Just who does José Mourinho think he is? Coming over here, winning all those medals he’s so bashful about, taking charge of Manchester United and … wait for it … adopting a “distant, hands-off approach” to training. If work-experience’s Rui Faria is going to be left to look after proceedings on the training pitch, no wonder his side proved as useful as a blow-up dartboard at the Bridge on Sunday.
But José has had enough. After his methods were exposed, rubbished and downright poo-pooed he has reached for his conductor’s hat, waltzed into training and let out an almighty roar, “all aboard the Do One Express!”. And that means you too Wayne. In fact, there’s a seat with your name on it. You see, Mourinho – never one to throw the baby out with the bath water – wants Wayne Rooney out, so he’s done the diplomatic thing and told him he can leave. Fortunately for Wazza, Shanghai SIPG are ready and waiting, buckets of cash in tow, to reunite Rooney with Sven Goran Eriksson in China.
Sitting next to Wayne on the Do One Express will be Morgan Schneiderlin, whose stock has taken somewhat of a nose-dive. No one really knows where he is and sightings have become increasingly rare but Arsenal and Chelsea want a piece nonetheless.
The friction between Mourinho and Antonio Conte is also about the crank up a notch, what with both United and Chelsea setting their sights on Roma’s German defender Antonio Rudiger, who’ll cost a cool £35m. Chelsea are willing to send Oscar to Juventus to fund the move after falling out of favour with Conte, the former helmsman of the Old Lady no less.
Mourinho isn’t the only one feeling the heat in Manchester of course, Pep Guardiola has had the temerity to draw a couple of times in the Premier League but he has an answer to City’s woes … full-backs, thousands of ‘em. First up is Juan Bernat, he who was taken to Bayern Munich from Valencia by none other than Pep himself. Next is David Alaba, another former charge of Guardiola’s. He’ll stump up about £60m for the pair – small beer for the Citizens.
According to L’Equipe meanwhile, Neymar was all set to sign on the dotted line for Paris Saint-Germain, who had met his £170m release clause, only for one final request from the Brazilian to put the mockers on the move. In a tale uncannily similar to that of Paul Gascoigne asking for a sunbed from Irving Scholar, Neymar wanted his £40m debts settled and £22m a year. Hmmm.
Elsewhere, it sounds like Watford aren’t having the best of days and things may get worse – the cold, hard realisation that they were offered, and rejected, £37.5m for Odion Ighalo has taken hold, and now they want to play ball. The Chinese Super League looks like the best bet.
In other news, Bristol City goal machine Tammy Abraham, on loan from Chelsea, has been urged to leave his parent club by, er, Jermaine Jenas, and Peter Odemwingie has signed for Rotherham on short-term deal until January 2017, when he’ll be jumping in his car and coming to a club near you.
