Finally, some honesty. Since 1973, Carlsberg has advertised itself with the slogan: “Probably the best beer in the world”, which is something of a stretch. But, as of now, things have changed. Carlsberg has revamped its entire product, from packaging to flavour, and it has an apology to make. In a new advert, Carlsberg calls itself: “Probably not the best beer in the world”, adding: “Somewhere along the line, we lost our way. We focused on brewing quantity, not quality. We became one of the cheapest, not the best.” This is a radical brand strategy, and one that others are sure to replicate. So here are 20 honest advertising slogans for other brands. Corporate marketing departments: you are welcome.
Tesco
Every little is slightly cheaper at Aldi
McDonald’s
I’m hungover
Frosties
They’re f-f-f-fine
Mastercard
There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s Mastercard. Or, alternatively, money
Red Bull
Kit Kat
Remember the concept of breaks? Us neither
L’Oréal
Because you’re a helpless puppet of the patriarchy
Skittles
Taste the rainbow and accidentally tear out your fillings
Guinness
Good things come to those with pretentious beer affectations
Nike
Just buy them with good intentions and then exclusively use them to walk to the shops
BT
It’s good to talk, but easier to WhatsApp
Chicken Tonight
I feel like not cooking a proper dinner
Premier Inn
Everything’s premier for people who have no working understanding of the word “Premier”
Rice Krispies
Snap! Crackle! Pop! Flop! Mush! Disappointment!
Ronseal
Does exactly what it says on the tin, by which we mean it contains potassium tripolyphosphate, sodium hydroxide and benzisothiazol and would absolutely induce vomiting if you accidentally ingested it
Audi
Vorsprung zum friseure
Maybelline
She definitely wasn’t born with it because what sort of circus clown is born with a full face of makeup?
Sainsbury’s
Live adequately for about the same as everywhere else
Coca-Cola
Taste the feeling of your enamel dissolving
Amazon
Screw you, high streets
