You might have thought that Raphaël Varane was celebrating a goal last night when he headed the ball into the net seven minutes from the end of France’s friendly against Sweden but apparently there was a different reason for his joy. You see, what’s really getting the 21-year-old excited these days are the mounting rumours that Chelsea see him as the ideal long-term replacement for John Terry and the London club are prepared to go to war next summer to prise the Frenchman from Real Madrid. And by “go to war” we mean, of course, dispatch men in suits to meet other men in suits with a view to haggling (POW!), reaching agreement (BAM!), framing the accord in legalese (ONOMATOPOEIC WORD EVOKING THRILLING FIGHT ACTION!) and putting pen to paper (HI-YAH!).
There was a time when Manchester United also wanted Varane but have now accepted the move is never going to happen, yet they seem oddly unable to accept the same conclusion with regard to Mats Hummels, at whom they are still blowing kisses even though the door has been shut in their faces and bolted. So United are set to remain with a rickety defence for the foreseeable future, which means they’re in no position to sell David de Gea to Real Madrid, who will instead turn their attention to Hugo Lloris.
Staying at the back, like mischievous schoolboys, Manchester City intend beating Arsenal to the capture of Juventus’s Swiss defender Stephan Lichtsteiner, and are prepared to let Matija Nastasic go in the other direction or, indeed, anywhere.
Further forward, José Mourinho wants Marco Reus to come join the Chelsea monster, while Manchester United and Arsenal are pulling and tugging like Martin Keown at a corner kick as they compete for the services of Atlético Madrid’s surplus striker Alessio Cerci. While in Madrid,
Arsenal will also make a bid for Isco just, you know, to keep up appearances. Ah but that’s a jaded gag: Arsenal, we know, are no longer reluctant to fork out big sums and, indeed, Porto will soon see further evidence of that as they get ready to accept around £60m for Juan Fernando Quintero and Jackson Martínez. Meanwhile, Chelsea are preparing to nail Nemanja Matic down to a new contract and then twist the knife into Arsenal by signing Sami Khedira.
