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Daily Record
Daily Record
National
Kirsty Paterson

Falkirk foster carers who looked after 117 children step down after three decades

A foster couple have taken a well-earned retirement after nearly 30 years which saw them care for 117 children.

Gena and Steve Driscoll, who fostered with Falkirk Council, are among seven experienced foster carers who have recently stepped down. Between them, they have spent an incredible 88 years making a difference to children's lives.

Falkirk Council's fostering manager, Alma Cope, paid tribute to the work they have all done over the years.

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"We want to say a huge thank you to them for serving Falkirk children and Falkirk families. They have helped so many children - from last-minute emergencies to helping kids on to adoption or offering them a long-term home."

"It's lovely and we really want them to enjoy their retirement - but it's such a big loss!"

Alma Cope, fostering team manager at Falkirk Council (Lisa Evans / Falkirk Council)

While Gena and Steve did not want to be photographed, Gena agreed to talk about her experiences, offering both long-term and emergency care.

She began when her own children were four and six, and says she kept going for over 29 years because she "enjoyed the challenges".

She said: "I enjoyed helping young people out for them to move on. You’re working with them, educating them, and trying to teach them about how to care for themselves, what it’s going to be like when they’ve got their own family, and prepare them for moving on.

"At the time, it seems like they might not be interested, and it’s not until later on in the years when they say ‘Ah Gena, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be doing this, or I wouldn’t be doing that’."

Gena soon found that looking after teenagers worked better for her family.

"It was trial and error really in the beginning, to see what dynamics worked well for our family," she said.

"Teenagers did have their challenges, but I felt better about dealing with their challenges and because they were older, it was easier to explain to them why they were behaving the way they were."

She was surprised to be told that in her 29 years of fostering she had looked after 117 children.

"As many as that?! I’ve never really tallied it up!" she said.

But while rewarding, it's not always an easy job, looking after someone else's children.

"I noticed that often you’re working with the parents, educating them as well as the child," said Gena. "Sometimes the parents have had a trauma in their life that hasn’t been dealt with and so they’re unable to take on that parental responsibility.

"Sometimes the children come to us because of neglect and the parents don’t know how to take care of the children."

As a foster carer, she says, you need to think about what has happened in the children's lives so far.

"They might have feelings of rejection and anger. If they have challenging behaviour, they weren’t born that way.

"They’re not wanting you to be their mother either - what they need is an example of that motherly role."

But it's a great feeling to watch children gradually becoming more at ease.

"You know when someone’s settled in, is when they come down, go to the fridge and help themselves to something to eat.

"They would never just come in and empty my cupboards or anything like that, so it always a nice feeling when they feel comfortable enough to help themselves to something."

While there can be difficult times, Gena says she has always been supported by the team at Falkirk Council.

She said: "For fostering to work, you need a good team around the child. It takes good communication to support the child, so it’s important to be honest and open with your workers."

And she's in no doubt that the carers are an important part of the partnership with professionals.

"Foster carers might not have the letters behind our name, but what we do, we’re good at. We deal with trauma, self-harm, we see drug issues – what we deal with is endless, we should be classed as professionals."

Her tips for anyone thinking about fostering are to get hands-on experience and "listen to other people".

And don't expect instant feedback from the children in your care.

"Never think you’re not making a difference at the time, because they are listening and taking it in – they probably just won’t appreciate it until much later in their lives.

"Anyone that’s coming on board, stick at it and don’t give up at the first hurdle. For anyone that’s thinking about it, you don’t need to jump in at the deep end, just start slow with taking some children for short breaks.

"The more experience you get, the more you’ll be able to take on.

She also recommends that new carers go to the support groups and talk to other people.

Reflecting on the many, many children she's helped, she says: "It's always been worth it. I’ve never looked back and thought it’s not been worth it."

Alma said she hoped that new people would come forward to find out more about fostering.

She said: "While we want to say thank you to them, we really want to encourage people to come and join us."

Alma would urge anyone who is considering fostering to attend an open evening on January 24 at Forth Valley Sensory Centre.

Young people who have been in care, foster carers and Falkirk Council staff who can tell you more about the process will all be there.

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