Preamble: Hello there. It's last sixteen time in the Uefa Cup and Everton are trying to continue their run of 67 straight association football victories tonight at Fiorentina. The Italians couldn't be more confident. "I am worried. This is a real team who will make us suffer a lot. We will be against one of the best teams in Europe," overstates Fiorentina coach Cesare Prandelli. "I am very curious to see how we fare. This game is going to be very difficult." That sounds like fighting talk to me.
The Opponents: Fiorentina are Italy's Everton, to use a piece of lazy journalistic shorthand not for the last time tonight. They may not have the stars but they are sitting fourth (I know Everton are fifth but you get the point) in Serie A, fighting off European specialists AC Milan for the final Champions League place. And at the weekend they won 3-2 at third place Juventus, impressive stuff. And in more startling analysis, The Guardian's Barney Ronay says that Fiorentina aren't just a football team but the name of a pizza with an egg on. That is years in sports journalism paying off handsomely right there people.
It's not just Everton: Spurs and Bolton are also puffing their chests out and flying the flag of St George tonight. So, if you want to follow the adventures of glory, glory Tottenham Hotspur then you can join Pizza Express's Barney Ronay here. If you want to follow Bolton then this is the place for you. Arf, and indeed arf.
The teams: Fiorentina: Frey, Ujfalusi, Gamberini, Dainelli, Pasqual, Kuzmanovic, Donadel, Montolivo, Jorgensen, Vieri, Osvaldo. Subs: Avramov, Kroldrup, Potenza, Gobbi, Santana, Pazzini, Cacia.
Everton: Howard, Hibbert, Yobo, Jagielka, Lescott, Osman, Neville, Carsley, Pienaar, Cahill, Yakubu. Subs: Wessels, Baines, Arteta, Johnson, Gravesen, Anichebe, Gosling.
Referee: Paul Allaerts (Belgium)
Romantic windy night alert: It is wet and windy over in Florence tonight. Similar to Arthur Conan Doyle's description of bleakest Dartmoor in Hound of the Baskervilles, with Phil Neville taking lead role of Sherlock Holmes I imagine.
"Isn't Fiorentina usually spinach ... I think Barney is thinking of Capricciosa," writes Peter Badcock. It's spinach and egg Peter, do your homework.
And we're off: This is windy stuff. It would be termed a great leveller, but the teams are quite evenly matched so there's not much to level really. "Hi Josh," says Joanna Epstein. Hi, Joanna. "Just because Gary Megson says that the Wigan game is more important doesn't mean that we loyal GU readers aren't interested in minute-by-minute coverage of their loss today. Is this another example of your anti-relegation bound Northern club led by a ginger bias? I thought so." Guilty as charged Joanna, though Everton do tick two of those three boxes so cut us some slack.
2 min: Fiorentina being nice and tight around the Everton box and Jagielka's clearance cannons off Carsley and straight into the hands of Tim Howard. that could have been embarrassing.
5 min: Osvaldo gets free down the left and whips it across the box but it is too close to Howard and he claims the low ball.
7 min: Everton looking a bit shaky here. Fiorentina are playing some nice passing football and Yakubu is squandering possession for all he's worth.
8 min: Osvaldo finds more space on the left and gets it in to Osvaldo to flick to Vieri on the edge of the box. But he screws the shot wide poorly. Past it? At the other end Yakubu almost gets free but his control lets him down again.
11 min: free-kick from 30-yards out to Fiorentina. Vieri scuffs it very, very wide. Oh dear, oh dear. "Is that Glenn Frey and Carlos Santana in the Fiorentina squad? If the match is dull, at least we might get some AOR to while away the evening," writes Gary Naylor. And it is one of the jazz duo the Neville brothers as well Gary.
14 min: Another ball in from the left from Osvaldo and Pasqual gets up and heads into the safe-ish hands of Tim Howard. Everton are going to have to do something about that flank.
17 min: Moyes is patrolling the touchline livid at something and it's all gone scrappy on the pitch, maybe it's that.
19 min: This ref is as whistle-happy as an early 90s raver listening to The Shamen in a muddy field in Hampshire. It isn't helping what is a stop, start, up-and-under game.
21 min: Slick move down the right from Fiorentina, Ujfalusi and Kuzmanovic linking up and getting the ball into the box. Howard comes out and punches clear. Much better from the Italians, they are a much more effective side when they get the ball on the floor.
23 min: Pasqual gets more space down the left but the ball in again finds Howard, the only Everton player that seems to be comfortable receiving the ball. Fiorentina are looking dangerous.
25 min: Lescott puts in a wonderful ball from the left and, with Osman charging in, Pasqual (who has been excellent up the other end too) heads bravely clear.
28 min: "How should a team play a first leg away from home?" Asks Gary Naylor. "0-1 is an excellent result, 1-1 is pretty good, so shouldn't they attack? With Yakubu in one of his hot spells, Everton should be aiming to score tonight." I'd agree, but at the moment they are struggling to put anything together Gary.
31 min: Carsley slides in on Kuzmanovic, free-kick to Fiorentina about 25-yards out. Pasqual stands over it in a threatening manner but that's about all he can do, sending it straight into the wall.
34 min: Everton haven't offered much here so far and it is a reflection on Fiorentina's lack of cutting edge that there has barely been a proper chance so far.
36 min: The ball is played back to Frey, it's a little short and the surprisingly hard-working Yakubu chases it down. But the Yak is just a bit too slow and catches Frey rather than the ball. For some reason it's considered a booking, really? A poor decision.
38 min: The ball is lifted into Jorgenson, who cuts it back Pasqual on the corner of the box. He charges in and slams the ball left-footed high and wide. Vieri, who was in a good position six yards out, gives him a piece of his mind, and quite right too. Best chance of the game so far.
41 min: Ujfalusi and Pienaar are booked for an incident that I have to admit I didn't see. And no replay, how unprofessional. If it is any consolation I was reading your emails at the time. It's not? Fair enough.
42 min: The ball is worked through to Vieri by Osvaldo, taking Jagielka out of the game with a wonderful flick and putting the lumbering forward one-on-one. But he strikes the shot straight at Howard who manages to deflect it wide. A bad miss.
44 min: Cahill puts the ball in the net. He is a kilometre offside. He and everyone in the stadium knew it. The game continues apace.
45+1 min: Everton just want to get back in the dressing room, not just because it looks freezing out there. They have been wretched.
Half-time: And that is the end of that, 45 minutes of end-to-end mayhem. Suffice to say David Moyes will be seething, if not a little relieved at the scoreline.
A couple of half-time emails: Saga Arpino settles the pizza debate: "http://www.waitrose.com/recipe/Pizza_Fiorentina.aspx because these things matter ... "
Meanwhile, Pete Gunnin has bigger things on his mind: "Why oh why does Moyes persist with Hibbert at right back when Neville is much better - and come to think of why does he play Lescott out of position on the left - he's a much better centre half than Jagielka. They will come unstuck here me thinks." I think you are right Pete, is that worth anything to you? Thought not.
We're off again: No changes. Except ends of course.
46 min: Corner to Everton. Osman chips it in Jagielka tries a very low header. And misses the ball.
48 min: Montolivo has a pop from 25-yards or so and Howard parries it uncomfortably around the post as the ball dips and swerves.
49 min: Yobo misses a header and it falls to Vieri who takes it past Hibbert and hangs it up to the far post but there is no one there and Jagielka heads it behind. The corner is wasted of course.
51 min: Corners wasted from both sides. Everton are still surrendering possession at will here. Substitutes must be in the offing.
53 min: Yakubu chases a flicked header from Cahill into the corner and works the ball back to Osman, in space on the edge of the box. His shot however is scuffed and straight at a defender.
55 min: Everton substitution, Arteta for Osman. No surprise there.
57 min: Dainelli scuffs a volleyed clearance and Yakubu breaks beyond him down the right, but he is brought down by the defender. Arteta whips the free-kick into the box but it is punched clear by Frey. Then up the other end Vieri makes space for him but shoots straight at Howard from point-blank range. The ball comes back out to Kuzmanovic who shoots straight at Howard again. Exciting stuff all of a sudden.
59 min: Howard is booked for time wasting, he's been pushing his luck with those goal-kicks all night.
62 min: Andy Johnston is warming up. No sign of Fiorentina's substitutes yet though. A free-kick to Everton on the right is whipped in by Arteta but it is an easy headed clearance for Kuzmanovic.
65 min: Vieri is off, to be replaced by Pazzini. "I must note that the Neville Brothers are considerably more than a duo and something other than a jazz ensemble, but I appreciate your Herculean efforts, sir," corrects Jeff Bateman. I'll admit their back catalogue is an area I am a bit foggy on, so I'll accept your point Jeff.
Goal! Fiorentina 1-0 Everton (Kuzmanovic 69) Everton defending desperately on the edge of their box and Fiorentina work the ball out to Kuzmanovic on the right side of the penalty area. He charges in and smashes it past Howard on his near post, for once this evening it is well hit. Deserved on the balance of play? Yes. Will it wake Everton up? We'll see.
73 min: Johnson is on, and it is for Hibbert. Brave stuff. Meanwhile, Santana is on for Osvaldo for Fiorentina.
75 min: It's all change here. Gobbi is on for the goalscorer Kuzmanovic.
77 min: Gobbi knocks it in from the left and Pazzini is free around the penalty spot but he swings his foot at it and slices it badly. I don't think he realised how much space he was in. That was a good chance.
78 min: Arteta opts for the backheeled pass on the edge of his own area and gives the ball to Jorgensen but his ball in is headed clear by Jagielka as Everton hang on. They'd take 1-0 now.
Goal! Fiorentina 2-0 Everton (Montolivo 81) They won't get to though. The ball is driven i to the box from Santana and Jorgensen gets there first on the corner of the six yard box and flicks it up and back to Montolivo who volleys it superbly past Howard. Two great finishes in a night of scuffs and Everton are in real trouble.
84 min: What are Everton going to do here? Settle for 2-0? They have been really, really bad and they cannot complain about the way it has gone to be honest.
86 min: And it could have been all over. Santana gets in around the back of the Everton defence and bears down on Howard. He opts to bend it around the keeper with the outside of his right boot and the ball goes just outside the post by a matter of inches. Everton are in pieces.
88 min: Yakubu attempts to thread the ball through to the overlapping Lescott but it is overhit. That just about sums up their night, apart from the fact it contained some positive and ambitious football.
90 min: There will be four extra minutes for Everton to hang on. Or even score. Maybe.
90+2 min: One final needless booking anyone? Cobbi obliges, clashing in the air with Carsley and getting booked for no apparent reason. The free kick is floated straight into the hands of Frey by Arteta.
Peep peep peeeeeep! It's all over and Fiorentina have deservedly claimed a good lead for the second leg. Everton never got going, a shadow of the team that has been fighting for fourth in the Premier League. It was pretty dire but Fiorentina just about deserved it once they had decided to stop scuffing their shots embarrassingly. Cheers for all the emails, see you soon.
