Empire triumphantly returned from its season two mini-hiatus last night, resolving cliffhangers and creating new questions for the show’s rabid fanbase to chew over. Rhonda survived an assassination attempt, but her baby did not. Lucious is officially out as head of Empire Entertainment and Camila (guest star Naomi Campbell) appears to be running the show as a Dick Cheney-esque shadow leader. Also, Jamal is definitely still gay, even though he had sex with Alicia Keys last year.
But Empire’s engine of plot is powered by who’s in charge of the titular company. When we left our characters last year, the question remained as to who would actually assume a leadership role within Empire. Would Jamal keep his job? Would Andre step up? Would Mimi Whiteman use her newfound power to take over? How the hell did she fall in love with Camila so fast? Do any of us actually understand the corporate structure of Empire Entertainment?
I’d say the answer to that last question has been “no” for a long time. I get that there’s a board of directors and a mysterious corporate charter that Lucious badly wants to see. But what else goes on within the hallowed walls of Empire?
The power pyramid of Empire starts with Mimi Whiteman. I’m assuming that Marisa Tomei was absent from last night’s episode for budgetary and time reasons, but she’s supposed to be in charge. Why pay a special guest star if she’s just going to twirl her metaphorical villain mustache in the background of every scene but not do anything of note? Still, she is the chairperson of Empire Entertainment and the primary owner thanks to her hostile takeover. That takeover was due in no small part to Hakeem using his vote on the Empire board to remove Lucious from power. I have to wonder why Lucious didn’t try to kick Hakeem off the board after he started Lyon Dynasty and screamed about how he was renouncing his last name. I suppose that all got lost in the meandering, bizarre Frida Gatz subplot.
But what about Jamal? At one point, Jamal was the interim CEO while Lucious was in prison. But then he went back to being vice-chairman after his father’s release. So, what does that make him now? Does he still have a job? I assume he does, because we never saw him get fired by Camila or Mimi or anyone else. But he behaves as though he’s totally helpless and mere talent to be controlled via contracts rather than a board member and employee of Empire.
Is anyone concerned that Camila, who has no experience running a multinational corporation, is now dictating strategy? This is like if Marissa Meyer’s husband just unilaterally decided that he was going to start bossing people around at Yahoo. Probably not the best idea for the future of the company, is it? Where’s the outrage from the many reasonable board members? On the bright side, she came prepared with the plans for a clothing line, clearly her dream project. At last, she’s free to do what she was put on this planet for, the idea that’s been keeping her up at night: ugly clothes.
Jago Locke, the former head of Swiftstream, the music streaming service Lucious coveted all through the first half of season two, functions somewhere in the Empire power structure as well. He’s on the board, and was tipped to be the new CEO until Lucious sent his goons after everyone who could challenge him. I’d like to point out the absurdity of this entire subplot right now, because I’m starting to feel a sharp pain in my temple when I think about it. Camila and Hakeem clearly expect to take over the CEO position, but they don’t have the votes. Their move is to behave in a petulant, irresponsible manner. OK, that’s totally in character for them to do, but also not the best way to get what they want.
Lucious decides that the only way to get his empire back is to intimidate all of the CEO candidates, including Jago Locke, so that no one can be voted into the job. This assumes that A) all of these board members will vote for the guy who murdered their cats and hung them from the ceilings of their apartments and broke their arms, and B) that Hakeem would also be so afraid of his dad that he would back off too. If Lucious had tried to work with Jago (who he beat the crap out of last season, too) he might have been able to politically isolate Mimi and Camila. What Lucious actually did was give Hakeem a clear path to the CEO job because the only person strong enough to stop him – Jago Locke – got his face smashed in by some goons. This whole debacle really saps some of the evil genius cred that Lucious had left. Though now I have a theory that Jago Locke has to get beat up at least once every season.
At the end of the episode, Empire buys Lyon Dynasty, which allows Cookie back into the company, even though she is still technically a board member anyway. I’m at a loss to sort out what Cookie can do to take back Empire while totally at the mercy of Camila and Mimi. Granted, she negotiates “full autonomy” and a job as head of A&R for Empire, but she still works for Empire, and therefore for Camila and Mimi. What is her big masterplan? Force another no confidence vote? Run the company into the ground by putting out the next Kidd Fo-Fo album? Stab them both with a shard of glass under the cover of darkness? It’s great that she has a job again, but what about Andre?
What about poor Andre? For God’s sake, nothing ever goes well for Andre, does it? His father would rather die than let him take over Empire in season one and season two. Now, his wife is assaulted and has a miscarriage, thereby forcing him to question his faith in a higher power. To add insult to injury, has anyone mentioned the fate of Gutterlife Records, the hardcore rap label that Andre was trying to turn into a religious imprint? Is that still around? Does Gutterlife still put out Frida Gatz records? Does Gutterlife have any other artists? Does Andre serve a purpose on this show other than to suffer? I think we know the answers to those questions, at least. And they are:
- No.
- Probably not. The writing staff seems to be ditching story threads that didn’t work from the first half of season two.
- I’m sure they don’t, though don’t be surprised if we see Frida’s twin sister who’s pregnant with Lucious’s baby later this season.
- Yes. Their names are: Titan, Crank Master, P Busta and J Poppa. J Poppa is the guy who had sex with Becky last half-season.
- No. Andre must suffer so the rest of us might live.
