The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
Eddie Pepitone had this routine about auditioning for a laundry commercial where the casting agent said he should improvise. And the horror of the dark things he improvised in this hypothetical audition were so funny, I literally screamed with laughter.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
I was telling a story about how we had a pan toilet growing up and Dad had got into a fight with the dunny man (the man who came and emptied our toilet once a week). Dad yelled out from the audience that the details were wrong, so I let him tell it.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
A dog dragging his butt glands along the grass.
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …
I used to own a pair of anklet socks that wrapped around my ankle, like a ballet dancer’s ribbon. Mum saw one in isolation and thought it was a codpiece my boyfriend at the time was using for sex play.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
When I was nine I was certain that an undercut would turn my social standing in primary school around. It did not.
The funniest dream I’ve ever had …
I was so bored of the dream I was in, I sat on a bed in the dream and waited to wake up.
The funniest word …
Kummerspeck. The weight that you gain from emotional comfort/grief eating.
Felicity Ward: Busting a Nut is at Bromsgrove, Saturday 3; Maidenhead, Friday 9 November; touring to 22 December
