Given that he boasts Laurent Koscielny, Gabriel, Per Mertesacker and Calum Chambers as his senior centre-backs, it has long been clear that Arsène Wenger has absolutely no need whatsoever to strengthen in that department. Unforced error, slowness, clumsiness, callowness, impetuosity and unreliability – all the things that one now looks for in an Arsenal defence – could scarcely be better represented in what is a perfectly balanced back four. Verily has Wenger revolutionised the club, killing stereotypes and reversing expectations. But, ever the innovator, he has come up with yet another ruse to avoid wasting money on unnecessary fripperies: pursue a player upon whom Manchester United are already keen to overspend. Oh là là, such élan! Sacré bleu, what Gallic flair!
For José Mourinho is trying to add yet another alright defender to a heady mix that already includes Philip Jones, Christopher Smalling and Marcos Rojo. Except he is using the aforementioned Rojo to tempt Southampton into selling him José Fonte, because who wouldn’t be keen to replace their Rover Montego with a souped-up Skoda? Fonte, though is keen on the move, and has rejected an offer that would make him Saints’ highest earner.
Mourinho will, not, however, offer Wayne Rooney a contract extension – for at least another 18 months. Given a current deal that is worth £300,000 a week and does not expire for another three years, the significance of this is not entirely clear, but those in charge at Old Trafford believe that he still has plenty to offer the club – as they might, giving how much they are already committed to keep offering him.
Across Manchester, City would like get shot of Yaya Touré, Wilfried Bony and Eliaquim “Mrs” Mangala, while poor little Joseph Hart is also ready to pack his trunk and say goodbye to the circus. Shockingly, it has transpired that Pep Guardiola is unreasonably unenamoured of his ability with the ball at his feet, because he is only a footballer, after all. And it’s not as if he’s known for years that at some point, Guardiola would be his manager, nor has he had the spare time to turn a weakness into a strength, least of all when there are muscles to be had.
So, Hart has been informed that despite his elite-level tunnel-shouting, he does not figure in Guardiola’s immediate plans, and with Claudio Bravo arriving to replace him, he has indicated a desire to leave on loan. Currently, Sevilla and Everton are the main contenders, which must be doing wonders for Maarten Stekelenburg’s confidence.
And Everton – along with Internazionale – are also keen on Newcastle’s Moussa Sissoko. The player, however, would like to join Real Madrid!
Naturally, Barcelona have responded immediately, hence a rumour of even greater incongruity. They would like to buy Salomón Rondón from West Bromwich Albion!
Meanwhile, just around the corner at West Ham United, they are close to signing Achraf Lazaar of Palermo. Able to play at both left-back and left-wing, he will be the perfect foil to Michail Antonio, equally uncomfortable at right-back and right-wing.
And finally for today, to Vicarage Road, where Sunderland’s Younès Kaboul and Juventus’ Roberto Pereyra are soon to be welcomed. The likelihood is that both were attracted by Watford’s bustling and chic Harlequin Centre, though the allure of Costco, Kudos discotheque and Watford Springs water park should not be underestimated.
