Well I know it happens every year but I said to Mummy, it never gets any easier, she’s like, just do it darling, it’s time, I’m like but everything might change, she’s like, did you ask Dave? I’m like, that is the problem, every day I’m like, tights or no tights, he’ll go, well what are people saying, I’m like, what do YOU think, he’s like, bare legs, absolutely. I’m like actually I was thinking tights, he’s like, totally, I’m like, so which, my car’s outside, he’s like, well my heart says no tights but my head says tights – sockettes? Now, babes, quick one, about the refugees, basically we are not taking any is that right?
I’m like, well FGS make your mind up it is hardly any sleeps until LFW & I am SO not ready. Dave’s like, well first my head was like no way José, then my heart was like, still, massive win for Yvette, but now my head is like, wait up dude, Corbyn will be here any minute, thank you God – I’m like, so, 20,000, say I made you? Dave’s like, OK, Strasbourg, do I go or not? I’m like, srsly whevs, my heart – correction, head slash heart – says can I please, for five minutes, get back to building what will soon be the world’s biggest luxury lifestyle brand?
Mummy’s like, well before you do anything please stop Vogue sucking up to ghastly Sturgeon – SIX pages! – Willie is devastated, honestly, why do they not just come out & say this season it is all about the Mugabe-style land grab? I’m like, IKR, totes inappropes, Mugabe style has not been a thing since at least Spring/Summer 14, but do not forget Vogue did Mrs Assad & obvs it was not because Anna would suck up to a vicious amoral butcher IRL! Mummy’s like, are you SURE? I’m like, & just because GQ gave Oik a prize – literally you have never seen anyone so thrilled to meet David Gandy #bless – it does not mean they care about the boring old centre ground. She’s like, actually I am sure they adore it, everyone does now we know George means people like us – before you go back to your drones darling, where does one find divine Help to Buy?
