Though the intrusion of “philosophy” into football is a relatively modern phenomenon, there is a single abstract concept that underpins both the game, and life itself: “The Tottenham Way”. Its existential nuances and intricacies have baffled even the most lucid of Kantians, but at its root lies the ability to believe in the unbelievable and the non-existent.
Mauricio Pochettino is showing himself to be an appropriate custodian of the tradition; this December, he would like to sign Southampton’s Morgan Schneiderlin and Jay Rodriguez, and also Raúl Albiol of Napoli. Southampton and Napoli lie fourth in their respective leagues; Tottenham are 10th.
But that is not all. Pochettino also likes the look of the Celtic centre-back Virgil van Dijk, a man he feels will fit the club’s epic credo. In the summer, Spurs’ £8m bid for the “Dutch-man,” was rejected, so now, Paul Mitchell, their new head of R&A – that’s recruitment and analysis, stupid – is keen to return with an improved offer.
In order to finance this, Pochettino will be given £20m, plus that which can be generated from the sales of players he does not want because he does not think they are any use: Emmanuel Adebayor, Jan Vertonghen, Aaron Lennon and Mousa Dembélé. Lord Sugar’s search for his business partner … goes on.
Also in London, Harry Redknapp would like to use the January transfer window to bring in a raft of mainly unspecified Major League Soccer players – in the most unwheeler-undealer method imaginable, of course. The MLS does not reconvene until March, so its players often visit Europe to maintain their sharpness, and Redknapp has mentioned a particular interest in Robbie Keane - who, should the move eventuate, will be fingered as having supported the club since childhood by wags; many.
Elsewhere, Leicester City have offered £7m for the HNK Rijeka striker, Andrej Kramaric, who remains strangely uncompelled by the prospect of playing for charmaholic Nigel Pearson and his bottom of the league cavaliers. And, should the player fancy the respective thrills of either interminable loan moves, or moral superiority, existential actualisation and preordained failure, there is also reputed interest from Chelsea and Spurs to consider.
Further north, Gus Poyet, the Sunderland coach, would like to sign Fabio Borini from Liverpool. Borini joined the football club in 2012, at the pleasure of its teacher Brendan Rodgers - and on the august advice of his international team-mate, Dr Mario Balotelli. Costing £10.5m, he has contributed 13 starts and two goals, most recently omitted from this weekend’s game between the clubs despite injuries to Balotelli and Daniel Sturridge - a decision Rodgers refused to explain. All agreed that this was deeply gnomic, that life isn’t fair, and that it was their own time they were wasting.
Talking of Rodgers, rumours abound that should things at Anfield fail to improve, he will be replaced in his job by André Villas-Boas – who was sacked by Spurs just 11 months ago, after his Tottenham side were hammered by Rodgers’ Liverpool. But there remain reservations about the move, most particularly as regards the ability of the cosmos to absorb the narrative fall-out.
And finally for today, Arsenal and Manchester United are battling for the signature of Ethan Ampadu, Exeter City’s young star. Ampadu is 14 years old.
