Alexis Sánchez will attempt to empty Arsenal’s coffers by dropping into conversation a £400,000-per-week offer he’s had from the Chinese Super League as leverage for a bumper new deal. The Gunners will pretend to be unperturbed but are secretly quite perturbed, not least because Sánchez is narrating the club’s nativity play and his booming voice is irreplaceable. Arsène Wenger is frantically searching for a stand-in behind the scenes and Marco Reus is his prime target (football-wise – the German has a famously reedy voice).
Slaven Bilic refused to watch any of the weekend’s football highlights following West Ham’s drubbing by Arsenal, which is why he is interested in a January move for Marouane Fellaini. Everton, having witnessed Fellaini’s impact first-hand on Sunday, are instead chasing fellow United fringe players Memphis Depay, rated at £25m, and Morgan Schneiderlin – though the latter is also being eyed by Leicester, West Brom and Milan for good measure. Should Ronald Koeman bring in his preferred Old Trafford cast-offs, he will cast off his current United cast-off, Tom Cleverley.
Manchester City and Chelsea are preparing offers for Celtic’s 13-year-old wunderkid, Karamoko Dembele. Chelsea are also browsing the Premier League high street for a new centre-back and Middlesbrough have seen them coming, quickly slapping a £35m price-tag on Ben Gibson’s forehead and moving him to the back of the shop, presumably hidden behind David Nugent. The Blues face stiff competition for their alternative option, Napoli’s Kalidou Koulibaly, from Altético Madrid.
And Frank Lampard is considering whether to join Gareth Southgate’s England backroom staff after Sammy Lee was given the elbow earlier this week.
