Nigel Pearson has not been sacked by Leicester. If you were worried that he had been sacked, don’t worry, he can take care of himself. Nigel Pearson can take care of himself. Don’t you worry about that. He’s hard.
Real Madrid have worked out what José Mourinho worked out three years ago: Iker Casillas is past it. Not to worry, though, because they have hit on an excellent way of winding up Mourinho if their move for Manchester United’s one-man team, David de Gea, doesn’t come off – they’ll go for Chelsea’s Thibaut Courtois instead.
Manchester City have decided they could do with a third right-back and are sniffing around Barcelona’s Dani Alves, but they’ll face competition from United. Alves is out of contract in the summer and wants a three-year deal worth £100,000 a week. Throw in a few grand more and he’ll even bother to defend properly.
Southampton want Marseille’s André-Pierre Gignac, hoping he can provide competition for Graziano Pellè in the burly beefcake role. Everton and West Ham are also interested in Gignac.
Arsenal are thinking about selling Jack Wilshere. Presumably so he can take up a marketing role at Benson & Hedges. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Tee hee hee.
If Arsenal sell Wilshere (to Benson & Hedges, let’s run with this one), they’ll look to replace him with Paris Saint-Germain’s Marco Verratti, theirs for a cool £40m.
The end. Slim pickings today, readers, we’ll have to rely on the shenanigans at Leicester to keep us entertained.
