It’s been three years since Arsène Wenger first cast an admiring glance in the direction of Alvaro Morata. Back then the Arsenal manager did what he always does when he’s caught looking remotely like he has the hots for a striker, and behaved like an environmentalist who has just been caught staring longingly at a dirty hot-rod. “I am not concerned about that [buying a striker in January]. We have at the moment Yaya Sanogo.” Ample cover Arsène, yes. Just ask Charlton. But perhaps the Arsenal manager is about to change his tune.
You see, he’s sniffing around Juventus, where the Spain international now plies his trade. Wenger’s had enough of playing hide and seek with Theo Walcott on Saturday afternoons and is willing to send the striker with 11 years’ worth of potential in his napsack off for an extended session of hiding elsewhere while he pairs Morata up front with Olivier Giroud. That’s Giroud who, despite getting regular pelters off all and sundry, has actually scored twice as many goals as Morata this season. Gulp. But the deal – if it goes ahead – will probably involve Real Madrid nabbing Morata for their £23m buyback clause before selling him on to Arsenal for £30m with a seen-you-coming wink. Wenger will then buy the Greek defender Kostas Manolas from Roma as well as the Borussia Mönchengladbach midfielder Granit Xhaka and that’s a new spine – something Arsenal haven’t had for more than a decade.
The word is that Zlatan Ibrahimovic will only take his massive ego to Manchester United if Louis van Gaal’s massive ego is replaced by José Mourinho’s massive ego. You see, someone dug up a quote from Zlatan’s autobiography in which he described Van Gaal as “a pompous ass”. A quote that may well have been invented by his ghostwriter, but let’s not dwell on that. If this is true the good news for Zlatan is that Mourinho is already looking for a house in leafy Cheshire with a suitable bunker from which he can plot Pep’s downfall. But – and take this with a pinch of salt big enough to fill a dry lake in Nevada – Mourinho is on Real Madrid’s list of potential replacements for Zinedine Zidane, should he fail to overturn the 2-0 deficit in the second leg of the Champions League quarter-final against Wolfsburg.
Diego Costa may consider a move to China if Atlético Madrid can’t afford to take him back to the Vicente Calderón Stadium. Atlético Madrid probably can’t afford to take him back to the Vicente Calderón Stadium. So expect Jorge Mendes to jump at the chance to accept a £70m offer from China and wrap a bow around Costa before posting him off c/o The President of the People’s Republic, Xi Jinping. Following Costa out of Stamford Bridge will be Eden Hazard, a footballer who you may remember from last season. The incoming Chelsea manager, Antonio Conte, wants a dynamic battler. He’ll instruct Roman Abramovich to throw money at Bayern Munich until they release Arturo Vidal. “In war, I would always want someone like Arturo beside me,” Conte roared of Vidal, when he managed him at Juventus. Sounds feisty but Conte will likely have more luck in prising Miralem Pjanic from Roma for £30m.
And Southampton will throw a new contract down in front of Fraser Forster, instruct him to take off his massive gloves, and tell him to sign it before Manchester United come knocking in the hope that he will replace David De Gea when the Spaniard takes his goalkeeping heroics to Real Madrid at the end of the season.
