Queens Park Rangers are up for the banter. They have had their fill of Harry Redknapp’s half-baked fahkin-football-manager schtick, the realisation slowly dawning on them that the man with more relegations to his name (two) than major trophies (one) might not be all he cracks himself up to be. The former almost-but-not-quite-oh-well-at-least-you-didn’t-invest-too-much-energy-into-preparing-for-your-big-moment England boss is on the precipice at Loftus Road and the bosses at QPR have decided that the only way to hoist the side off the bottom of the table is a change of manager. Step forward, Tim Sherwood. Choose gilets. Choose banter. Choose life. Choose Sherwood.
Meanwhile the FA has a replacement for Roy Hodgson in mind. Step forward … Harry Redknapp! Not really, Harry. Sorry.
OK, OK, time to be serious. Business faces on, people. This is important. The FA has a replacement in mind for Roy Hodgson and that man is none other than Gareth Southgate after he guided England Under-21s to next European Championship. On that basis, though, Stuart Pearce should be in the running. Apologies if the thought of that happening has ruined your day already.
More managerial news now. Pep Guardiola would like to manage Manchester United one day. Cool. It must be nice to have those problems.
Even more managerial news now. Monaco have not given up hope of luring Arsène Wenger away from Arsenal. But let’s face it, Wenger is never leaving Arsenal, at least not until everyone in the world is a dainty creative midfielder. He can make that happen, you know. Soon we will all be dainty creative midfielders and then nothing will ever get done. But everything will look really pretty.
That joke would work better if it was a) funny and b) not written on a day when Arsenal are being linked with a £32m move for a defender: namely Borussia Dortmund’s Mats Hummels. But the Mill reckons that we can ignore that story on the grounds that it is being reported elsewhere that Wenger will be given a transfer budget of only £20m in January. Something doesn’t add up, people.
Chelsea are going to sign Sami Khedira from Real Madrid in January. Is there anything funny to say about that? Probably, but it’s early.
Brendan Rodgers must have been one of those kids who would nag and nag and nag and nag and nag and nag and nag his parents to let him open his birthday presents early and then he’d be really disappointed on his birthday because that is the only conclusion that can be drawn from news he wants Lille to let Liverpool have Divock Origi in January rather than next summer. Yes, Fabio Borini really is that disappointing.
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