The Sunday Telegraph took us back yesterday to the 1950s, to that era when newspapers seemed unable to overcome a pre-war deference they failed to recognise as being in terminal decline.
However, in seeking to turn back the clock, the Telegraph clearly remains in cap-doffing mode, as exemplified by its fatuous report yesterday on “the society wedding of the year”.
Even that phrase, society wedding, is redolent of a distant past. But there was a great deal more eyebrow-lifting nonsense in its article, “Royal guests are icing on the cake as heiress ties the knot at abbey”.
Aside from the two clichés in that headline, note the reference to the bride, Alexandra Knatchbull, as an “heiress”. It is meaningless. She stands to inherit nothing in particular, given that her elder brother is the heir apparent.
This should not matter, except for the fact that it was in the Telegraph, which we might have expected to be punctilious about such aristocratic concerns.
Even so, that was less surprising than the way in which the event at Romsey Abbey was reported, reminding me of those local newspaper wedding reports that are full of irrelevant details.
Prince Charles, we learned, was “dressed in a grey three-piece suit.” Well, I never.
Less surprising was the description of the bride’s dress - white satin finished with lace embroidery, since you ask - and the Queen’s outfit (a peach floral dress emblazoned with a gold brooch and matching hat).
But did readers need to know that the Princess Royal “made her way into the service”... in “a lilac outfit similar in style to the one her mother was wearing”?
Some of Miss Knatchbull’s antecedents got a mention. For example, that she is the the great-granddaughter of Lord Mountbatten and the god-daughter of the late Diana, Princess of Wales.
Oddly, the Telegraph didn’t relate that she is also a great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Queen Victoria and a third cousin twice removed of the Queen, and therefore in the line of succession to the British throne.
Hence the congregation being “filled with members of the British and foreign aristocracy”, including Queen Sophia of Spain and the former King Constantine II and Queen Anne-Marie of Greece.
I felt for the poor writer assigned to the uneviable task of filling space about this routine wedding. His difficulty in finding anything remotely interesting was clear also from this revelation:
“Following the service, the newly weds left the abbey followed by three young flower girls wearing pink dresses and holding bouquets of flowers.”
Top hats off to him though, because he did manage to sneak in one little gem about the bride’s parents:
“Entering the abbey before the royal family, Lord and Lady Brabourne were seen linking arms as they walked into the service, a sign of unity following the public disclosures about his affair with businesswoman Jeannie McWeeny.”
And yes, there was a bridegroom, although Thomas Hooper merited a mention only at the foot of the article. He is, you may wish to know, “a director of teacher-entrepreneurial partnership Third Space Learning.”
