The Mill was going to present all of Friday’s gossip in handy bullet points but then we realised that would enable you to get down to work more quickly, so wouldn’t really be handy at all. So let’s limber up a bit.
See the latest episode of that popular TV series last night? Good, wasn’t it? Can’t wait for the next one. And the weather’s been nice lately too, hasn’t it? Lovely bit of sun. Or rain. Or wind. You know what we mean.
OK, we can’t put this off any longer. Here goes: Manchester United are about to stomp down to north London and rip out Tottenham Hotspur’s heart and soul, leaving nothing but a pile of cash in the place where Harry Kane used to be. And the Red Devils will also dispossess Hoffenheim of the Brazilian striker Roberto Firmino and then rampage on to Iberia, where they will tear Jackson Martínez away from Porto before blagging Karim Benzema from Real Madrid. That seems rather a lot of strikers to be plundering, so either the media have made some of those stories up or Louis van Gaal is adopting a cavalier no-goalkeeper formation by ploughing all of the imminent windfall from David de Gea’s sale to Real Madrid into forwards.
You could accuse Liverpool of being cavalier by pursuing Radamel Falcao in the wake of their misjudged gambles last summer but they’re doing it, all the same. Unless the media are making up even more stories.
Manchester City are still on the trail of Paul Pogba and Kevin De Bruyne. Micah Richards is no longer part of City’s plan – you knew that bit – but Tim Sherwood wants to make him central to Aston Villa’s defence. Villa will have issues to address at the other end, though, if Tottenham replace Kane with Christian Benteke. Maybe that is why Sherwood is courting Charlie Austin but Newcastle’s Steve McClaren is eyeing up the Queens Park Rangers striker too. He is also thinking of inviting Andy Carroll back to his place. St James’s Park, that is. Saido Berahino could be asked to come along, too.
West Ham are trying to convince Alex Song that West Ham is the best place for him, and they are also after Marseille schemer Dimitri Payet. There’s also talk of West Ham wooing Yohan Cabaye, who has confirmed his desire to leave Paris Saint-Germain in order to get more games before Euro 2016. A reunion with Alan Pardew at Crystal Palace has been mooted but Liverpool reckon he should aim higher. Like at Arsenal, maybe.
Ravel Morrison, currently enduring an unhappy time at Lazio, wants to move to QPR for kicks. Roma want to sign the promising young centre-back Antonio Rüdiger from Stuttgart.
Finally, let us end with a happy, hopeful tale. Arsène Wenger and Arsenal have not lost faith in poor Abou Diaby, who left the Emirates this week after many injury-plagued years. The 29-year-old could be offered a pay-as-you-play deal.
