Raheem Sterling, who is surely only days away from being unmasked as the ruthless mastermind behind a shadowy empire of tearaway footballers, could be on his way to Manchester City. The champions – come on, we may as well call them that while we still can – are planning to test Liverpool’s resolve with a £30m bid for the 20-year-old as soon as the transfer window opens.
This is gearing up to be one of the all-time great sagas, given added spice by the rumblings about Liverpool’s interest in Theo Walcott. But is Walcott about to begin contract talks with Arsenal? Possibly. And are Arsenal after James Milner? Possibly.
In less troubling news for Liverpool, Sampdoria want Mario Balotelli, while Brendan Rodgers has also identified a new goalkeeper: Sporting Lisbon’s Rui Patrício. Farewell, Simon Mignolet.
In randomly-related Liverpool news, Raul Meireles would like to return to England. The Fenerbahce midfielder is a target for Everton and West Ham.
Manchester United reckon they are going to sign Sami Khedira on a free transfer from Real Madrid. They’re going to win the league next season, aren’t they? It’s happening. Marouane Fellaini is the new Eric Cantona. Looking for Marouane is going to be a great film in 2035.
However, it turns out that absence does not make the heart grow fonder in the case of Javier Hernández. United will fling the Little Pea at Southampton when he returns from his loan spell at Real, in the hope it will land them Nathaniel Clyne.
Tottenham Hotspur are going to do what they do best and sabotage a potential West Ham signing. They’re going to make their move for the FC Basel defender Fabian Schar, and then point and laugh at West Ham while shouting: “We got Schar, ha, ha, ha”.
Catchy.
Tottenham also want 1860 Munich’s Julian Weigl. But will they get the midfielder? We are all on tenterhooks.
Chelsea are going to sign the Brazil youngster Nathan, the heir to Bernard, for £4.5m.
And finally, more from our long-running series, Managers Who Want To Make Loan Signings Permanent In The Summer. Tim Sherwood wants Tom Cleverley to stay at Aston Villa for ever and ever, while Mark Hughes wants the same for Victor Moses at Stoke. It really is a great series.
