And with that, I’m going to sneak off into the deep, dark yonder. Thanks for everything. Bye!
SLUT! I’m not sure what slut means in Swedish, but I’m nevertheless happy to apply it to Mario Balotelli.
SLUT: Balotelli får skön revansch mot kritikerna - avgjorde mot Tottenham i stormötet på Anfield pic.twitter.com/7aPGKJF1FY
— Fotbollskanalen (@fotbollskanal) February 10, 2015
Final score: Liverpool 3-2 Tottenham
It’s all over at Anfield, and Mario Balotelli has done something good. Easy, but good.
Here’s Steve Harmison, football manager.
It may or may not cheer Villa fans that their side aren’t just moderately or averagely goal-shy, they are historically goal-shy.
11 - Only one team in top-flight history (Leicester 11 in 1977/78) have scored fewer goals after 25 games than Villa this term (12). Drought
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) February 10, 2015
Tackle of the day? The still pictures are a bit better than the video footage, given that he didn’t actually get hold of Dembele’s leg, but it’s a fine attempted rugby challenge all the same.
“Can someone please tell me what Paul Lambert has to do to get the sack?” wonders despairing Villa fan Jeremy Smith. He can do no more, surely. He is leaving no stone unturned in his quest for a P45, and yet it is not forthcoming. Sometimes it’s a cruel game.
GOAL! Liverpool 3-2 Tottenham (Balotelli, 83 mins)
Mario Balotelli has scored for Liverpool! He has! Lallana presented him with a near-unmissable chance, and he did indeed unmiss it! It was a low, hard ball across goal from the right, and the Italian prodded it in from four yards or so.
Updated
Middlesbrough are top of the Championship!
Boro have claimed their three free points at Blackpool, even if it was a little closer than expected, and Derby have grabbed a point at Bournemouth, and Boro thus leapfrog to the top of the table!
Comeback of the evening, and there have been a few, is surely claimed by Shrewsbury, who were 1-0 down at Carlisle after 92 and a half minutes, and 2-1 up after 93 and three quarters, which is how it ended.
And the final whistle has blown at Sunderland, where QPR have brought their 11-match away losing streak to a crashing end with a straightforward 2-0 win.
And the final whistle blows at the Emirates, where Arsenal have held on by the hair on their chinny chin chins to a 2-1 victory over Leicester, who seem to have played really excellently well.
The final whistle blows at Hull, who have beaten Aston Villa 2-0! There is at least one large “Lambert Out!” sign.
Updated
GOAL! Watford are 2-1 up at Brentford, Odion Ighalo with their second goal. He also scored their first, and has now bagged nine in his last six games.
Aston Villa nearly score! But then, obviously, don’t. It takes an excellent save from McGregor to stop a 30-yarder, and though he only palms the ball to Benteke he’s up smartly to turn the follow-up over the bar!
There can be no doubt about who tonight’s real history boy is:
7 - Joey Barton has become the first player in Premier League history to be booked in seven successive appearances. Rebel.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) February 10, 2015
QPR are five minutes’ stoppage time away from their first away point of the season! And their second! And also their third!
GOAL! Blackpool 1-2 Middlesbrough (Kike, 88 mins)
No, scrap that. Blackpool are going to lose. And if there’s no winner at Bournemouth, Middlesbrough will end the evening on top of the league!
GOAL! Blackpool 1-1 Middlesbrough! (Gibson og 85 mins)
Blackpool might not lose a game! Obviously they needed someone else to score for them, but still.
“I cannot see Aston Villa scoring whatsoever,” sniffs Phil Thompson, watching the Hull game for Sky. These are dark days indeed for the Villains.
A first match in charge for former England bowler Steve Harmison, Ashington’s new manager, has ended in glorious victory over Bishop Auckland.
FULL TIME: @ashington_fc 1 @bishopafc 0
— Ashington AFC (@ashington_fc) February 10, 2015
Updated
Jonathan Woodgate has scored for Middlesbrough! On the occasion of his first start of season! And that’s put his side a goal up at Blackpool, who are beyond abysmal and way off into self-parody territory.
Arsenal substitute a substitute, Aaron Ramsey limping off and Flamini replacing him.
Some clarification on the earlier Brentford refereeing stat:
@Simon_Burnton Sorry Simon, it's 5 red cards. The 11 pens is correct. And yes, some of them have been in our favour.
— TonyCross (@Lokster71) February 10, 2015
Another chance for Leicester! Kramaric is played through by Mahrez and, with Ospina advancing, attempts a chip but doesn’t get enough meat on it. Or something. Ospina plucks it out of the air.
GOAL! Liverpool 2-2 Tottenham (Dembele, 61 mins)
Eriksen’s free-kick is well saved by Mignolet but Kane is first to the rebound and his cross-shot is turned in by Dembele. Mignolet’s not very chuffed about it, insisting that Kane was offside when the free-kick was taken. It looks like he might have a point, but it was ever so close.
Updated
Comeback dept: Charlton have fought their way back from 0-2 down against Norwich and are now level-pegging at 2-2, and Luton, at home to York, have done precisely the same.
GOAL! Hull 2-0 Aston Villa (N'Doye, 74 mins)
Hull look to be heading threepointswards. This one comes from a cross from the right which is headed diagonally back across goal and N’Doye’s first effort from close range hits Guzan, but his follow-up hits the net!
Updated
Leroy Fer is receiving extended treatment. He doesn’t look in great pain, but he’s been there for a while and now they’re bringing on a stretcher.
Leicester hit the post! Mahrez it is with the shot, and they were but a few inches away from a most unlikely equaliser!
At Anfield, Lamela’s 20-yard shot is tipped over the bar by Mignolet, a very handsome save (to be fair he’d have looked a bit of a chump had he let it in, but it was a good-looking stop).
Robert Green is having a bit of a blinder at Sunderland, tipping an Alvarez shot wide when it seemed corner-bound.
GOAL! Liverpool 2-1 Tottenham (Gerrard, 53 mins)
Steven Gerrard scores said penalty, hitting to his right. Lloris goes the right way but can get no more than fingertips to it.
Updated
Liverpool have a penalty, Sturridge getting tripped by Danny Rose. Looks pretty clear-cut to me.
And at the top of the Championship, another of Derby’s loanees has scored for Derby, where thanks to Darren Bent they’re now all square at 2-2 with Bournemouth.
League One leaders Bristol City are 2-0 up at home to Port Vale and apparently three-points-bound.
This is a remarkable (if not double-checked) refereeing statistic. How many of those red cards and penalties have been in Brentford’s favour, though?
@Simon_Burnton Stroud's handed out 9 red cards & 11 pens in the last 9 Brentford games he's refereed. He's not popular in these parts.
— TonyCross (@Lokster71) February 10, 2015
GOAL! Arsenal 2-1 Leicester (Kramaric, 61 mins)
Leicester have been rapping on the door. They have a chance saved, and a follow-up effort cleared off the line, and then they score, eventually, from the resulting corner, Mahrez crossing from the right and, when it’s headed half-clear, Kramaric, beyond the far post, belting a bullet shot low into the goal.
Updated
More action at Brentford, where Watford have won a penalty – looks like they were given it, really, for a handball that only the referee saw – and missed it, Deeney sidefooting casually and Button holds it easily.
Meanwhile in Sunderland, QPR win a free-kick in perfect shooting territory, a couple of yards outside the penalty area, but Wright-Phillips smashes it into the wall.
Ooooh! Leicester continue to miss chances, James just failing to control a through-ball which would have put him totally clear, inside the penalty area.
In the Championship, 10-man Brentford have gone a goal up at home to Watford, Gray smashing the ball high past Gomes at the near post. Very stylish finish, that.
“Alexis Sanchez took a slight knock in the first half,” reports Edward Pacey. “With the top four utterly congested, what do you think is more valuable: resting important players or playing them to build up momentum?” Difficult balance to be struck, but if there’s any doubt over their fitness key players should be rested wherever possible. Second halves of apparently already-decided home games against relegation-haunted sides would seem like a reasonable opportunity for a little foot-up time.
Ipswich have equalised at home to Sheffield Wednesday, Daryl Murphy scoring with a delicious flicked header. 1-1.
“Perhaps Peter McMurray’s plastic curtain map was made in the days before Bournemouth sat proudly atop Division One. They used to be a right shower, I believe,” puns Justin Kavanagh.
“A ‘draw every fixture’ team would have been relegated in 2010-11 in the Premier League!” notes, well, someone who doesn’t adequately sign off their emails and should really sort that out if they want a mention in MBMs.
“More to the point,” asks Allan Castle, “what would such a team be called (along the lines of the Invincibles)? The Mediocrities? The Level-Peggers? The Drawers?” Um, the Invincibles?
And with barely time to draw breath, the 7.45pm kick-offs re-kick-off and we’re into half two!
In the Championship’s 8pm kick-off, it’s Bolton 1-1 Fulham, Eidur Gudjohnsen equalising for the home side.
“I’m glad Matt Done has scored. He sounds like a great guy. I feel a certain kinship with him,” notes Matt Dony.
“Reading Mr McMurry’s comment about his ‘world map’ shower curtain, I couldn’t help but nip to bathroom to check mine out,” writes John Archdeacon. “It has space for London, Dublin and … Norwich. All written in French.” Crikey. What’s French for Norwich?
“Imagine a team managed to draw every fixture for a entire season,” writes Gordon Burns. “It would be remarkable, of course. Would it be as exciting for fans as winning the title? I think maybe so.”
Interesting question, Gordon. I think it would be a bit dreary, but I do wonder what would happen if, having drawn their first 45/37 matches of the season, a team found themselves a goal up in the dying moments of their final fixture. Would they at least be tempted to knock in an own-goal?
It’s now half-time in all the 7.45pm kick-offs. In the Premier League, it’s Arsenal 2-0 Leicester, Sunderland 0-2 QPR and Hull 1-0 Aston Villa.
“Simon, I own a shower curtain which is a map of the world. Among English and Welsh cities it labels London, Manchester, Birmingham, Oxford, Cambridge, and … Bournemouth,” writes Peter McMurry. “And that’s it. Does that seem odd? As a Yank I’m not attuned to the nuances of British culture and history, but even if you leave off Liverpool due to space constraints (proximity to Manchester), wouldn’t it be better to include Leeds, Newcastle, Cardiff, etc? Is Bournemouth a major commercial center for shower curtain production?”
It does indeed seem odd. Oxford and Cambridge are also slightly leftfield selections – according to Wikipedia they’re the 45th and 49th biggest cities in the UK by population. I don’t know about Bournemouth-based shower-curtain production. Anyone?
GOAL! Sunderland 0-2 QPR (Zamora, 45+1 mins)
And then QPR run down the other end and, from another Phillips cross, they extend their lead! It bounces behind Zamora, but he somehow wraps a foot around it and diverts the ball into the near corner. Super finishing!
Updated
Oooooooooooh! Sunderland will never come closer to a goal without actually scoring one! It’s a bullet header from close range that Green brilliantly pushes onto his bar, and it bounces down onto the goal-line, and Green spins round and catches it. The technology it says no.
Back to the Championship, where Bournemouth are ahead once again, now 2-1 up at home to Derby. Callum Wilson with it.
GOAL! Liverpool 1-1 Tottenham (Kane, 26 mins)
Lamela, I think, gets the assist here, and Kane’s low shot from the edge of the area flies off the keeper and into the back of the net.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Leicester (Walcott, 41 mins)
A stinging long-range shot from Ozil is pushed away by Schwarzer and Walcott pokes it first-time into the corner from 14 yards or so. That was a vicious shot from Ozil, but it wasn’t exactly heading for the corner.
Updated
Watford, who when they last played a key away fixture in the league – at Bournemouth – had to play almost the entire game with 10 men (and lost), will get to play most of this one against 10 men, after Brentford’s Jake Bidwell got sent off for a foul on Layún.
The boy Done good, etc and so forth: Matt Done has scored on his debut to put Sheffield United 2-0 up at home to Colchester.
Oooooh! At Hull, Westwood misses the target by a foot with a 20-yard free-kick.
Joe Pigott is the player they’re referring to, incidentally, and Cheltenham the pig-sick side.
2-0!!!! FEED THE PIG!
— Southend United (@SUFCRootsHall) February 10, 2015
At Liverpool, for the second time this evening a Spurs player, in his infinite wisdom, plays Sturridge clear on goal. This time Dier gets back in time to dive in front of the shot and deflect it over.
Tom Ince, fresh from two goals on his Derby debut at the weekend, is back on the scoresheet at Bournemouth, where it’s 1-1.
31: GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLL (1-1) #AFCBvDCFC pic.twitter.com/RFiqJw017F
— Derby County (@dcfcofficial) February 10, 2015
GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Tottenham (Markovic, 15 mins)
Another goal from a goal kick, Sturridge trying to take the ball down, miscontrolling and accidentally passing to Markovic, who carries towards the edge of the area before shooting left-footed across goal and into the corner. Liverpool have had a chance-heavy opening quarter-hour.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Leicester (Koscielny, 28 mins)
That’s another simple goal, though well taken. It’s a corner from the right, and Koscielny makes a run from far post to near and meets the ball as it drops to the ground and rifles it along the turf and in at the near post.
Updated
We’ve spoken (or I have, at least) about teams with names beginning with a B, but it’s a decent evening for players so blessed as well – Balint Bajner has just scored for Notts County!
He runs all the way down the touchline to celebrate with the Hungarians! It had to be him! Balint Bajner! NO BAJNER NO PARTY! 1-0 NOTTS!
— Notts County FC (@Official_NCFC) February 10, 2015
GOAL! Hull 1-0 Aston Villa (Jelavic, 22 mins)
N’Doye controls a goal kick, turns and slides the ball to Jelavic, whose left-foot shot takes a massive deflection off Clark and loops into the net. They may have been unlucky with that deflection, but that is a hideous goal to concede. Filthy.
Updated
Poor Charlton, whose fans last saw their side win more than three months ago – three whole months! – are losing again, to Norwich. Howson scored it, calmly passing into the back of the net from the edge of the area.
At Hull, where it looks a bit rainy, Huddlestone shanks a long-range shot well wide, and also well high. It may be a night of wayward shooting there.
GOAL! Sunderland 0-1 QPR (Fer, 17 mins)
QPR are winning an away game! It’s a lovely cross from Phillips on the right, and Fer scores with a splendid back-post header!
Updated
Oooooh! A great chance of Arsenal, as Sanchez plays in Walcott, whose shot hits Schwarzer in the face. Should have done better, the lad.
Talking of all systems go, Oldham certainly seem to have hit the ground running, being as they are 2-1 up against Swindon after just 11 minutes.
They’ve kicked off at Anfield, and presumably at the other 8pm starts, so we are now all systems go go go.
Leicester have missed another chance at Arsenal, Cambiasso playing Mahrez through on the left with a nice chipped pass, and the winger shooting from an acute angle across goal and wide.
Is Eriksen showing off his silky skills here, or has someone smacked him in the head with a stray shot? We’ll probably never know.
Bournemouth have gone 1-0 up in the Championship’s key game, this moments after Sky informed viewers that Derby had started much the better.
Updated
Chesterfield’s Sam Hird is the proud owner of the night’s first red card, which came just three minutes into their home game with Preston. First goal comes from Barnsley, Peter Ramage with it. Or, to give him his full name, Ramage!!!!!!!!!
Goal Ramage!!!!!!!!
— Barnsley FC (@bfc_official) February 10, 2015
Joey Barton watches a speculative 40-yarder fly over the bar. It’s his second shot of the first five minutes, the other having been deflected wide.
Leicester have a shot! From Mahrez, and it’s deflected narrowly wide for a corner, from which they have another shot! Which is blocked.
It’s 7.46! We’ve already missed kick-off! That’s the last thing you’ll miss, honest. You’re safe with me.
As for QPR’s “dream manager”, Allan Castle’s got an idea: “Sir Alex Ferguson. Odds on. Just to cement his legend.”
Hmm. Unlikely, but more likely than this, surely. Surely?
@Simon_Burnton The new QPR manager is surely Avram Grant. *looks deeper into crystal ball*
— STOKECITY USA (@josher71) February 10, 2015
Teams are out across the land, and I can see a couple of huddles being had. Kick-off is imminent!
“Many years ago when I worked for BT, someone who worked on telephone directories (teenagers – ask your dad) told me that in England and Wales more people’s surnames began with B than any other letter,” writes Timothy Beecroft. Interesting, I never knew. “In Scotland it was, of course, M.”
Jake Horsfield has got the pixellated poser right.
@Simon_Burnton definitely the emirates
— jake horsfield (@JakeForcefield) February 10, 2015
Three pretty good top-flight fixtures tonight, with two between sides at the bottom, and fifth-placed Spurs visiting seventh-placed Liverpool. Leicester’s visit to Arsenal should be less closely-contested, but then it’s a funny old game etc and so forth. Hull v Aston Villa strikes me as one for the purists, but still ever so intriguing.
Pixellated poser
Here’s a question for you, readers, with nothing but some minor bragging rights up for grabs. Here’s a picture taken this very evening outside a football stadium. Readers, name the stadium.
It’s a big night in the Championship, with Bournemouth hosting Derby in a massive top-of-the-table clash and fourth-placed Brentford hosting sixth-placed Watford, who would overtake them with a win. Third-place Middlesbrough are in Blackpool to collect their free three points, while Ipswich in fifth host Sheffield Wednesday. All tasty stuff.
QPR make six changes for their first match post-Redknapp, with Rio Ferdinand making his first start of 2015. As far as his successor goes, much attention has been focused on this intriguing Tony Fernandes tweet from a couple of hours ago:
Think I have got my dream manager. Not what anyone thinks. Take a while. Still a bit to go but I'm very happy. Press all wrong.
— Tony Fernandes (@tonyfernandes) February 10, 2015
Hmmmmmmm, dream manager, eh? Is it Cherie Lunghi?
So Arsenal bring back Alexis Sánchez following a hamstring strain. Theo Walcott and Tomas Rosicky also come into the side as Danny Welbeck, Olivier Giroud and Aaron Ramsey all drop to the bench after the 2-1 defeat at Tottenham.
Leicester manager Nigel Pearson, who remains in charge despite reports of his dismissal late on Sunday night, hands a first start to deadline-day signing Robert Huth, the defender having completed his two-match ban. Former Gunners defender Matthew Upson faces his old club while Croatian Andrej Kramaric leeds the attack.
Get your Premier League team news here!
Arsenal: Ospina, Bellerin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Rosicky, Walcott, Cazorla, Ozil, Sanchez. Subs: Szczesny, Gibbs, Gabriel, Giroud, Ramsey, Flamini, Welbeck.
Leicester: Schwarzer, James, Upson, Morgan, Huth, Konchesky, Simpson, Mahrez, Cambiasso, Schlupp, Kramaric. Subs: Drinkwater, King, Albrighton, Hamer, Ulloa, Wasilewski, Nugent.
Referee: Mike Jones.
Hull: McGregor, Dawson, Bruce, McShane, Elmohamady, Livermore, Huddlestone, Meyler, Brady, Jelavic, N’Doye. Subs: Davies, Hernandez, Harper, Aluko, Ramirez, Robertson, Quinn.
Aston Villa: Guzan, Hutton, Okore, Clark, Cissokho, Gil, Westwood, Delph, Sinclair, Agbonlahor, Weimann. Subs: Vlaar, Bacuna, Cleverley, Cole, Benteke, Sanchez, Given.
Referee: Michael Oliver.
Liverpool: Mignolet, Can, Skrtel, Sakho, Markovic, Henderson, Gerrard, Moreno, Ibe, Coutinho, Sturridge. Subs: Johnson, Lovren, Lambert, Lallana, Allen, Balotelli, Ward.
Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Walker, Dier, Vertonghen, Rose, Bentaleb, Mason, Lamela, Eriksen, Dembele, Kane. Subs: Paulinho, Soldado, Vorm, Townsend, Fazio, Chadli, Davies.
Referee: Phil Dowd.
Sunderland: Pantilimon, Reveillere, Vergini, O’Shea, Van Aanholt, Bridcutt, Johnson, Larsson, Gomez, Wickham, Defoe. Subs: Brown, Fletcher, Graham, Alvarez, Coates, Mannone, Agnew.
QPR: Green, Isla, Caulker, Ferdinand, Yun, Henry, Barton, Phillips, Fer, Kranjcar, Zamora. Subs: Traore, Hill, Wright-Phillips, McCarthy, Taarabt, Zarate, Doughty.
Referee: Martin Atkinson.
Updated
Hello world!
So without further ado, I offer you tonight’s fixtures in the English league of football! You may notice that, in the Championship, Birmingham, Blackburn, Blackpool, Bolton, Bournemouth and Brentford are all at home, surely – or at the very least quite possibly – the finest collection of match-hosting single-initial-letter fixtures in the entire history of the game (it’s up to you, readers, to disprove that). If only Brighton were hosting Cardiff rather than being hosted by them, it would be sheer perfection (B-erfection). Even so, fully 72.7% of tonight’s Championship fixtures will be hosted by teams whose names start either with a B or with a C, while in League One there are three Bs at home and four Cs (with again just one team, Colchester, letting the side down), giving them a comparable figure of 58.33%. B-sides make up 13.04% of the league, but 25.64% of tonight’s home teams.
Astonishing scenes, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll be telling my grandchildren about today, in the admittedly unlikely event of them asking when I have felt most proud of possessing a name that begins with B.
Premier League
Arsenal v Leicester (7.45)
Hull v Aston Villa (7.45)
Liverpool v Tottenham Hotspur (8.00)
Sunderland v QPR (7.45)
Championship
Birmingham v Millwall (7.45)
Blackburn v Rotherham (7.45)
Blackpool v Middlesbrough (7.45)
Bolton v Fulham (8.00)
Bournemouth v Derby (7.45)
Brentford v Watford (7.45)
Cardiff v Brighton (7.45)
Charlton v Norwich (7.45)
Huddersfield v Wolverhampton (7.45)
Ipswich v Sheff Wed (7.45)
Reading v Leeds (8.00)
League of One
Barnsley v Fleetwood Town (7.45)
Bradford v Milton Keynes Dons (7.45)
Bristol City v Port Vale (7.45)
Chesterfield v Preston (7.45)
Coventry v Scunthorpe (7.45)
Crawley Town v Doncaster (7.45)
Crewe v Yeovil (7.45)
Leyton Orient v Notts County (7.45)
Oldham v Swindon (7.45)
Peterborough v Gillingham (7.45)
Sheff Utd v Colchester (7.45)
Walsall v Rochdale (7.45)
League of Two
Accrington Stanley v Oxford Utd (7.45)
Burton Albion v AFC Wimbledon (7.45)
Carlisle v Shrewsbury (7.45)
Dag & Red v Portsmouth (7.45)
Exeter v Cambridge Utd (7.45)
Hartlepool v Northampton (7.45)
Luton v York (7.45)
Morecambe v Mansfield (7.45)
Newport County v Tranmere (7.45)
Southend v Cheltenham (7.45)
Stevenage v Bury (7.45)
Wycombe v Plymouth (7.45)
