Jürgen Klopp is feeling the pain. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang was never supposed to be this good. The Borussia Dortmund striker has plundered 19 goals in 16 appearances this season. You see, having brought the rough and ready striker to Signal Iduna Park in 2013 Klopp had to do some serious polishing, ridding him of those annoying habits and obliterating the rust to help make him the best Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang he could possibly be. But Klopp never really got to feel the benefit of all that hard work. Thomas Tuchel waltzed into Klopp’s old home, switched Aubameyang on and just watched him go. Meanwhile, having spent the past month and a half looking for the ‘on’ button on Divock Origi, Klopp has come to the conclusion he’s not got one. Perhaps he’s solar powered.
Anyway, despite interest in the Dortmund striker from Arsenal and Barcelona, Liverpool are hopeful the relationship with the man who made him the player he is will convince him to spread the love at Anfield. In the form of goals. Lots of them. Dortmund will only let him leave if someone stumps up £42m, though, so they can give Marco Reus a pay rise and convince him that Munich’s not all it’s cracked up to be and lacks the industrial charm of North Rhine-Westphalia.
Over at Old Trafford, Víctor Valdés is set to do one to Espanyol. Marouane Fellaini may join him in the rush for the exit door if he listens to advice from Belgium’s manager, Marc Wilmots. “A player who does not play for his club is annoying for a coach,” growled Wilmots. “Fellaini could play to support the attack, as the No6. He has very good technique, very good ability to track back and recover. Maybe he will try to find a new challenge in January, if it is possible.” That new challenge could be in Turin, where Juventus have been monitoring the big man’s supreme chesting ability for some time.
José Mourinho has decided that Neymar is just the man to help Chelsea stave off the threat of relegation. They’ll throw ridiculous sums of money at Barcelona in the hope that the flighty forward’s head will be turned. It won’t. Manchester City would quite like a piece of the Brazilian too. If he follows the Robinho career path he could wind up at Guangzhou Evergrande whose badge is emblazoned with the motto ‘Be The Best Forever’. What more motivation could he want?
A more likely target for Chelsea is Alex Teixera, the Shakhtar Donetsk attacking midfielder who could be the new Eden Hazard if the old Eden Hazard continues to suffer from ability amnesia. He’ll cost Chelsea beancounters £30m, which seems a bit steep for a player who is 25 and yet to feature for the Brazil national team. But the market is the market.
Everton are concerned that Barcelona might enact a £6.3m buy-back clause on Gerard Deulofeu and take him back to Camp Nou in the summer where he’ll be stored on a dusty shelf for a few seasons before returning to Goodison Park on loan in 2017.
Arsène Wenger wants to sign a central defender who doesn’t have a turning circle equivalent to that of the Airbus A380. That man is Armando Izzo, the 23-year-old whose career started slowly but has picked up since a move to Genoa in 2014. Arsenal will have to battle Benfica for the player’s signature, though.
Charlie Austin will monitor Bournemouth, Newcastle, Aston Villa and West Brom and decide to move to whichever club looks least likely to get relegated, with the likelihood being that he’ll fill the Saido Berahino-shaped hole at West Brom when the bolshy striker finally gets his wish and sods off to Spurs.
And Leicester City have given a trial to Barwell midfielder Brady Hickey, the ‘non-league Frank Lampard’, whatever that means. The village team impressed in the FA Cup and Claudio Ranieri has decided to have a look at the 18-year-old Tintin lookalike.
