There was a time when Arsène Wenger would rather have donned a butler suit and catered to José Mourinho’s every whim than spend millions on a player about to turn 30, but then again, there was a time when Wenger was champion of England. Things change. So in an effort to become champion of England once again, Wenger is considering sanctioning the recruitment of the Celta Vigo forward Nolito, who is said to be displeased by his latest contract offer and has been given reason to believe Arsenal will pay him much more. That sounds like a project a player could get excited by.
There is something green and foldable about Arsenal’s project that excites Adrien Rabiot but there is more, too, which is why the 20-year-old is considering leaving Paris Saint-Germain for London, clubs permitting.
Radamel Falcao’s demise from world great to manager’s regret has been sad to behold. But every cloud has a silver lining, except mushroom clouds, and the Colombian’s embarrassing could spell good news for the MLS franchise Columbus Crew, who apparently believe Falcao could become a big hit in the United States, like Bradley Wright-Phillips, One Direction and Prozac.
Sir Alex Ferguson has aired his fears Jürgen Klopp could make Liverpool good again, and the German is preparing to reinforce those fears by making Giuseppe Rossi good again. The forward, who once flopped at Manchester United, is doing fine at Fiorentina, and Klopp believes he could do even better at Anfield.
Swansea City are said to be believe the answer to their problems is a long, convoluted one with obtuse jargon and a positive emphasis on the fact the club is riding high one point above the team who beat the reigning champions last weekend. The answer, then, could be Brendan Rodgers. Rangers’ Mark Warburton and the former Internazionale supremo Walter Mazzarri have also been mentioned. All of which suggests people reckon Garry Monk is on his bike.
Hatem Ben Arfa’s current phase of fine play is so darn convincing Inter and Borussia Dortmund are among the clubs queueing to offer him a contract when his deal at Nice expires.
Troy Deeney and Odion Ighalo may be the most thrilling partnership since beans and toast but that doesn’t mean that simple recipe can’t be improved: Watford are preparing to add a tasty Lincolnshire sausage in the form, obviously, of Juventus and Italy striker Simone Zaza.
Finally, Celtic want Libor Kozak, which is handy because Aston Villa seemingly don’t.
That was a lie. The “finally” bit, that is. Because here is the real last datum: Everton and Sunderland want to add to Leeds United fans’ already considerable pain by taking Sam Byram away from them.
