As fans of the Harry Potter series will know, a bezoar is a solid mass found in the gastrointestinal tract of goats that is believed to have poison-curing properties and in JK Rowling’s books is used by the eponymous wizard to save Ron Weasley from some very nasty mead.
Soon we will discover if Arsène Wenger, a bespectacled professor of near-Dumbledorian age and wisdom, plans to use one to cure his poisoned midfield. The Ajax head coach, Peter Bosz, has kicked off something of a footballing whodoingit by revealing that Riechedly Bazoer is about to announce a move to somewhere, but refusing to say precisely where. “Riechedly reported that his transfer is in the final phase,” said Bosz. “He has a view to a new club, which is why we gave him freedom from training. We shook hands and parted in a good way.” Eagle-eyed Mill readers will remember Bazoer from various April tittle-tattle linking him with moves to Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United and Tottenham – just a Liverpool short of a full house – though it is Wenger whose interest has apparently been most sustained, making north London his most likely destination.
But the Dutch international midfielder should be warned that life at Arsenal isn’t always easy. Wenger’s claim last week that the club “have started talking to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain” about a new contract has left the player feeling “frustrated and bemused”, according to the Mirror, on the basis that no talks have taken place, and that he’s far from sure he wants a new contract anyway, given the fact that when he plays he’s nearly always either a substitute or substituted (just three of 21 appearances this season in all competitions have lasted 90 minutes). He’s got 18 months left on his current deal, after which he may well be tempted to flounce out of the Emirates for good and proper.
Edinson Cavani is very much of the same mind, and though the striker’s contract at Paris Saint-Germain doesn’t end until 2018 he is reportedly stalling on a new one, amid rumours that Manchester United will come a-knockin’ come the summer.
But the Uruguayan international forward should be warned that life at United isn’t always easy. In the Sun, a source laments that José Mourinho “has effectively cancelled Chrimbo” by scheduling an afternoon training session on the big day, instead of following Manchester United tradition by letting his players train in the morning before going home to spend the rest of the day wearing embarrassing jumpers and paper party hats and putting on their best fake smile like the rest of us.
Mark Hughes has dropped a subtle hint that Stoke would like to complete a permanent deal for on-loan Porto defender Bruno Martins Indi. “If we can, yes. He wants to do well in the Premier League and we want that to be with us.” In rumourmongering, as in football itself Hughes, it seems, is all about the end result and not so keen on nuance.
Everton have sent scouts to watch CSKA Moscow’s Alan Dzagoev, and could be tempted to splash £15m on the 26-year-old in January as Ronald Koeman looks to make Ross Barkley feel even more peripheral and unwelcome. West Brom are going to hand Tony Pulis an enormous January warchest and tell him to make his team – inasmuch as the idea is even feasible – better than they already are, and the resulting spree is going to see the Baggies bid for Manchester City’s Fabian Delph and Bournemouth’s Benik Afobe.
Sunderland and Nottingham Forest have both got designs on 17-year-old St Mirren winger Kyle McAllister, who has also been scouted by Leicester and Aston Villa as well as a variety of Scottish sides. And Reading would like to sign Jordon Mutch from Crystal Palace.
