The Sun have got Raheem Sterling bang to rights this morning! Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they have! Young Raheem has been hoist by his own petard all right because just 24 hours after he told Roy Hodgson that he was feeling too tired to start for England against Estonia, the wretch then SPAT in the face of every WORKING MAN and THE QUEEN and YOU by going to a party when he should have been SLEEPING! When he wasn't working! SCUM, utter SCUM! Never mind that the two things are totally unrelated for reasons that are too mind-numbingly obvious for us to go into at this hour – the Mill is, in a delicious ironic twist, a bit sleepy – or that Sterling came off the bench against Estonia to win the free-kick that led to England's winner! No! No, no, no, no! Unacceptable! TREASON! We must not stand for it!
It's never going to end, is it? This nonsense is going to carry on for ever, isn't it? There's no escape, is there. You want to have a cry as well, don't you? And it's not even gone midday.
At least we have some transfer stories to distract us. For instance, Arsenal and Manchester City are both having a look at Leicester City's young centre-back, Liam Moore. How about that? Does that take the edge off?
No? Still outraged? Still outraged.
Fine, how about Manchester United being in for Fredy Guarín? Could he be the man to resolve United's midfield woes? Frankly, who cares? The Mill is still fuming about that party.
City want Mesut Özil as a replacement for Yaya Touré. Arsenal are lining up Carlo Ancelotti as a replacement for Arsène Wenger in the summer. Juicy stuff. And yet, not interested. Too upset about Sterling, who's not even let us enjoy news that Tottenham are interested in the Toulouse goalkeeper Ali Ahamada.
Roberto Di Matteo wants to bring Fernando Torres to Schalke in January.
Anything? Does that raise a smile? No? Not even a smile. See what you've done, Raheem? You have RUINED Wednesday. Give US our WEDNESDAY back or FACE our WRATH.
