There was a time when a club would not have dreamed of buying back a player they had sold for a larger fee from the team they had sold said player to. You see, many moons ago, football clubs had pride – an alien word these days – and managers, chairmen and chief executives would rather save face than go sniffing around one of their cast-offs. Not these days. Nope. Where once shame would come shuddering up through the shoes of club head-honchos who had seen a player go elsewhere and develop into a fearsome star, now it appears there is only excessive self pride and self congratulatory back-slapping at the idea of being able to spend so much cash to ward off rivals and secure a player once deemed surplus to requirements. Hello Chelsea. Hello Romelu Lukaku.
Word is that Antonio Conte has instructed Roman Abramovich to dig deeper into his pockets to come up with a bid better than £57m and closer to the £75m that Everton are demanding for the striker they bought from Chelsea for £28m just two years ago. It seems Everton have used a revolutionary new technique of valuing each of the goals scored since his purchase at around £1m, meaning Chelsea should really bid £74m for the striker rather than the expected improved offer of £68m if they want to show their fans how, when it comes to torching cash, they’re still a European heavyweight. They’re not in Manchester United’s league, mind. Ed Woodward is preparing to crack open the bubbly in anticipation of bringing Paul Pogba back to Old Trafford for only £99.2m more than they let him go for. Sterling work Ed. Just please make it end. The Mill really has had enough.
On the subject of Manchester United the Chosen One, David Moyes, wants Marouane Fellaini’s elbows and hide-and-seek’s Adnan Januzaj to join him at Sunderland, with beancounters at the Stadium of Light busy trying to locate £45m for the pair. And José Mourinho has made it clear that he wants a new centre-back before the season starts. And it says here he may try to hijack Everton’s £9m raid for Southampton’s José Fonte so he has someone Portuguese to natter to in Alderley Edge. If that happens, then Toffees boss, Ronald Koeman, will look alluringly in the direction of Swansea’s Ashley Williams.
Mourinho will resist the urge to buy back Jonny Evans for a fee greater than the £6m he was sold to West Bromwich Albion for, though. But in what is a sure sign that the end of days are upon us, Arsenal are weighing up a £15m bid to bring Evans to north London to replace Per Mertesacker, who has been ruled out for ages with a knee injury. If Tony Pulis refuses to let go of the Northern Irishman then Wenger will turn his attention to Swansea’s Federico Fernández instead. Wenger hasn’t forgotten about that illusive striker though. He is still hopeful of giving his forward line another gear other than the one that Olivier Giroud has been stuck in for the past four seasons. And it seems that if a deal for Lyon’s Alexandre Lacazette can’t be struck then he may seriously consider the idea of shoving £50m in a suitcase and leaving outside the gates of San Siro until Mauro Icardi is released by Internazionale. But come on. We all know he’ll end up signing a £2m prospect from Ligue 2 though don’t we?
West Ham have hung some nice new curtains, painted the hallway and put all their favourite pictures up at their new gaff but to really make it feel snug they’d like to place André Ayew on the Olympic Stadium turf like a homely gnome. They’ll have to send £20m to Swansea, mind, but that shouldn’t be a problem. They also plan to bring Cameron Borthwick-Jackson to east London from Manchester United on a season-long loan. Swansea, meanwhile, would like to sign 2014’s Nacer Chadli from Spurs for £10m.
Lucas Leiva is on the verge of joining Galatasaray from Liverpool for £2.3m, which appears so low when juxtaposed with the general transfer madness of the day, that a better deal would appear to be a bag of tracksuits and some used traffic cones.
Zinedine Zidane has confirmed that Real Madrid’s Jesé has been in talks with PSG about winning Ligue 1 there next season, while his son, Enzo Zidane, may be on his way to Middlesbrough.
