Back in the days when Mario Balotelli used to scored goals, he famously explained he didn’t celebrate them for the same reason that postmen don’t run around the garden punching the air after delivering a letter. Other footballers, however, have over the years developed rather distinctive ways of jubilating after triumphs, with Sergio Ramos and Tony Adams offering memorable takes on the Greek plate smashing tradition, the Spaniard by dropping the Copa del Rey under the team bus and Tony Adams by dropping Steve Morrow on to the Wembley turf, breaking his arm and ruling him out for the rest of the season.
Now, however, Lazio plan to take wacky celebrations to new levels: for the Italian club are plotting to mark winning the right to return to the Champions League after an eight-year absence by splashing out on a brand new strikeforce of Robin van Persie and Fabio Borini!
If the best part of Lazio’s celebration is that it could prove infectious, sparking joyous scenes across Liverpool and Manchester, then Manchester City’s spending plans could have the opposite effect, as they plan on upsetting both Liverpool and United by luring Raheem Sterling before breaking the £100m barrier to prise Paul Pogba from Juventus. City also intend duelling with Arsenal for the services of Monaco’s Geoffrey Kondogbia.
Adding to United’s pain, centre-back Dante has reportedly turned down the chance to move to Old Trafford and will instead stay at Bayern Munich. On the plus side, Sporting Lisbon are keen to take Nani back for good.
Meanwhile, Paris Saint-German have their hearts set on bringing Ángel Di María to the city of love, where he could strike up a happy relationship with Carlos Tevez, whom PSG hope to buy from Juventus. Paris has not proved to be an especially romantic destination for Yohan Cabaye, so he will leave this summer and hook up again with his old flame Alan Pardew at Crystal Palace despite being wooed by more moneyed suitors.
United are not thought to be among them but they are believed to be chasing Galatasaray goalkeeper Fernando Muslera, with a view to snapping him up if David de Gea defects to Real Madrid. Liverpool are also on the look-out for a new keeper and their prospects of catching Rui Patrício have improved after Sporting Lisbon signed Azbe Jug, seemingly as a replacement for Patrício.
While PSG manager, Laurent Blanc, says Dani Alves is using other clubs merely to attract an improved contract offer from Barcelona, the Daily Star says the full-back has agreed to move to Manchester United. Who do you trust more, readers?
Dick Advocaat will be given up to £50m to improve a raggedy Sunderland side that looks like it could do with at least twice that amount if they are to avoid another season dicing with relegation.
Sampdoria want Kurt Zouma. But Chelsea don’t want to sell. So much for that transfer, then. Spurs, Newcastle, Aston Villa and Southampton: all want Charlie Austin. Lastly, Iranian winger Alireza Jahanbakhsh is set to fly away from NEC Nijmegen and land in Brighton.
