca Juniors’ Cristian Pavón.
Wolves will complete the permanent signing of Raúl Jiménez from Benfica in the next couple of days. Colchester youngster Noah Chilvers is wanted by West Ham and Leicester, while the Hammers also want a piece of Fulham’s Aleksandar Mitrovic, ideally the head and both feet.
