It has taken Pep Guardiola’s huge football brain no longer than a week to come up with the magic formula that will unlock the door to rich success at Manchester City. It’s odd, because it’s the kind of formula his predecessors have opted for in the past to mixed results. You know, the one that involves another attacking midfielder/winger arriving to add a couple more mph to the zippiness of the passing moves in the final third of the pitch that are already so zippy that Sergio Agüero inevitably twangs a hamstring shortly after the season begins just to try to keep up with the pinball wizardry up front. The latest player is Leroy Sané, the German Raheem Sterling, albeit a few inches taller and a just a little more loved than the England fans’ favourite. City’s recruitment team have sent £35m the way of Schalke for the 20-year-old but, with the pound dropping as regularly and dramatically as Pepe these days, the Bundesliga club want £42m, which may well be worth 42p by the time you read this.
But Pep won’t stop there. Having realised that Pablo Zabaleta has more miles on the clock than a 1976 Volkswagen Camper, he’s hoping to lure Joshua Kimmich to the Etihad Stadium from where else but Bayern Munich. The 21-year-old Germany right-back is fond of ‘bombing on’, an expression that probably isn’t in Pep’s lexicon but soon will be after he’s watched football in an English pub. He’s signed him before, for £6m, from RB Leipzig. Only this time he’ll cost a wee bit more money. “Don’t ever say he can’t play in defence,’ Guardiola once told a bunch of German hacks who he felt had been critical of the defender. “I just love this kid.” He’ll have to love him to the tune of £25m to get Bayern’s attention.
The latest on Paul Pogba is that he’s called Manchester United his “first family”, which is great news for José Mourinho and will surely have Ed Woodward typing a special code into the Old Trafford safe but, let’s be honest, it’s a bit hurtful to his mum and dad now isn’t it? Meanwhile, PSG believe they can provide Bastian Schweinsteiger with the perfect semi-retirement suite in the centre of the Parc des Princes pitch, a place where the 31-year-old can play football in his own time due to the fact that no opposing player has been seen doing anything remotely dangerous with a ball at the home of the French champions for at least 18 months. PSG may have to help to buy Schweinsteiger out of his contract at United though. A cheque for £12m should do the trick.
If Mario Balotelli can be bothered to board a flight to east Asia, it looks like he’ll be handed a place in attack at whichever Chinese Super League club stumps up the closest offer to £16m to put an end to his glorious spell at Liverpool.
Juventus are already in the mood to spend some of the Pogba cash that will soon be stuffed into their vault. They will wave £80m around in front of Napoli suits in order to whisk Gonzalo Higuaín away from the Stadio San Paolo and leave Arsène Wenger staring forlornly at the few silver coins he has been holding in his right hand for the past few days. Chin up Arsène. At least you still have Joel Campbell. Oh. It says here he’s off to Valencia to pair up with Nani, who has finally found form just 12 years after he threatened to do so.
Burnley want midfielder Jeff Hendrick to play a central role in their brave but ultimately doomed Premier League survival bid next season but have been told by Derby that they’ll have to part with more than £6m of that Sky TV cash if they really want him. Sean Dyche may just turn his attention to Lee Chung-yong instead, the Crystal Palace midfielder who, while only tending to play for around 27 seconds each term, always manages to score a goal-of-the-season contender.
And finally, Stoke have made a polite enquiry to Everton about the availability of James McCarthy. Unless the Toffees have done a deal for William Carvalho, it’s probably fair to say that Ronald Koeman has politely told them where to go.
