Prudent Paschal Shoddy Shinners
Prudent Paschal prevailed over Paschal “the Rascal” in the end.
Paschal’s renowned reputation as the sensible politician in the room won over the punters on Postergate.
They knew the Dublin Central TD wasn’t another dodgy Del Boy chancer we have sadly become used to seeing in the Dail over the decades.
But it was the Shoddy Shinners who might end up being the biggest losers after this latest political storm is tossed in the dustbin - alongside all those old election posters.
That’s because by the end of the week they had become entangled in their own messy election expenses that, on the face of it, looked very similar to what they had been dragging Minister for Public Expenditure Paschal over the coals for.
You could say the whole thing blew up in their faces.
The Shinners seemed to have missed doing due diligence on one of the most basic tenets of attack politics, don’t throw stones in glasshouses.
The Royal Irish Academy (RIA) should have been the ones most peed off with this whole debacle after they got stiffed by Sinn Féin for room hire fees.
They let out the Grand Library for the afternoon that day to SF for the launch of its 2016 election campaign featuring then leader Gerry Adams, his future successor Mary Lou McDonald and finance man Pearse Doherty - but the €600 invoice was not paid.
Their election launch was held with the great and good of the Anglo-Irish ascendency of years gone by staring down at the Republicans from the many portraits that adorned the walls.
It always struck me as odd that the Sinn Féin back office booked the ‘Royal’ venue for the election launch in 2016. The RIA - near Leinster House - was founded in 1785 by the Earl of Charlemont for the promotion of science, literature and debate.
But it does chime with their united Ireland approach, in that the RIA is an independent, all-island learned society.
Aside from this, you’ve got to remember, Sinn Féin are the richest party in the country, with donations flowing in both North and South, East and West.
They get donations from the estates of British citizens running into millions, they collect dollars, pounds, euros, probably even some shekels - the first known form of currency - from our diaspora all over the world.
And then there’s the mighty fundraisers where the cash rolls in when you have Mary Lou as a guest speaker Stateside or Down Under.
It’s a bit like the Long Fella, Eamon de Valera, when he was sent to the US to scrape funds together for an infant Irish State 100 years ago.
He came back with bags of Benjamin Franklins - as the $100 is known due to the founding father’s face on the note - from his endeavours.
Everything is above board, but different rules in different jurisdictions means Sinn Féin can pocket a lot of cash to help with their political aims.
And this just makes it all the more bizarre that they shafted the RIA out of a couple of hundred euro.
They’ve paid it back now of course. Sinn Fein - along with every other political party from this “scandal” on - will have to keep their election expenses details clinically clean.
Canada Dry
They say that drinking in moderation is not bad for you - but what about drinking in minimisation?
That’s what the Canadians are now recommending, just one pint a week or not at all.
We thought we were the world leader in public health nanny state-ism. But the Canadians have out-done us.
The mad advice has come from the Canadian Centre for Substance Use and Addiction, which recommends we should limit our alcohol intake to just two units a week - just the one pint. They say they’d prefer if people knocked the gargle on the head altogether. What a crowd of dry-arses.
Independent TD Michael Healy Rae doesn’t drink - but he does own a pub and so can empathise with the drinking class.
He spoke some reason on Thursday when he told the Mirror that it was ridiculous to tell people to cut their tipples back to one measly drink.
He told us the story about a pal of his who lived to 108, with one of the secrets to his longevity being a healthy glass of whiskey every night.
Evidence shows there are protective health benefits to moderate drinking, which is generally accepted to be a drink or two a day. And what about the Catholic catechism of temperance - the moral virtue of moderation and balance of life’s pleasures?
Compare the Canadian advice to that of the Japanese government who actually launched a campaign last year to encourage young people to drink more because the tax take was suffering.
All together now: “I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so.”
Bon Appetit Mark Killelea
A poll from Duolingo this week claimed over half of people are afraid to order a croissant because they can’t pronounce the word.
It found 56% feel embarrassed to order the delicious pastry as a result. The learning app says the most common pronunciations include “kwason” “qwakson” and “crosssont”.
You’d have to wonder how some people manage to leave the house in the morning - let alone converse in a foreign language - if such trivialities overwhelm them.
But it reminded me of that old anecdote about one of our politicians who was not afraid to tackle the Gallic tongue.
Mark Killelea was a veteran Fianna Fáiler, a Senator, TD, junior minister and MEP in Brussels for 12 years.
It was in Brussels where the gregarious Galwayman gave us the classic pub tale. The story goes that Markeen, as he was affectionately known, came down to breakfast one morning during his early days in the Belgian capital with not a word of “La Belle Langue”.
He was greeted by a sophisticated MEP who politely wished him ‘Bon Appetit.’ on his way into the dining room.
In response, he extended his own hand civilly for a handshake, saying: ‘Mark Killilea’ - presumably to Monsieur Appetit.
Quote of the Week
“I knew a good friend of mine that died just last year, in 2022, and he had a good big large glass of whiskey every night, and he told me that was better than any tablets in keeping him healthy.” Rebel TD Michael Healy Rae disses Canadian advice to cut back the gargle to one drink a week.
