How much is that Poggy in the window? In theory a simple question, but not when the particular Poggy in the particular window is represented by Mino Raiola, the Marc Chagall de nos jours. And it for this reason that Paul Pogba has not yet sealed his move to Manchester United; they are busy arguing with Juventus over who gets to give his agent £25m. For their part, Pogba and Raiola spent time in each other’s company on Monday, rather like two people who know each other; this amazingly gnomic act was enough to put a person in quite a tizzy.
Nor do United plan to leave Turin with just Pogba; in an act of rare imagination, they also want to buy Leonardo Bonucci, tempting him to Old Trafford, with the mystique, prestige and romance that only comes with obscene wealth. In such circumstance, one can only conclude that José Mourinho is not entirely impressed with Phil Jones, Chris Smalling and Marcos Rojo. A man of rare wit and insight, Mourinho would also like to move Bastian Schweinsteiger – easier said than done – and Besiktas have expressed an interest in the player, whose ears are said to have pricked up upon hearing the word “Turkey”.
Across town, the arch talent-spotter that is Pep Guardiola has unearthed yet another rough diamond, and is of the opinion that Lionel Messi is rather good at the old association football. Should he ever choose to leave Camp Nou, Beswick is believed to be his preferred destination, while Joan Laporta thinks that there is a “conspiracy” to force him out. The former Barcelona president, defeated in the most recent presidential election, definitely has nothing whatsoever to gain from peddling such a yarn.
Meanwhile, both Manchester clubs are keen to procure the heavenly, divine, Gabriel Jesus. Currently with Palmeiras, Jesus is a striker who can also play out wide, and after City offered £26.8m, United volunteered to pay £30m in a move absolutely reeking of Ed Woodward. Jesus, for his part, has always dreamt of playing for whoever offers the most cash and, by amazing coincidence, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain are also said to be interested in him.
Not to be outdone, Arsenal’s pursuit of Riyad Mahrez continues with Arsène Wenger admitting that he came close to buying him last summer, except he’d never heard of him. And light was also shed on the matter by none other than Demarai Gray, the renowned sage revealing that his pal is “not bothered” by speculation, nor does his face look bothered
Elsewhere, Liverpool and Borussia Dortmund have both spotted Moussa Sissoko’s ability to run up and down for ages and ages when he can be arsed. As such, both would like to sign him and have made offers to that effect, but the lingering aura of John Carver may be enough to keep him in the north-east.
Finally, Everton are also doing their best to spend lots of money. They would like to buy Napoli’s Kalidou Koulibaly, excited by the chance to play alongside Phil Jagielka and like Leighton Baines, a huge fan of popular beat combo, Menswear. They do, however, face competition for the player from Chelsea, though appear to have a free run at Stoke’s Marko Arnautovic, in demand following his star-turn at Euro 2016.
