In conclusion
With the title and top four looking foregone conclusions, the top-flight needed some thrills from somewhere – and it’s got them, with Leicester and QPR both winning to bring the survival race back to life. Don’t forget to join Barry Glendenning for Chelsea v Stoke, or, erm, me for Dortmund v Bayern. Thanks for reading. Bye!
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Full-time scores
Premier League
Everton 1-0 Southampton
Leicester 2-1 West Ham
Manchester United 3-1 Aston Villa
Swansea 3-1 Hull
West Brom 1-4 QPR
Championship
Bolton 1-1 Blackpool
Leeds 0-3 Blackburn
Reading 1-1 Cardiff
Sheffield Wednesday 1-1 Huddersfield
Scottish Premiership
Aberdeen 0-0 Partick
Dundee United 1-2 Ross County
Hamilton 1-1 St Johnstone
Inverness 1-1 Dundee
Kilmarnock 1-2 Motherwell
La Liga
Sevilla 2-0 Athletic Bilbao
FT: West Brom 1-4 QPR
That’s right.
FT: Everton 1-0 Southampton
Not much excitement, but a lovely surface and another home win for Everton. Southampton, it’s safe to say, aren’t going to make the Champions League.
GOAL! West Brom 1-4 QPR (Barton)
Joey Barton gets his first Premier League goal for three years, and it’s a thing of wonder, QPR racing away Sunday league style, West Brom falling over themselves as they try to clear, before Barton finishes low past Myhill.
FT: Swansea 3-1 Hull
Swansea show West Ham and West Brom how it’s done, seeing off relegation-threatened Hull with minimal fuss.
FT: Manchester United 3-1 Aston Villa
Two goals for Ander Herrera, one moment of magic from Wayne Rooney and United go above City, who play on Monday.
They love late goals in the Championship – with six goals all afternoon, there have been three more in injury time. It’s Reading 1-1 Cardiff, Sheffield Wednesday 1-1 Huddersfield and cruellest of all, Bolton 1-1 Blackpool.
FT: Leicester 2-1 West Ham
A third home win for Leicester, thanks to goals from Esteban Cambiasso and Andy King. They’re four points off safety with a game in hand...
GOAL! Manchester United 3-1 Aston Villa (Herrera)
Rooney finds Mata after a quick free-kick, and his cutback is rolled inside the near post by Herrera. He’s scored more today than etc and so on.
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GOAL! Swansea 3-1 Hull (Gomis)
Gomis lifts the ball over McGregor for his second goal of the afternoon to seal the win for Swansea – that’s more than Wilfried Bony has scored for Man City. Just saying.
Leicester hanging on at what Kevin Porter suggests I call New Filbert Street, while in the Championship, it’s Sheffield Wednesday 1-0 Huddersfield, and Leeds 0-3 Blackburn.
RED CARD! Mulumbu sent off for West Brom
Surely even QPR can’t mess this up now – Youssouf Mulumbu is sent packing by Lee Probert for an elbow on Joey Barton.
GOAL! Leicester 2-1 West Ham (King)
With moments to spare, Leicester climb on the bandwagon – and what better way than a deflected goal, bundled in from a scuffed Jamie Vardy attempt? No better way, that’s what.
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Ideye and Berahino continue to cause problems for West Brom against QPR. Ten more minutes for Rangers to hold out. In Scotland, it’s Dundee United 1-2 Ross County and Kilmarnock 1-2 Motherwell.
GOAL! Manchester United 2-1 Aston Villa (Benteke)
When times are tough, call for Joe Cole. The substitute plays a low, short corner, and Benteke pokes the ball through David de Gea’s legs. Game back on!
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GOAL! Manchester United 2-0 Aston Villa (Rooney)
This is something. Di Maria picks up the ball on the left and crosses at chest height towards Rooney, who somehow takes the spin and pace off the ball with one touch of an outstretched boot, spins and lashes the ball into the roof of the net.
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Kouyate is denied by a fingertip save from Schmeichel as West Ham get ever closer. Well, slightly less close – but you get the idea. At Old Trafford, Aston Villa earn a free-kick on the right – and Bacuna’s cross is nodded wide by Okore! There’s a point here for Villa if they fancy – I’m not sure how.
Gary Naylor tells us all we need to know about Everton v Southampton...
...but it’s far more interesting at the King Power, where Kouyate has a chance to give West Ham the lead - but turns a cut-back from Sakho onto the post!
Alex Bruce makes a skittish challenge on Gomis, and is substituted, with Mo Diame, back from injury, on in his place. Subbed by your own dad. Brutal.
At Leicester, Jamie Vardy tests Adrian twice in quick succession. With QPR winning, if Leicester want to jump on the Great Escape bandwagon, now would be the time. And a bad week for Leeds just got worse - down to ten men, they trail 1-0 at home to Blackburn.
It’s finished Wolfsburg 3-1 Stuttgart in the Bundesliga, Ricardo Rodriguez with two and Andre Schürrle with the other. They are now seven points behind Bayern, who play Dortmund at 5.30pm sharp.
Also in Germany, it’s finished Frankfurt 2-2 Hannover, Leverkusen 4-0 Hamburg, Freiburg 1-0 Köln, Hoffenheim 1-4 Gladbach and Werder Bremen 0-0 Mainz.
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You have to say this is magnificent:
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Valencia continues to make hay down the Aston Villa left, and picks out Fellaini with a delicate chipped cross. The big Belgian swings his head at it, it bounces into the turf and is tipped over. Back in the good old days, that would have flown in off a divot.
GOAL! West Brom 1-3 QPR (Anichebe)
Uh oh. The visitors haven’t really looked in trouble, but that doesn’t stop them conceding as Victor Anichebe heads home a nifty Berahino cross.
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Charlie Austin volleys at Myhill as QPR chase a fourth (!) at West Brom. United are chasing a second against Aston Villa, in a game that’s been played at a glacial pace in the second half.
In Scotland, two quick goals mean it’s Inverness 1-1 Dundee, and in the Championship, where the big boys hang out, it’s Hibernian 0-1 Queen of the South.
QPR are defending a three-goal lead away from home, so we may find out...
RED CARD! David Meyler sent off for Hull
Just as Hull get back in the game, David Meyler crunches into Kyle Naughton, catching the ball but using what Andre Marriner considered to be excessive force. It’s a straight red, Naughton will have to go off, and Steve Bruce’s face is somewhere between puce and burgundy.
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Aston Villa have a rare chance at Old Trafford, but Christian Benteke stabs the ball over from ten yards out. Should have done better.
Here are your Serie A full-time scores:
Atalanta 1 Torino 2
Cagliari 1 Lazio 3
Genoa 1 Udinese 1
Inter Milan 1 Parma 1
Palermo 1 AC Milan 2
Sassuolo 1 Chievo 0
Verona 3 Cesena 3
GOAL! Swansea 2-1 Hull (McShane)
Hull back in the game in Swansea, as McShane tucks Alex Bruce’s header past Fabianski after an old-fashioned penalty box melee.
Back underway at Old Trafford, where United continue to use the full width of the pitch, but Brad Guzan is under the latest looping cross delivered by Valencia.
Peter Knäbel has had better first days, you’d hope - he’s the new Hamburg manager, and his team are 4-0 down at Leverkusen. Wolfsburg lead 2-1 at home to Stuttgart, and Gladbach now lead 4-1 at Hoffenheim as the Bundesliga Champions League race hots up.
Here’s a half-time missive from Rob Marriott:
“Naylor’s right, playing surfaces have got a lot better. And, er, that’s a good thing? Really? Who doesn’t like watching games played in a mudbath? I’ve no time for this modern obsession with everything being neat and precise, as if chaos is something to be resisted, as if we should all cuddle up happily with the warm predictability of today’s football. Say NO to manicured pitches, say YES to bringing back the glory days of the Baseball Ground swamp.”
Just for the passion displayed, Rob, here’s a picture of the pitch at Hillsborough today. I’m sure you’ll like it.
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Half-time scores
Premier League
Everton 1-0 Southampton
Leicester 1-1 West Ham
Manchester United 1-0 Aston Villa
Swansea 2-0 Hull
West Brom 0-3 QPR
Championship
Bolton 0-1 Blackpool
Leeds 0-0 Blackburn
Reading 1-0 Cardiff
Sheffield Wednesday 0-0 Huddersfield
Scottish Premiership
Aberdeen 0-0 Partick
Dundee United 1-1 Ross County
Hamilton 1-0 St Johnstone
Inverness 0-0 Dundee
Kilmarnock 1-1 Motherwell
Quite the game over in Verona, where Cesena have bounced back from 3-0 down on 70 minutes to level at 3-3. Typical Serie A bore draw, then.
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GOAL! Manchester United 1-0 Aston Villa (Herrera)
Blind picks out Ander Herrera with a low cross, and the Spanish midfielder sweeps the ball into the far corner. Despite a stuttering first half from United, that was coming.
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GOAL! West Brom 0-3 QPR (Zamora)
Coupons torn to smithereens by events at the Hawthorns, as Bobby Zamora picks his spot and lobs Boaz Myhill from twenty yards. I’m not making this up.
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Brown Ideye has a chance to reduce the arrears at the Hawthorns, but Robert Green saves after the Nigerian deflects Chris Brunt’s effort from distance. No such excitement at Old Trafford, as Daley Blind ends a period of possession with a low shot that Brad Guzan saves easily.
GOAL! Swansea 2-0 Hull (Gomis)
Hull, six points above QPR, are two down as Bafetimbi Gomis scores with an acrobatic overhead kick. Is there any other kind?
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GOAL! West Brom 0-2 QPR (Austin)
Hands up who saw this coming? Didn’t think so. Charlie Austin scrambles home at the far post, and West Brom have got problems.
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What’s better at Leicester – the playing surface, or the internet connectivity?
Leicester 1-1 West Ham (Kouyate)
West Ham have been knocking on the door since David Nugent’s missed penalty, and predictably enough, they find it open, with Kouyate controlling Aaron Cresswell’s through-ball and finishing tidily.
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Goalscorer Vargas is replaced by Niko Kranjcar after half an hour; either he’s injured, or Harry’s back in charge. Hard times continue for the Milan clubs, meanwhile - it’s now Palermo 1-1 Milan, and it’s still Inter 1-1 Parma.
Rooney sends an acrobatic effort wide of the far post, as it stays goalless at Old Trafford. Plenty of goals in Scotland, where it’s Dundee United 1-1 Ross County, Hamilton 1-0 St Johnstone and Kilmarnock 1-0 Motherwell.
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Sevilla look set to keep the heat on Atletico Madrid and Valencia in the La Liga Champions League chase - they lead Athletic 2-0, with Carlos Bacca getting the second.
Southampton are still pursuing a top-four finish too, though largely in vain - but James Ward-Prowse is a whisker away from an equaliser with a free kick.
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Kevin Porter asks:
“Don’t call it Macron or Reebok. Call it Middlebrook Stadium. We don’t HAVE to use otiose ephemeral sponsors’ names. Do we?”
When we don’t know better, we do, I’m afraid. At the traditionally named Old Trafford, Marcos Rojo wellies a long-range strike that Brad Guzan has to tip over the bar.
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Half-time in the Bundesliga, where second-placed Wolfsburg heaped pressure on Bayern by taking a 1-0 lead against bottom club Stuttgart... and then immediately conceded an equaliser. Come on, guys. It’s also Hoffenheim 1-3 Gladbach and Leverkusen 2-0 Hamburg.
GOAL! Swansea 1-0 Hull (Ki)
Ki sidefoots home the rebound after McGregor spills a firmly-struck speculator from Jonjo Shelvey. Not a great day for Hull so far.
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GOAL! Everton 1-0 Southampton (Jagielka)
Storming start in the Premier League, and no mistake. The third goal of the day is scored by Phil Jagielka, bundling home a Gareth Barry cross, thanks to the magnificent Goodison Park pitch.
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GOAL! West Brom 0-1 QPR (Vargas)
Eduardo Vargas gives QPR the lead at the Hawthorns! What on earth’s going on? Don’t these teams know they’re finished?
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Penalty to Leicester...
...taken by Nugent... and saved by Adrian! Oh, Leicester.
GOAL! Leicester 1-0 West Ham (Cambiasso)
Esteban Cambiasso gives the hosts the lead with a brilliant half-volleyed finish. They’re not down yet! Sort of.
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Constant pressure from the hosts at Old Trafford, where Clark has been involved again, blocking Ashley Young and Juan Mata efforts, as Villa line the edge of their own area.
In the Championship, Blackpool need to win every game, more or less, to survive. They’re off to a good start - it’s Bolton 0-1 Blackpool at the Reebok, I mean the Macron.
A few half-times from Serie A – it’s Palermo 0-1 AC Milan, Inter 1-1 Parma and Cagliari 0-1 Lazio. In Germany, Champions League chasers Borussia Moenchengladbach (let’s call them Gladbach) lead 2-1 at Hoffenheim, and Leverkusen lead struggling Hamburg 1-0.
Graziano Pellè is denied by an acrobatic Tim Howard save, but it remains 0-0 at Goodison Park. Not so in Reading, where reluctant reality TV star Pavel Pogrebnyak has given the hosts the lead against Cardiff.
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Leon Osman fires wide at Goodison, as Everton search for back-to-back home wins for the first time this season. And a big penalty shout at Old Trafford, as Wayne Rooney is held back by Ciaran Clark. It’s not given, and Rooney accepts it with good grace. Or charges after Roger East for the next minute. The referee is miles behind play though, and misses a less than friendly arm around Rooney’s neck from Clark...
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Peep(s)
Roger East does the honours at Old Trafford, where United start with a spell of possession, before Daley Blind underwhelms with an early cross in.
Doremus Schafer has cheekily suggested that internet connectivity may have improved more than playing surfaces. I don’t know, pitches used to be really bad.
Fifteen minutes until kick-off at an assortment of top-flight grounds, including Goodison Park, where Gary Naylor is stationed:
For shame
It’s finished Arsenal 4-1 Liverpool at the Emirates, meaning Arsenal are up to second. Barry Glendenning saw the whole thing.
Goals are flying in with uncharacteristic speed in Italy. Champions League chasers Lazio lead 1-0 at Cagliari, thanks to Miroslav Klose’s goal, Inter lead poor Parma 1-0, Verona lead Cesena 2-0, and it’s Atalanta 0-1 Torino, Genoa 1-0 Udinese and Sassuolo 1-0 Chievo. Golazooooo, or something.
Results are in, amigo
Some teams have already downed tools for the day, and will be enjoying a nice pub lunch while everyone else tires themselves out. In League One, the playoff picture has been given a considerable shake with Sheffield United beating Barnsley 2-0 at Oakwell, and MK Dons leapfrogging Swindon with a 3-0 win in Wiltshire.
In Serie A, Roma ended a four-month wait for a home win, beating Napoli 1-0. Roma are second in the table. Four months.
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And finally, from the Hawthorns and the King Power:
West Brom v QPR
West Brom: Myhill, Baird, McAuley, Lescott, Brunt, Sessegnon, Fletcher, Gardner, Morrison, Ideye, Berahino.
Subs: Wisdom, Olsson, Yacob, Anichebe, Pocognoli, Mulumbu, Rose.
QPR: Green, Isla, Onuoha, Caulker, Yun, Phillips, Barton, Sandro, Vargas, Austin, Zamora.
Subs: Hill, McCarthy, Kranjcar, Henry, Hoilett, Doughty, Sutherland.
Leicester v West Ham
Leicester: Schmeichel, De Laet, Huth, Morgan, Schlupp, James, Cambiasso, Nugent, Mahrez, Vardy, Ulloa.
Subs: Konchesky, Drinkwater, King, Albrighton, Wasilewski, Schwarzer, Kramaric.
West Ham: Adrian, Jenkinson, Collins, Reid, Cresswell, Song, Kouyate, Downing, Nolan, Noble, Sakho.
Subs: Jarvis, Nene, O’Brien, Demel, Amalfitano, Jaaskelainen, Cole.
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More team news from Old Trafford, and the Liberty Stadium:
Man Utd v Aston Villa
Man Utd: De Gea, Valencia, Jones, Rojo, Blind, Carrick, Mata,
Ander Herrera, Fellaini, Young, Rooney.
Subs: Da Silva, Di Maria, Falcao, Januzaj, Valdes, McNair, Pereira.
Aston Villa: Guzan, Hutton, Okore, Clark, Lowton, Delph, Sanchez, N’Zogbia, Weimann, Benteke, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Baker, Vlaar, Bacuna, Cole, Gil, Given, Grealish.
Swansea v Hull
Swansea: Fabianski, Naughton, Fernandez, Williams, Taylor, Ki,
Cork, Shelvey, Routledge, Gomis, Sigurdsson.
Subs: Amat, Emnes, Dyer, Nelson Oliveira, Grimes, Rangel, Tremmel.
Hull: McGregor, Dawson, Bruce, McShane, Elmohamady, Ramirez, Livermore, Meyler, Brady, N’Doye, Hernandez.
Subs: Rosenior, Chester, Diame, Sagbo, Harper, Aluko, Quinn.
Team news!
Beginning with Everton v Southampton, brought to you by lurid official club Twitter graphics. Romelu Lukaku is out with a hamstring injury, although given his agent’s big mouth, maybe that’s for the best.
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Niche protest of the day
A sign from Leicester City Supporters Club channels Alan Partridge in its plea for the club to keep Anthony Knockaert. The transfer window doesn’t open for three months, so there’s still time for a movement to build.
Into the second half at the Emirates, and Arsenal lead Liverpool 3-0, thanks to three goals in eight minutes at the end of the first half. That top four race was good while it lasted, wasn’t it? Follow the grubby denouement with Barry Glendenning.
Light reading
Team news is imminent, but until then, here’s a few highlights you may have missed:
- QPR’s Charlie Austin talks horses, bricklaying and Michael Owen’s massive house to Stuart James...
- James Riach surveys the damage at relegation-haunted Blackpool...
- ...and Wesley Sneijder makes a horribly ill-advised promotional offer.
Today’s 3pm kick-offs:
Premier League
Everton v Southampton
Leicester v West Ham
Manchester United v Aston Villa
Swansea v Hull
West Brom v QPR
Championship
Bolton v Blackpool
Leeds v Blackburn
Reading v Cardiff
Sheffield Wednesday v Huddersfield
Scottish Premiership
Aberdeen v Partick
Dundee United v Ross County
Hamilton v St Johnstone
Inverness v Dundee
Kilmarnock v Motherwell
Preamble
Welcome back to domestic affairs after Harry Kane week, in which the plucky Tottenham striker scored a really important goal for England, and became a national hero. Harry should watch out, though - in this game, there’s always someone ready to take your place.
Take Roberto Martínez. How we used to love him, held up as our own Pep Guardiola, despite a lack of any credible supporting evidence; but now, Everton have a points total that would make Dave Whelan blush, and everyone’s all gooey over Ronald Koeman, the latest dashing continental type to manfully keep a team in roughly the same place in the table.
Louis van Gaal was the league’s great curio, a man with a gilded CV vigorously reapplying the David Moyes handbook to his bewildered charges. Now United are upwardly mobile, we need a new mercurial manager to try and puzzle out. How about Tim Sherwood, who sends Aston Villa to Old Trafford today? No?
Leicester’s Nigel Pearson isn’t the first manager to strut into the top flight with his chest puffed out and unravel spectacularly, and he won’t be the last. West Ham’s Big Sam has been having ideas above his station for years now. The same goes for Steve Bruce, who has been affable in sportswear for the best part of a decade, and now finds Garry Monk stealing his routine.
And finally to West Brom v QPR and Chris Ramsey, a manager so helpless to effect change at listing Rangers, he may come to be remembered in the Premier League simply for wearing a hat. That used to be Tony Pulis’s thing, and he will want words.
You can see all today’s live scores here. There’s a reduced Football League programme, but never fear – there’s Sevilla v Athletic in Spain, Wolfsburg v Stuttgart in Germany and a bumper fixture list in Italy to keep a beady eye on.
