For those lingering/reliving/basking, here is Jamie’s on-the-whistle report:
Excellent from City, execrable from Feyenoord. Would things have been different had Vilhena not messed up so badly in the second minute? Maybe, but probably not. City were on a different plane there, the home team simply looked cowed and fearful throughout, offering virtually nothing all game. Job done, and City will face much better opponents in Europe this season, but they are purring nicely into gear and look an intimidating proposition.
Liverpool 2-2 Sevilla and Spurs 3-1 Dortmund, by the way. And, of more interest to City and Feyenoord, Shakhtar 2-1 Napoli.
We go again in two weeks. Bye for now, and thanks for all your emails and tweets!
Full-time: Feyenoord 0-4 Manchester City
Never in doubt. By which I genuinely do mean never in doubt.
90+1 min: Two added minutes to contest, if that’s ever really been an appropriate word tonight.
90 min: St Juste gets Bernardo Silva with what sees at first to be a high foot but is actually a follow-through lower down. No need for a second booking.
4-0 and City coast convincingly carefree...
— jamie jackson (@JamieJackson___) September 13, 2017
Alliteration from our man in Rotterdam. Not the worst game for a tight evening deadline, this.
87 min: More keep-ball results eventually in a De Bruyne pass, a Mendy criss, a Jones fumble but little further danger.
84 min: Fine block by St Juste on Sane, who is played through by Bernardo Silva and tries to shoot across Jones, with Sterling screaming for it in the middle. One corner becomes two, and from the second De Bruyne’s daisycutter is blocked too.
81 min: Nothing is really happening on the pitch. It’s just consummate from City, with Feyenoord largely chasing shadows. Everyone is playing out time.
78 min: Amrabat goes off, applauds the home fans and is applauded warmly in return. The crowd do deserve credit for keeping on keeping on. Sam Larsson, in only his second game for the club, comes on.
76 min: Boetius wins a free-kick from Sterling a yard outside the City box. They couldn’t get one back ... could they? Nope. Toornstra balloons it well over the top.
74 min: Kevin De Bruyne has taken the armband now, by the way. What a start to the season he is having; he gets better and better. He plays Sterling through down the right now but it’s perhaps a little overhit and the substitute flashes his cross beyond goal.
72 min: Feyenoord bring on 18-year-old local lad Dylan Vente for the thankless Kramer.
71 min: Yes, here’s Sane for Fernandinho. City have so much pace and power these days!
70 min: It’s the City fans in good voice now with their Glad All Over effort. Leroy Sane will be coming on soon.
Updated
@NickAmes82 How's the atmosphere? I'm stuck in a Bosnian hotel with only #ItaliaSerbia (basketball) or even worse #LIVSEV to watch on TV
— Gavin Hudson (@gavhudson) September 13, 2017
Had Feyenoord made a game of this, the atmosphere would have been absolutely spectacular. As it is, fair play to the home crowd, they’ve given it a shot this half despite their team’s non-performance.
67 min: Botteghin is booked for a thoroughly useless foul on Jesus down the right. David Silva comes off now, and on comes Fabian Delph.
65 min: De Bruyne goes right to left and Sterling is waiting at the back post. He brings it down with his chest and Jones saves smartly enough at the near post. City had lulled but the tempo is up again now. From the corner, Jones clears unconvincingly and then gathers when Otamendi drills a low effort back in.
Goal! Feyenoord 0-4 Manchester City (Stones 63)
Another for Stones! And a cleaner one this time. It’s another short corner from the left and, come on, when are Feyenoord going to learn about these? This time De Bruyne whips the ball in after it’s returned to him and Stones, six yards and with barely a finger laid on him, rises to thud a header into the roof of the net. All so, so easy.
Updated
@NickAmes82 vampire names: Vampeta which actually means 'devil vampire'. Looked like a vampire as well with his little moustache.
— AJ Carlos (@moxcarlitos) September 13, 2017
The winner.
@NickAmes82 Just once, I'd love to read an MBM or match report that doesn't refer to Manchester City's spending. Just the once.
— Don Langford (@Donnellk) September 13, 2017
Someone else started it! But look, context is important. It doesn’t belittle the fact that they’re going to be one heck of a team to watch this season. I love them with Walker and Mendy down those flanks.
60 min: Shakhtar 2-0 Napoli in the other game, which makes you wonder whether City are in for a procession to top spot. Spurs now lead Dortmund 3-1 at Wembley, Harry Kane with two left-footers. We interrupt this results service to tell you that Sterling is replacing Aguero.
58 min: After those little flurries, City are popping the ball around well again. I think Raheem Sterling will come on soon, which isn’t really much respite.
56 min: Boetius wins a corner on the left, but Toornstra overhits it. Shame. Even at 3-0, the home fans have shown a huge appetite to get back behind their team but there was nothing to cheer there.
53 min: I think this half will probably be a tapering-down for City, who play Watford at the weekend and probably quite fancy keeping themselves fresh. It will probably help Feyenoord look a touch livelier but I can’t really see the next 40 minutes counting for a lot.
51 min: Kramer now scampers down the right but his attempt to play Amrabat in reckons without Stones, who recovers smoothly to win that race and come away with the ball.
49 min: Toornstra goes on a bit of a run down the left and sets up a situation around the edge of the City box, which is eventually defended. That’s a great improvement though, already.
Sergio Aguero only five goals away (yes?) from equalling Eric Brook's all-time goal scoring record for Manchester City in all competitions. https://t.co/7HxJorqaMk
— Philippe Auclair (@PhilippeAuclair) September 13, 2017
Stat.
46 min: The hosts have made a change by the way. Berghuis – who was actually relatively lively, though it’s very relative indeed – has gone off and been replaced by Toornstra. A disastrous back three has morphed into a back four.
Updated
Peeeep! The second half is underway!
Will Feyenoord give us something? Anything? One goal could ... avert the inevitable for a little while.
And Watford supporter @mattrowson mentioned Valon Behrami in the same vein: https://t.co/5mGDHKcVvr pic.twitter.com/kLQLjQ0g6g
— Doremus Schafer (@DoremusSchafer) September 13, 2017
And go on again, because it’s important to stress that this kind of frippery repeats itself across the site.
@NickAmes82 Vampire footballers: I reckon Dragos Grigore (Romania and Al-Sailiya) has got a reasonably vampiric name.
— Doremus Schafer (@DoremusSchafer) September 13, 2017
Go on then.
On the third goal, it wasn’t deflected from Mendy – it was just a poor parry from Jones, who was perhaps unsighted and thus wrong-footed.
From Ciaran Burke: “Feyenoord fans having nothing to complain about - they could complain that their club has fought back from bankruptcy in the last few years while City have racked up £535m accumulated losses in the last few years by buying up Europe’s most coveted manager and a string of top players. Just a thought.”
Yes, my MBM has failed thus far to reference the fact that football in Europe is rotten to the core. Something we must fight hard against being normalised to.
Half-time: Feyenoord 0-3 Manchester City
Painfully soft opening goal from Stones, clinical second from Aguero, simple third from Jesus, and we can’t really say this isn’t entirely reflective of the score. City may as well be on a different pitch – let’s be honest.
45 min: Feyenoord win a corner though, after a move where Berghuis nutmegs Mendy. That made the crowd smile! The flag kick comes to zero in the end, which makes them frown.
44 min: Whistles, now, as a Feyenoord attack ends up back with their own ‘keeper, Jones. This is very limp from them.
43 min: We’re not going to need the second half, really. I predict 4-0 and perhaps a Feyenoord red card.
41 min: They’ve lost it here, Feyenoord. Vilhena follows briskly in the footsteps of his colleagues with a wild crunch on De Bruyne. Now he’s booked too and the last two minutes have just been stupid from him and his team.
40 min: And now Kramer does something similar, with an utterly needless hack at Fernandinho. I’ve seen red cards given for those, he went in with two feet and essentially scissored into him. Yellow card.
39 min: St Juste is booked for a rather petulant, frustrated kick at Jesus and concedes a left-sided free-kick. It’s a delicious delivery from De Bruyne that bounces up and Jones has to repel with his body, but somebody is offside. Jesus I think.
38 min: Liverpool have turned it round to be 2-1 up, Salah has just scored. As things stand English clubs will be – yuck – five for five!
37 min: You’re not missing a lot, it’s just City possession, although Walker almost manages to squeeze the ball across again after a lightning dash. Mendy and Walker make a huge difference to City – huge. Make no mistake about that.
34 min: Feyenoord are still barely able to touch the ball. They’re just being absolutely killed. Boetius does, at least, earn applause for robbing Aguero down by the byline – but there’s a problem with that as Boetius is meant to be a forward himself, and lumps the ball upfield to nobody.
31 min: Could have been four, Aguero squeezing a De Bruyne centre – again from the right – ever so slightly wide at the near post.
30 min: Nights like this, when the crowd are so patently up for it and ready to whip up a storm, are always a real shame when they fall so flat so quickly. It’s a letdown. But the home fans can’t complain about anything.
28 min: This could honestly be any score if City – and Feyenoord for that matter – carry on like this although I expect they’ll slow it down soon enough now they have the cushion.
Goal! Feyenoord 0-3 Manchester City (Jesus 25)
Errrr ... that was a bit odd, but it’s game over now. The corner is cleared out to Mendy, who drills towards goal from 25 yards at the second attempt. I think it’s deflected a bit and Jones can only half-save. Everyone stops because Otamendi, in front of goal, is about two yards offside. Jesus, also in front of goal, is definitely not offside though and has the simplest, most unopposed of tap-ins while the others all wait. And City lead by three. This is a rout.
Updated
24 min: City are getting tonnes of space on the right and De Bruyne is the latest to have some joy, slipping in David Silva, who wins a corner before ...
23 min: David Silva bursts into the box now but Jones is out very sharply to gather at his feet some 15 yards out.
21 min: Close from Feyenoord! Much better as the striker, Kramer, is fed by Boetius and has a clear sight of goal on the left of the area. He lets fly and it clips off Ederson ... into the side netting. Some of the home crowd think it’s in, but it’s not and the corner comes to nothing. Better though.
Dear @UEFA do you think this is an acceptable way to treat people who've paid 60€ to watch a match (that we can barely see)? #ManCity pic.twitter.com/ewBOL1SYT7
— Kevin Cummins (@KCMANC) September 13, 2017
The away end, ladies and gentlemen.
19 min: Bernardo Silva finds Aguero, faced with only one man, who takes it just a little too far left for a good angle but still manages to snaffle away a shot, which Jones parries. City keep up the pressure but Jones takes a subsequent cross at the second attempt.
17 min: Elsewhere in the group, Shakhtar Donetsk lead Napoli at home, perhaps a touch surprisingly. Spurs are now 2-1 up over Dortmund by the way.
15 min: Yellow card for De Bruyne for going right through Vilhena. Nasty, maybe not helped by the surface though.
15 min: I’m receiving a few vampiric footballers from you, as requested. Events having overtaken us a little, I’ll try and share them at half time ...
13 min: A bit of determination from Berghuis there, surging towards the area, but De Bruyne gets back and blocks well. First real flicker from Feyenoord and it may already be too late.
13 min: Stones’ goal, timed at 95 seconds, was City’s quickest-ever in Europe. At this rate there will be other records broken. Can Feyenoord get any kind of grip on this before they’re totally blown away?
Goal! Feyenoord 0-2 Manchester City (Aguero 10)
They’re running away with it! So simple, so clinical. Walker overlaps at high speed down the right, whips in a wonderful low cross and Aguero, swiping across the ball brilliantly, flashes it into the far corner. Was that the kind of goal City might not have been able to score last season?
Updated
9 min: David Silva is a bit generous in trying to slip Jesus in when he could probably shoot. Amrabat is in to snuff out the danger. Feyenoord just haven’t been remotely involved yet – or at least not in any good way.
7 min: Not too far off being two! Bernardo Silva bends a cross over from the right and Jesus is up well to loop a header of his own towards that same back post. It’s dropping in until Botteghin, arriving in the nick of time, leaps like a salmon to head it out from under the bar.
6 min: How will Feyenoord respond on and off the pitch? It was absolutely throbbing in there before kick-off. Now it’s near-silent and their team can barely get a touch at the moment.
5 min: Tottenham are winning against Dortmund and Sevilla winning at Liverpool. The goals are flying in tonight!
Goal! Feyenoord 0-1 Man City (Stones 2)
Well that might silence them! What a horrible, horrible goal to concede though. The corner is played short to David Silva, who chips one across and Stones is up to win the header. It’s directed well, towards the back post, but Vilhena is doing his job there and is perfectly positioned to clear. He doesn’t! The ball squirms awkwardly, awfully, through his legs and slips into the net in slow motion. Charitably you’d say it must be quite wet; in reality that’s a terrible mistake. City are ahead before we’ve really started.
Updated
2 min: City are being whistled at very loudly whenever they’re on the ball, which will be a common occurence. Jesus wins an early corner off El Ahmadi down the left and ...
Peeeeeep!
Yer referee, Mr Marciniak, gets us underway with the whistle. And Feyenoord, going left to right in the Rotterdam rain, do likewise with the ball.
How could I forget – Feyenoord captain Karim El Ahmadi is one of numerous players who have failed at Aston Villa in the past half-decade. He’s doing well at Feyenoord. It’s almost as if the problem at Villa was rather bigger.
The players are out on the pitch now, by the way, and trilling along to the Champions League anthem. There are flares. The atmosphere is HOT.
“If I were reading a novel which featured a dashingly handsome footballer who hasn’t seemed to age a day in two decades called Giovanni van Bronckhurst, I’d assume right away that he’s an undying vampire count,” writes Kari Tulinius. “I’m also pretty sure Zinedine Zidane is a wizard.”
Any more vampiric footballers or managers?
Guardiola on ... whether City are favourites! “It’s your job to say who is the favourites so we try to play to do our best.”
On Ederson: “It’s OK, in the end he was lucky but I think with a helmet he can play.”
Matt Loten sends us his take on City. Their defence isn’t up to the job, he says:
“Whilst I think that De Bruyne, the Silva Brothers, Jesus and Aguero are as talented an attacking lineup as has graced the Premier League, until Pep comes to his senses and instills some semblance of order and tactical cohesion in his defenders I don’t expect City to get much further than the quarters. Whilst his Barcelona side were prone to the odd lapse in concentration at the back, the fact remains that Dani Alves, Carles Puyol and Gerard Pique were phenomenal players, capable of organising themselves and putting their bodies on the line.
“John Stones is not Gerard Pique, Kyle Walker is not Dani Alves, and Nicolas Otamendi is, let’s face it, not quite Carles Puyol. Even the brilliance of Vincent Kompany is not enough to engender confidence that City won’t suffer in the same manner that they did against Monaco last season when they face a genuinely top-class opponent. Specialist defenders may be a dying breed, but Real Madrid, Juventus and Bayern have shown that brilliant attacking prowess need not come at the expense of defensive competency.”
Jamal Mascott writes: “All the way from Barbados, just want to let you know that I am so grateful for the coverage, I’m here at work and can’t watch Manchester City win tonight, but I have my City Scarf on my desk, wish I could have worn my jersey to work. Come on City!”
Thanks Jamal, and all the best to everyone over there after the frightening situation of recent days.
Don’t forget Feyenoord beat Manchester United at home in the Europa League last season – although they were taken to school rather at Old Trafford. City should be warned by that first one though, surely ...
Van Bronckhorst has done such a fine job at Feyenoord and if I didn’t know better I’d say he’s making a good pitch to be a successor to his old boss, Arsène Wenger, if and when the latter ever retires. Here’s a nice piece from Ed Aarons, a few months ago, which tells us just how he’s done it:
Other MBMs are available:
You are allowed more than one.
Do email tonight, by the way. We can chat. Are City contenders? Should they see themselves as contenders? How good are 1970 European Cup winner Feyenoord?
Ederson starts for City, then, completing that miraculous recovery from his face’s awful meeting with Sadio Mane’s boot. Quite a front-loaded lineup from City there, Bernardo Silva in from the start for Danilo in what looks a very attacking swap.
Feyenoord include ex-Liverpool man Brad Jones and ex-Watford man Steven Berghuis. The Ambrabat you see before you is Sofyan, brother of current Watford (well, on loan at Leganes) man Nordin. They have a big miss tonight in the form of key striker Nicolai Jorgensen, who is injured.
Teams
Feyenoord: Jones; St Juste, Botteghin, Van der Heijden, Nelom; Amrabat, El Ahmadi, Vilhena; Berghuis, Kramer, Boetius. Subs: Bijlow, Diks, Geertruida, Tapia, Toornstra, Larsson, Vente.
Man City: Ederson, Walker, Stones, Otamendi, Mendy, Fernandinho, De Bruyne, Bernardo, Silva, Jesus, Aguero. Subs: Bravo, Danilo, Sterling, Gundogan, Mangala, Delph, Sane.
Updated
Hello
Here we go, then. Manchester City, who are definitely not contenders at all for a competition that it would be daft to imagine them winning and will be lucky to get away scot free against a well-aged European behemoth tonight, kick off their Champions League campaign.
Disclaimer: the above aren’t my actual thoughts, they’re a hilarious pastiche of the protestations Pep Guardiola makes when he thinks people are getting that little bit too puffed up about City’s chances of winning this competition – as per Jamie’s piece below. Guardiola has been at it before: he talked similarly after they outclassed Barcelona last season, and while the humility is admirable and it does no harm to reference City’s place as relative arrivistes, you wonder whether at some point it might become self-fulfilling. Monaco were brilliant last season, but City should probably not have been knocked out by them.
This time around, whatever Guardiola (not “Pep” unless you know him, please) protests, City have to be seen as one of the few teams that can genuinely challenge Real Madrid. Look at that expenditure, but look at the areas of the team they’ve improved – depth in attack, depth in attacking midfield, the flying full-backs they needed. So the pressure from on high is definitely going to be there: Guardiola will know that and want to play it down, as the seasons of failure can’t keep racking up – but City may as well embrace their role as one of the four or five favourites.
They need a good start, mind, and it might not be straightforward in a usually lively De Kuip. Feyenoord won their first Dutch title in 19 years last season, overseen by the excellent Giovanni van Bronckhorst, and will pose a test even if they are short of what you might term “household names”. Expect them to come out of the traps flying; expect City to win in the end, too, but it should be more entertaining than much of last night’s fare and tell us a little about what might lie ahead. Don’t go away!
Nick will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s Jamie Jackson’s pre-match scene-setter:
