Dilly ding! Dilly dong! The transfer window has officially opened but there is one tiny problem: the biggest deal of the summer has already been completed. That’s not part of the script. The window is supposed to start slowly and build to a crescendo, climaxing an hour before the deadline on 31 August with the move of John-Joe O’Toole from Northampton to Hartlepool. Still, what can you do when self-titled legend and king Zlatan Ibrahimovic has ignored the memo and decided he wants to announce on Instagram that he is off to Manchester United instead. Yet, contrarily, for once Sky sources continue to say the move is not yet done.
It is, so let’s just pick up the dregs of what remains. The Liverpool and Belgium benchwarmer Christian Benteke quite fancies playing regularly again and may be tempted by a move to Crystal Palace. Alan Pardew has already convinced Andros Townsend, who should count himself lucky he was cut from Roy Hodgson’s England squad before they went to France, to move to south London and the manager is keen to add significantly to his squad with a supposed war chest from the club’s US investors. Dwight Gayle may go in the opposite direction, swapping Selhurst Park for St James’.
Staying on Tyneside, Moussa Sissoko has caught the eye of Jürgen Klopp but Newcastle will hold out for around £12m for the France midfielder.
West Ham are happy to let second-choice goalkeeper Darren Randolph move to a club where he will be first choice after impressing for Republic of Ireland at Euro 2016 but would quite like a fee of around £3m. The Hammers are not as willing to let Dimitri Payet go to Real Madrid and even less willing for punditry star Slaven Bilic to discuss the England job with the Football Association – not that the Croat would be lured into a hiding for nothing anyway. “I think Slaven would make a terrible England manager and I’m sure every west Ham fan would agree with me,” the co-chairman, David Gold, tweeted.
Diego Costa does not fancy playing for master motivator Antonio Conte at Chelsea and may be tempted back to Atlético Madrid, who are desperately hoping Antoine Griezmann does not command any more attention at the Euros.
The champions, Leicester City, will head back to Burnley with one more offer for the defender Michael Keane after bids of £10m and £12m were rejected, while they also maintain an interest in Norwich’s Robbie Brady.
Back to Old Trafford for a moment and a Manchester United social media boffin made the boo-boo of putting Henrikh Mkhitaryan shirts on sale, all but confirming the Armenian’s move from Borussia Dortmund. But there is still no sign of the Jorge Mendes influx predicted when Mourinho got the job – Mkhitaryan, Ibrahimovic and potential returnee Paul Pogba are all advised by Mino Raiola.
