There are some journalistic assignments that make you feel more than a little dirty. And last week's event at the National Army Museum showing off the latest military hardware was one of them.
Don't get me wrong. I'm no pacifist - there are some situations around the world that are intractable without the threat or the use of outside force (the conflicts in the former Yugoslavia, for example). Solving those problems effectively means having hi-tech kit.
But what I hate about these events is their gung ho, shoot-em-up tone. This is set against a bizarre, euphemistic language that does a very poor job of hiding a rather large elephant in the room: "we sell new and improved ways of killing people."
Who makes up these euphemisms and how do they live with themselves? Last week I added "improved lethality" to the more familiar phrases "collateral damage" and "friendly fire". And once the defence manufacturers' self-promoting speeches were over, the person introducing the event gleefully encouraged us all to get out there and "play with the toys".
The names of those "toys" tap into the macho theme. There is a remote-controlled robot for defusing bombs called "Talon", and its successor that can be fitted with various weapons called "SWORDS" (Special Weapons Observation Reconnaissance Direct-action System). Or how about the "Enforcer" remote-controlled weapon system and "Hydra" networked surveillance. There was also the "Guardian" improvised explosive device inhibitor - nothing to do with your favourite newspaper, I can assure you. Plus the "Wavehawk", "Osprey", "Battlehawk" - I could go on ...
In addition to this willy-waving lexicon, there is a maze of unintelligible acronyms that make Gray's Anatomy sound like Janet and John. A quick tour of the press material yielded this lot.
FIZ - Fire Inhibit Zones
STA - Surveillance Target Acquisition
LRF - Laser Range Finder
CLV - Command and Liaison Vehicle
BMS - Battlefield Management Systems
SSR - Soldier System Radio
PRR - Personal Role Radio
VIPRR - Vehicle Integrated Personal Role Radio
EOD - Explosive Ordnance Disposal
IED - Improvised Explosive Device
C4I - Command, Control, Communications, Computers and Intelligence
Scientists get a bad press for speaking in jargon, but these military types really take the biscuit.
