The Mill cannot be bothered to write anything funny this morning. Its knee hurts. Its right knee hurts. Or is it the left knee? It might be the left knee. Can’t remember. Either way, it definitely hurts. Ouchy ouchy ouchy! Anyway, Harry Redknapp has left Queens Park Rangers, thoughtfully and selflessly timing his exit a day after the closure of the January transfer window, because that’s just the kind of guy he is, and now Tony Fernandes is after a new manager.
Luckily, Tim Sherwood is available, so all Fernandes needs to do now is stock up on gilets in the club shop, and then cross his fingers and pray that the man with the best ever win percentage record at Tottenham Hotspur – in case you hadn’t heard – can drag QPR away from trouble. That seems simple enough when your midfield is Karl Henry and Joey Barton. Activate Tactics Tim now! Before it’s too late!
Up the other end of the table, Manchester United are plotting their summer activity and those plucky reds are apparently in talks with Borussia Dortmund over Marco Reus. Louis van Gaal also wants Nigel de Jong to add some steel to his midfield, but he could be gazumped by one of Arsenal or Liverpool in the chase for the Porto striker, Jackson Martínez.
Liverpool, meanwhile, still hope to secure the signing of Danny Ings sooner rather than later. But what’s this? It says here that Manchester City plan to ruin the Burnley striker’s career by signing him in the summer, before sticking him on the bench and forgetting he exists.
Everton will try to sign Tom Cleverley again this summer, having been impressed with the on-loan United midfielder’s … his … his … actually, what has he done at Aston Villa? Does anyone know? To be perfectly honest, the Mill forgot he was there.
And finally, West Ham, scourge of Senegal, are, er, going to sign Senegal’s Kara Mbodj once Winston Reid does one.
