And that is that. Here are the full-time scores from the Premier League:
Chelsea 4-2 Swansea
Crystal Palace 0-0 Burnley
Southampton 4-0 Newcastle
Stoke 0-1 Leicester
Sunderland 2-2 Spurs
West Bromwich Albion 0-2 Everton
That’s all from me. Thanks for all the emails and tweets. Talk soon. Bye!
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GOAL!!! Southampton 4-0 Newcastle (Schneiderlin)
This is brilliant from Schneiderlin. He does a most magnificent curler to put a touch more gloss on the scoreline and a bit more pressure on Pardew.
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And we are into time added on around the grounds. The only game that remains goalless is the one between Palace and Burnley.
GOAL!!! Chelsea 4-2 Swansea (Shelvey)
They couldn’t, could they? Probably not but Shelvey has given Swansea some cruel, cruel hope with a decent finish from the edge of the box.
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Missed penalty!
Julian Speroni has just pulled off an absolute belter of a save from Arfield to keep his side in the game.
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GOAL!!! Sunderland 2-2 Tottenham ( Kane OG)
A free-kick from outside the box is whipped in with plenty of pace and there is nothing that Kane can do with it other than turn the ball into his own net. Game on.
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GOAL!!! Chelsea 4-1 Swansea (Remy)
Roman is happy. Roman is so happy he is standing up and clapping. Hazard whizzes his way down the wing before cutting the ball back to Oscar. The ball makes its way via the Brazilian to Remy and he finishes with a one-touch effort for a debut goal.
Some team news for you ahead of Liverpool’s two nil win over Aston Villa:
Confirmed #LFC team v @AVFCOfficial: Mignolet, Manquillo, Moreno, Lovren, Sakho, Gerrard, Henderson, Coutinho, Markovic, Lallana, Balotelli
— Liverpool FC (@LFC) September 13, 2014
#AVFC team to face #LFC: Guzan, Hutton, Baker, Senderos, Cissokho, Westwood, Delph, Cleverley, Richardson, Agbonlahor [c], Weimann.
— Aston Villa FC (@AVFCOfficial) September 13, 2014
Newcastle have been bloody awful. Embarrassing, in fact!
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) September 13, 2014
“Every goal should be celebrated crazily” insists Matt Dony. “You have just proven that you are better than the other team. Whether you’re already 5-0 up, or it’s the consolation goal in a 5-1 tonking, to nuts. Scream in someone’s face. Give out the abuse. Bust out some ‘Yo momma’ jokes. I’m more about entertainment than sportsmanship.”
GOAL!!! Chelsea 3-1 Swansea (Costa)
The spot at the top of the league is Chelsea’s and it is down to the first hat-trick of the season. Costa bags that by finishing off Ramires’ pass.
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GOAL!!! West Bromwich Albion 0-2 Everton (Mirallas)
It should have two nil a few minutes ago but it is now. Leighton Baines plays the ball to Mirallas. He hits one low and hard from just outside the box and Foster fails to get down in time to stop its forward momentum.
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GOAL!!! Stoke 0-1 Leicester (Ulloa)
The deadlock is broken. On the counter, Ulloa (who is starting to pay back that big fee) converts Konchesk’s cross.
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Bayern overcome Stuttgart 2-0. Ribery comes on and clinches it ahead of City's visit to the Allianz
— James Horncastle (@JamesHorncastle) September 13, 2014
@ianmccourt I don't expect ex-players to go mad and moon the opposing fans when they score. But for God's sake at least crack a smile.
— Gilles (@gillesoffthenet) September 13, 2014
“Suarez diving in front of David Moyes was worth the price of admission,” reckons Rory Kenneally.
GOAL!!! Chelsea 2-1 Swansea (Costa)
That moan you can hear right now? That’s the sound of the all the Fantasy Football managers around the world who decided against bringing Diego Costa into their team this week as they thought he would be injured. He and Fabregas combine once more (after a lovely move) and the striker side-foots his side into the lead.
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GOAL!!! Southampton 3-0 Newcastle (Cork)
Game over for Newcastle. Game over for Pardew? Cork latches onto a poor back pass, walks around Krul and slots the ball into the net.
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“I’d pay to see a good celly!” cheers Peter Cockett. “Think of the classics: Gazza’s dentist chair, Klinsman’s dive, God sniffing the white line!” Meanwhile at West Brom, Everton are one nil up but they should be two nil up. Naismith, who has been in such good form this season, has just done one over the bar from close range after some good work from Lukaku.
GOAL!!! Sunderland 1-2 Tottenham ( Eriksen)
Some dreadful defending from Wes Brown has allowed Spurs to retake the lead at the Stadium of Light. He it was who knocked the ball into the path of Eriksen who, in turn, bundled the ball over the line.
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Some match reports to keep you occupied for a moment or two:
And we are off again. And with that, here are the thoughts of Patrick Cullen on non-celebrations celebrations (hereafter NCC). Says Patrick:
Players not celebrating a goal against a team they used to play for is, I think, meant as a mark of respect for those fans who once supported them. The problem is, by choosing to respect the fans of the club they used to play for, they are also, implicitly at least, showing a lack of respect for the fans of their current club. These fans have a justifiable expectation that any player, whose wages they make a contribution to and whose efforts they vocally support, show pleasure when scoring. Anyway, do the same moral standards apply to not diving against a team they used to play for, or the non-use of any other of the dark arts of sportsmanship to cheat their former fans out of three points?
“Whatever about Premier League celebrations,” says David Flynn, “there’s nothing as cringey as seeing a group of Championship or League 1 players doing a planned dance or comedy in-joke routine after they’ve scored. Maybe if they’d spent the twenty minutes it took to work out on some shooting practice they might be playing at a higher standard.”
Some half-time scores from the Premier League:
Chelsea 1-1 Swansea
Crystal Palace 0-0 Burnley
Southampton 2-0 Newcastle
Stoke 0-0 Leicester
Sunderland 1-1 Spurs
West Bromwich Albion 0-1 Everton
Back in five minutes.
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GOAL!!! Chelsea 1-1 Swansea (Costa)
A simple header from a Fabregas corner see Diego Costa nod his side back into the game. It took Torres 39 games to reach that total. Poor Nando.
Diego Costa is the second player to score in his first four PL games, joining Coventry's Mick Quinn in 1992.
— Paul Carr (@PCarrESPN) September 13, 2014
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The width of the post has stopped Mousa Dembélé from claiming his first goal of the afternoon and stopped Spurs from retaking the lead against Sunderland. Incidentally, Tottenham’s last four league away wins against Sunderland have all ended 2-1 so expect them to take back the lead at some stage this afternoon.
“I don’t get all the concern over celebrations,” harrumphs Peter Wahlberg. “Almost every celebration is terrible anyway – garden variety fist pumping, dog piles, group hugs or, worse, idiotically kissing the badge/pointing at your name/cupping your ear. With the rare exception (e.g. Gilardino and the air violin), I use the post-goal delay to refill my beer. Although it begs a question – are any goal celebrations actually worth the price of admission?”
Well, are there?
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More from Scotland and Simon McMahon. “Early Ciftci goal gives United the lead at Tannadice. In other news, just realised that this could be the last week with clockwatch updates from Scotland because, if we vote Yes on Thursday, football will undoubtedly be cancelled as we all scrounge around in the darkness looking for food. Little bit of politics there. During which Hamilton have equalised and then had a man sent off.”
There is not much happening over at Stoke v Leicester, in case you are wondering, except for Peter Crouch missing a decent opportunity with his head from a few yards out. It’s odd how bad a header doer he is, guess it’s because he was always so tall and never had to learn technique (unlike, say, someone like Michael Owen).
@ianmccourt I like the non-celebration thing. Why can't a player decide that the warmth shown in the past be acknowledged in the present?
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) September 13, 2014
By all accounts, Chelsea and Diego Costa are being kept quiet due to the fact that every time Fabregas gets the ball, the Swansea players hound him, breath down his neck and don’t give him a chance to do his thang. It’s amazing how much harder they work under Monk than the previous regime. Elsewhere on the continent, Bayern are one to the good against Stuttgart; Dortmund are two to the good against Freiburg; and Barcelona and Bilbao are without a goal.
Can’t be long now, can it?
The #PardewOut movement are getting some great ammunition already this afternoon.
— Back Page Football (@bpfootball) September 13, 2014
“There is nothing that can make my day like a John Terry OG!” emails Reid in Uxbridge (Ontario). Suspect that Reid might not be the only one who has had their day enhanced by an OG from Terry.
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GOAL!!! Southampton 2-0 Newcastle (Pelle)
Pelle and Tadic play a delightful one-two and the Italian finishes of the move for his second goal of the game. Oh Newcastle.
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Looks like Lukaku did not the non-celebration celebration thing. Grrr. People talk about diving and cheating and the excessive amounts of money in the game but these non-celebration celebrations are the real things that are ruining football.
All this action = GREATEST. LEAGUE. IN. THE. WORLD.
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GOAL!!! Chelsea 0-1 Swansea (Terry OG)
He has only gone and put one into his own net from Taylor’s cross across the six-yard box.
John Terry: Has scored 2 own goals in his last 9 Premier League appearances having scored none in his previous 144
— WhoScored.com (@WhoScored) September 13, 2014
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Meanwhile in Spain:
The Camp Nou commemorates Catalán independence day (last Thursday) pic.twitter.com/ApFZVy127Y
— Richard Martin (@rich9908) September 13, 2014
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GOAL!!! Southampton 1-0 Newcastle (Pelle)
Like a can of exploding beans, Newcastle are all over the shop down on the south coast and Southampton have taken advantage of it. Bertrand put in the cross and Pelle’s head did the rest.
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GOAL!!! Sunderland 1-1 Tottenham (Johnson)
... Adam Johnson has leveled the scores already. He cuts inside and with the help of a wicked deflection – deflections are always wicked, aren’t they? – his shot finds its way to the back of the net.
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GOAL!!! Sunderland 0-1 Tottenham (Chadli)
Adebayor has a shot on goal parried and Chadli is in the right place at the right time to follow it up and slot his side into the lead, a lead that does not last very long because ....
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GOAL!!! West Bromwich Albion 0-1 Everton (Lukaku)
Well that did not take long. Lukaku capitalises on some pretty poor defending from WBA – who have quite a few problems at the back – to give his side the lead with a curler from all of 20 yards.
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The players are out, the sun is out and it is time we go going. The reason for Bony being on the bench is the big game of the afternoon is that he was on international duty during the week. Here is an early word from our man in south London:
Huge cheer for Wilfried Zaha from the Palace fans.
— Jacob Steinberg (@JacobSteinberg) September 13, 2014
Who was that Graham fellow?
Here’s our Graham Simon (McMahon) with a quick reminder of what is happening north of the border this afternoon. Types he: “Afternoon Ian. Lovely day in Dundee for the (I kid you not) top of the table clash between Dundee United and Hamilton. United could go top of the SPFL with a win. Celtic held on to beat Aberdeen 2-1 in the early kick off and there is also a Tayside derby in Perth where St. Johnstone entertain, eh, I forget.”
FT: Arsenal 2-2 Manchester City http://t.co/xOGQ3fI4Hy #afc #mcfc (Photo: AFP) pic.twitter.com/UbifWtEpoT
— Guardian sport (@guardian_sport) September 13, 2014
Some brilliant pre-match reading for you via Donald McRae’s interview with the coolest footballer of all time, Johan Cruyff. The Dutch legend, who once tried to block the appointment of Louis van Gaal at Ajax, says Manchester United manager must get the players to develop their games for the sake of the team. Enjoy.
Johan Cruyff has come home to Amsterdam and, on a cloudy day in the old city where he was born, grew up and made his professional debut for Ajax 50 years ago this November, he moves with good-humoured elegance through the crowds calling out his name and trying to touch him. At the Olympic Stadium, walking around an arena that has been taken over for the day by his Foundation, this is an exercise in the familiar art of being Johan Cruyff. The 67-year-old reacts to the adoration, and even being cuddled by a grown man dressed up as a “Cruyffie” mascot, with a wry smile. This is how it feels to have been a football superstar for five decades.
Alongside his earliest hero Alfredo Di Stéfano, who died this summer, Pelé and Diego Maradona, Cruyff belongs to a giant quartet who illuminate football with their almost mythic reputations. Cruyff stands out in even sharper relief for, while Di Stéfano succeeded as a coach, only the Dutchman can claim a sustained impact on the game from the touchline during his years in charge of Barcelona. Di Stéfano once complained of football management that “apart from working with the young, it’s the most horrible profession that could exist”.
Cruyff has always thought differently. During his remarkable tenure at Barcelona, from 1988 to 1996, he used the speed, space and tactical fluidity of Total Football, which he and Rinus Michels, his coach at Ajax, conjured up together, to transform a moribund team and build an enduring legacy.
Barcelona’s masters of tiki-taka, such as Xavi Hernández and Andrés Iniesta, always stressed everything they did was based on the Cruyff template. From his creation of the youth academy at La Masia to the whirligig of training rondos [piggy-in-the-middle routines], which perfected their purity of possession, to the relentless pressing of the opposition, Barcelona and Spain used Cruyff’s model to dominate European and world football. That era has faded, reaching its symbolic end on a World Cup night in June when Holland, coached by Louis van Gaal, with whom Cruyff shares a mutual antipathy, destroyed Spain 5-1.
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Elsewhere on this website and in north London, there has been another goal in the early afternoon game between Arsenal and Manchester City. Join my colleague, Nick Miller, to find out which side has grabbed that goal.
The team news is in
Just a quick few things to keep your peepers peeled for. Diego Costa has had a good old dose of the magic sponge and is ready to do this thing for Chelsea against the other unbeaten side in the Premier League this season. Said unbeaten side, Swansea, will start without Bony, who is relegated to the bench for the day. No word just yet on why that is. Elsewhere at Stoke, Bojan – yes, still can’t believe it either – will start against Leicester, who have no Kasper Schmeichel keeping guard today. Over at Sunderland, the intriguing Ricardo Gabriel Álvarez makes his debut against Tottenham. Here are those teams in full.
Chelsea v Swansea
Chelsea: Courtois; Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry, Azpilicueta; Matic, Fabregas; Schurrle, Oscar, Hazard; Diego Costa.
Subs: Cech, Filipe Luis, Zouma, Ramires, Salah, Remy, Willian.
Swansea: Fabianski, Rangel, Amat, William, Taylor, Ki, Shelvey, Sigurdsson, Dyer, Routledge, Gomis.
Subs: Tremmel, Tiendalli, Fernandez, Carroll, Montero, Emnes, Bony.
Referee: Kevin Friend
Crystal Palace v Burnley
Crystal Palace: Speroni, Ward, Delaney, Dann, Mariappa, Jedinak (c), McArthur, Puncheon, Zaha, Campbell, Gayle.
Subs: Hennessey, Fryers, Kelly, Ledley, Williams, Ledley, Bolasie, Doyle.
Burnley: Heaton, Trippier, Duff, Shackell, Mee, Arfield, Marney, Jones, Boyd, Jutkiewicz, Ings.
Subs: Gilks, Reid, Ward, Wallace, Sordell, Long, Barnes.
Referee: Mike Dean
Southampton v Newcastle
Southampton: Forster, Clyne, Fonte, Alderweireld, Bertrand, Cork, Schneiderlin, S. Davis, Tadic, Long, Pellè.
Subs: K. Davis, Yoshida, Gardos, Wanyama, Ward-Prowse, Mayuka, McQueen.
Newcastle: Krul; Janmaat, Coloccini, Williamson, Haidara; Colback, Anita; Cabella, Sissoko, Gouffran; Riviere.
Subs: Elliot, S.Taylor, Tiote, Obertan, Ameobi, Armstrong, Perez.
Referee: Chris Foy
Stoke v Leicester
Stoke: Begovic; Bardsley, Shawcross, Wilson, Pieters; Whelan, Nzonzi; Moses, Bojan, Walters; Crouch.
Subs: Sorensen, Huth Muniesa, Arnautovic, Adam, Diouf, Assaidi.
Leicester: Hamer, De Laet, Morgan, Moore, Konchesky, Mahrez, Hammond, King, Schlupp, Ulloa, Nugent.
Subs: Smith, Drinkwater, Vardy, Cambiasso, Knockaert, Wasilewski, Wood.
Referee: Michael Oliver
Sunderland v Tottenham
Sunderland: Mannone, Vergini, van Aanholt, Brown, O’Shea, Cattermole, Larsson, Rodwell, Johnson, Alvarez, Wickham.
Subs: Pantilimon, Jones, Bridcutt, Gomez, Giaccherini, Buckley, Altidore
Tottenham: Lloris, Dier, Kaboul, Chiriches, Rose; Dembele, Capoue; Lamela, Eriksen, Chadli; Adebayor.
Subs: Vorm, Fazio, Naughton, Lennon, Stambouli, Townsend, Kane.
Referee: Craig Pawson
West Bromwich Albion v Everton
West Bromwich Albion: Foster, Wisdom, Olsson, Dawson, Pocognoli, Morrison, Gardner, Brunt, Dorrans, Berahino, Ideye.
Subs: Daniels, Gamboa, Baird, Yacob, McAuley, Blanco, Samaras.
Everton: Howard, Coleman, Baines, Jagielka, Stones, Barry, McCarthy, Mirallas, Naismith, McGeady, Lukaku.
Subs: Robles, Alcaraz, Garbutt, Gibson, Besic, Osman, Atsu.
Referee: Anthony Taylor
Good afternoon one and all
It’s back! It’s back!! It’s back!!! Break out the bunting, break out the bubbly and break out that brilliant grin. Toot a horn, kick your heels and kiss a stranger. Make sure the beer is cold, the crisps are salt and vinegar and there are plenty of those jelly snakes within arm’s reach. Draw the curtains, disable the doorbell and un-reverse your peep hole. Shove the kids off to the grandparents, tell your significant other that they should catch up with their friends and that you’ll join them later once you get over this throbber of a headache and when an old friend from the other side of the world who is only in town for a few days texts and says they’d like to see you, tell them to go on your Instagram account. Right. Got all that sorted? Good. Because you have a busy afternoon ahead. Now it may not be like the good old days when women wore poodle skirts, teenagers went to sock hops and idea of a football match being played at any other time than 3pm of a Saturday was as fanciful as that of mankind taking a trip to the Moon. But that does not mean that today’s Clockwatch does not have a lot to offer. Doubting Thomas? Look at this fixture list and doubt no more:
Chelsea v Swansea
Crystal Palace v Burnley
Southampton v Newcastle
Stoke v Leicester
Sunderland v Tottenham
West Bromwich Albion v Everton
Told you. Jam packed and bursting with Premier League goodness, inn’it? And it’s all coming your way very, very soon. As is team news We may even cram in some of that lower league jazz and some of that contineal stuff too if you are lucky. Pow!
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