Brring, brring. Brring, brring.
“Hello?”
“Hello. Is that Robin van Persie’s representatives?”
“Yes, it is. With whom are we speaking?”
“Ah, this is 19-times Super Lig champions Fenerbahce.”
“And what can we do for you Fenerbahce?”
“Well, we were just wondering: would Robin perhaps fancy January move to Istanbul? It’s pretty warm down here at that time of year. And he could play alongside Moussa Sow, Pierre Webó and Dirk Ku…”
“Can we just stop you there Fenerbahce. It doesn’t really sound like one for us I’m afraid.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Quite sure, thank you very much. Quite sure.”
“Ah well. If you don’t ask you don’t get. Good day Robin van Persie’s representatives.”
“Good day Fenerbahce.”
Click.
But still, according to reports in Turkey, according to the Daily Star, Fener have indeed been making inquiries about Manchester United’s misifiring Dutchman. January is a no-go, but watch this space …
Elsewhere Manchester City and Bayern Munich are set to strip to the waist, grease themselves up and go mano a mano over Dortmund’s Marco Reus. Again, there’ll be nothing happening in January, but both clubs are apparently willing to trigger Reus’s €25m release clause in the summertime, when the weather is hot, and you can stretch right up and touch the sky, when the weather’s fine, you got diminutive attacking schemers, you got diminutive attacking schemers on your mind.
Internazionale want Fabio Borini, but they’re unlikely to stump up the £14m required to prise him from Liverpool. They may be forced to wear a big coat while visiting Anfield, stuff him in an inside pocket when no one’s looking and then walk out casual like. One striker who won’t be at Anfield in January is Divock Origi – the man on loan at Lille is to remain on loan at Lille until the end of the season, according to his manager René Girard.
Paul Lambert has two games to save his job – defeats at West Ham and at home to Southampton could spell T.H.E.E.N.D. for the Aston Villa manager. And in other managerial news David Moyes wants Phil Neville as his No2 if he takes over at Real Socieded.
And the gaping holes in Manchester United’s backline will be addressed not a jot when the club triggers the £24m release clause of the Benfica midfielder Enzo Pérez in January.
