As you have probably heard, Jürgen Klopp has announced that he intends to take a complete break from football as he walks the earth for six months, possibly wandering town to town, stopping in each one for about 60 minutes including commercials, which is just long enough to save some hard-up family from a gang of thugs or foil a ruthless property developer’s plan to knock down the home of a pretty young widow. What, he’s not making a TV series? Oh, that’s a shame, an opportunity missed there.
But Klopp’s non-availability for footballing matters has probably saved at least one manager from the axe, so all those who sense it might have been them who got the chop are eager to make the most of their renewed opportunity. Brendan Rodgers, who never really gave Rickie Lambert a proper opportunity at Anfield, is keen to give headline writers the opportunity to re-tag the striker as Ricky Villa, because the former Southampton player is to be offered to Tim Sherwood’s side in part exchange for Christian Benteke.
He’ll do a fine job for someone next season that Lambert, you mark the Mill’s words. But what sort of job would Benfica’s Eduardo Salvio do for Liverpool? We could be finding out the answer to that question soon, as the winger looks set to be added to the club’s list of recent buys. ‘Buys’, as every Liverpool fans knows, has become something of a linguistic phenomenon being a four-letter word that tends to trigger a salvo of other four-letter words.
Sherwood, meanwhile, is currently trapped in the magical roundabout at Swindon, but once he navigates his way through that he will try to complete the signing of midfielders Massimo Luongo and Ben Gladwin.
Arsène Wenger was so happy with his purchase of Alexis Sánchez last season that he’s going to buy another Chilean, paying upwards of £35m for Juventus’ Arturo Vidal, though Wenger will not take the plunge until after the Copa América for fear that the player could get injured there.
Ángel Di María will go to that tournament, too, unless the injury that forced him off at Hull on Sunday turns out to be more serious that suspected. And if he does go, it is far from certain that he will be returning to Manchester, as United will have the opportunity to take a large golden suitcase full of cash instead, with Paris Saint-Germain hellbent on buying the Argentinian – mind you, throwing in right-back Gregory van der Wiel does not seem any way to sweeten the deal after the season the Dutchman has had. PSG’s Qatari owners might want to prepare another golden suitcase instead. Those owners, by the by, are also attempting to divert Xavi from his exciting project with Al Sadd and re-route him to Paris on a season-long loan.
United also like the look of Valencia’s Nicolás Otamendi and are nearing a deal for Ilkay Gundogan. There are also suggestions that Louis van Gaal wants to relieve Manchester City of Jesús Navas, whom the Mill thought was more likely to be seeking alternative employment as a courier somewhere.
Michael Laudrup would be prepared to listen to offers from Newcastle even though he is currently rapt by the fascinating project of Qatari gazillionaires Lekhwiya.
Gus Poyet and Nigel Adkins are all ears too, though they are more likely to hear from Sheffield United.
Leicester and Bournemouth want an opportunity to find out for themselves why Dwight Gayle hardly ever started for Crystal Palace.
Finally, Everton and Spurs want to show Javier Hernández some love seeing as how United do not want him back from Real Madrid.
