Fashion quiz: which hat are you?

Annotated-quiz-collage — Clockwise from top left: a – baker boy; b – beret; c – sou’wester; d – bucket hat; e – baseball cap. Photographs: Rex/Shutterstock; Getty; Shoji Fujii

Your Twitter bio currently reads:
1. Brrrrap !! ! No haters. <<<DM me for mixtape>>> #Grime4Corbyn
  Add a point in A
2. @Shygirl123 hasn’t tweeted yet
  Add a point in B
3. #Brexit
  Add a point in C
4. Romancière, bloggeuse lifestyle, fille réfléchie
  Add a point in D
5. Caffeine addict. Give me all the cheese! Gin obsessive
  Add a point in E
Your drink of choice is:
1. Warm milk
  Add a point in B
2. Pouilly-Fumé, three Vogues
  Add a point in D
3. Cosmo
  Add a point in E
4. Whatever you’ve got
  Add a point in A
5. A jerrycan of cider
  Add a point in C
Your wardrobe mainly consists of:
1. Four navy boiler suits. Mole Valley or Dior AW17, you’re not fussed as long as it’s machine washable
  Add a point in C
2. Unethical high street clothing
  Add a point in E
3. Three Adidas Firebirds, Vetements x Reebok Instapumps, jacket from Christopher Shannon, a lot of other stuff by graduate designers no one else has heard of
  Add a point in A
4. Three Maje dresses, an organic tee and the most darling Vintage faux fur from a Brittany market. Nine mirrors
  Add a point in D
5. Toast. A Margaret Howell investment jacket. Ideally a large black cape to wear it all under
  Add a point in B
You spend your weekends:
1. With the gals!
  Add a point in E
2. Indoors
  Add a point in B
3. Outdoors
  Add a point in C
4. Producing unspeakably good beats
  Add a point in A
5. On the Eurostar
  Add a point in D
Your boyfriend is:
1. Your gal pals!
  Add a point in E
2. Handy with a length of rope and some shears
  Add a point in C
3. One of four
  Add a point in D
4. Non-binary
  Add a point in A
5. Nonexistent
  Add a point in B
Your greatest regret is:
1. Leaving your mid-1990s Moschino jacket at Kev’s flat after you broke up
  Add a point in A
2. Voting leave
  Add a point in C
3. A fringe
  Add a point in D
4. Not taking your horoscope seriously
  Add a point in E
5. Where do I start?
  Add a point in B

Buckets

Mostly As: Baseball cap
You’ve probably been wearing a baseball cap all your life, it’s just that mainstream fashion (and this season, Vetements, Balenciaga, H&M and Topshop) have caught up. And, yes, you voted for Corbyn.
Mostly Bs: Lampshade
Hats are terrifying! Fashion is terrifying! We know! That’s why the Jacquemus lampshade is the hat for you. Think of it as less a hat and more a shield for your entire being.
Mostly Cs: Sou’wester
You are clearly a fisherman or a farmer, in which case you want something practical – and this Loewe all-weather hat is perfect for shearing/netting in a storm or high winds. Expecting to suffer under the EU subsidy cuts since you voted leave? No matter. Topshop have something not dissimilar.
Mostly Ds: Beret
So, you think you’re interesting, do you? Great – the Dior leather beret is perfect. It’s wearable, yet makes you look cooler than you actually are. Come on! You’re not Bonnie – you’re a blogger.
Mostly Es: Baker boy
Not a hat person, are you? That’s OK. Baker boy hats – a favourite of Miu Miu, everywhere-model Kaia Gerber, and the working class in the early 20th century – are super easy to wear. You will, however, look basic. What? Oh please, Google it.

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