For most people, running 26.2 miles is quite hard enough. For others, doing the London Marathon this Sunday in anything less than full body armour, backwards, carrying a household appliance – and then doing it again in the other direction – is for wimps. Or at any rate, won’t land you in the Guinness Book of Records – and, less flippantly, wouldn’t raise nearly as much money for charity. This year’s race will see attempts at no fewer than 58 records, from the fastest runner in a scout uniform to the quickest caveman. Here are some of the oddest endeavours:
The fastest marathon dressed as a gingerbread man
Run! Run! As fast as you can! Away from the fact that every single spectator spread over 26 miles of London streets is going to be shouting the exact same ditty at you. Never mind the costume, anyone who manages to endure hours of this without losing the plot, jumping the barriers and screaming: “No, you can’t sodding catch me, I’m off to the pub!” deserves that place in the record books. And if anyone can do it, it’s Richard Kell, who will be running his 110th marathon. I suppose you’ve got to keep the interest somehow ...
Fastest marathon dressed as a 3D dinosaur
Running solely in two dimensions would surely be much more of a challenge. However, Ian Bates, a bus engineer from Crawley, West Sussex, will be running (prowling?) in a self-made costume weighing 20kg. He attempted this valiant feat last year, but was scuppered by Jeff Goldblum and a bunch of kids – wait, no, sorry, a heavier costume and a foot injury – but has roared back with the lighter “MK2 Dino”.
Fastest marathon run by a parent and four children
Adding to one’s family in pursuit of a world record is a brave step, and shows admirable long-term planning. Mark Midgley, a father of no fewer than seven, is attempting this title with four of his kids. Raising the question of what the other three are up to.
Fastest marathon dressed as a crustacean
To call a lobster head-to-head “hotly contested” just seems cruel. Put aside the boiling water and champagne puns, and take your pick between Simon Couchman or Greg Trevelyan. Keen form-followers should note that both are seasoned costume runners – Simon already has the world record for a marathon in an astronaut suit (poor old Tim Peake, who is running the marathon while in space, doesn’t stand a chance) and Greg ran last year as Olaf from Frozen. Rumour has it that a man in a steak costume is planning to surf’n’turf them off the leaderboard, though.
Fastest marathon dressed as a tap (male)
Months of training must have gone into Ian Rule’s attempt to break the current record for the fastest tap. Most of which probably consisted of endurance training: repeatedly enduring recordings of people shouting: “Look! That tap is running!” “Stop the tap running!” “Don’t be a drip!” and other tap-based humour.
And one that will be very hard to beat
Paul Martelletti ran London last year dressed as Spider-Man in 2hr 29min and 59sec. Then again, for him, that was taking it easy – his best time is 2hr 16min 49sec, he has run for Team GB and he had won the Manchester marathon the weekend before. So, really, the very least he should have done was scale a few buildings en route.
