It’s been a difficult time for BBC programming: The Voice went to ITV, the salvage-yard version of Top Gear was poorly received and now The Great British Bake Off has been lost to Channel 4. The BBC appears to have retained GBBO presenters Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins, but the format and the bunting went to the highest bidder. The success of the transplant is by no means certain.
The loss of GBBO raises questions about the corporation’s ability to retain and exploit its greatest successes in the long term, but there is a more pressing issue: how does the BBC replace its most popular programme, while hanging on to some portion of the Bake Off’s devoted audience? Here are just few suggestions for reheating the format:
Bakers’ Dozen
Mel and Sue return with a new series pitting 13 bakers against one another in what is definitely not a tent, but more of an inflatable shed, known as Great Cakes Headquarters (GCHQ). In each programme, bakers will face three challenges: the Trial of Self-knowledge, the Artisanal Struggle and the Overblown, Failed Masterpiece. The main difference between this programme and any other unnamed televised baking competition is that in this one, if you cut yourself, you’re out. Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry are still on hand to judge proceedings, although for complex legal reasons they must stay suspended overhead in a tethered hot-air balloon.
Masterchef: The Amateurs, Who Bake
This very slight twist on the time-honoured Masterchef formula starts off with 12 amateur cooks from around the nation who are prepared to take baking to the next level. Gregg Wallace and former Bake Off winner Nadiya Hussain provide the good cop/bad cop judging, while Mel and Sue remain in the kitchen to actively sabotage contestants’ efforts – adding unwanted ingredients, swapping recipe pages, turning off ovens, etc. Baking does not get tougher than this; certainly not on Channel 4.
Top Bake
Contestants will be whisking around the world in more ways than one in this flashy, over-the-top baking competition. Would-be champion bakers travel to the Andes to experience making cakes at high altitude (less baking powder, hotter oven, or else), make hash brownies in a country where marijuana is legal, and take turns trying to produce the perfect baked alaska in Alaska. Top Bake also features reviews of new cookery equipment and a regular celebrity segment called Star With a Reasonably Edible Victoria Sponge.
The Eurovision Baking Contest
This format makes generous use of footage from the various European Great British Bake Off spinoffs currently on air, including Italy’s popular Dolci al Forno (Sweets in the Oven) and Romania’s Coc Bine Sau Devin Divorțat (Bake Well or Become Divorced). In the grand final, six contestants from across the continent will compete to become Europe’s most proficient baker, winning a year’s residency at a top London patisserie (pending changes to free-movement legislation).
Bakers Island
Imagine being marooned on a remote desert island without electricity, food, shelter or a reliable source of drinking water. Now imagine having to produce two dozen perfect petit fours for Mel and Sue, who are sailing over for tea on Tuesday. That leaves barely enough time to whittle a rolling pin. Ray Mears drops by to show the survivors how to work with marzipan during a monsoon.
