Fair City star Una Crawford-O’Brien has revealed she never thought she’d work again after losing her baby girl to cot death.
The Dublin born actress, who plays Renee Phelan in the RTE hit soap, said acting saved her and helped her regain her confidence after the tragedy.
The actress, who lost her newborn daughter Sorcha in 1990 at just 17-weeks old, told RTE Guide: “After Sorcha died I thought I’d never act again because I thought ‘how dare I?’
“Getting up to entertain people on the stage? I lost confidence in myself completely when Sorcha died but acting is what saved me as well.
“I will never forget the day I was driving into RTE to work over 20 years ago, driving past people in offices and thinking, ‘Yes, I’m doing what I love!’
“And acting has saved me over the years when times have been bad, coming to work and doing what I love best. It’s an aphrodisiac in some ways.”
The Clondalkin native added: “Sometimes it’s hard to see it but other times you go, ‘yes, I really think that happened for a reason.’
“It was terrible and still is. There are years when I can’t cope. This year I could be great and next year I could be terrible. You just learn to live with it.
So, I try and most of the times I succeed, in living for the day. It’s all about what might have been.
“Sorcha came between the two boys. I always wanted a daughter and here I had one. Then suddenly she wasn’t there anymore.
“And I still think today what it would be like to have a daughter. But you have to go on.
“Tim was just four and a half when Sorcha died and I couldn’t give up on him.”
Reflecting on how the tragedy changed her outlook on life, she said: “I’m living in the present. I’m not looking to the future because it scares me.
“So I’m having a great time right now and that comes with experience and age.
“When my daughter died a number of years ago, that was an eye opener.
“I thought I had all these years ahead with her.
“It made me realise that when you get the good times, grab them with both hands and make the most of it.”
Meanwhile, opening up about her relationship with her Fair City co-star and on-screen partner Bryan Murray, who plays Bob, she said she admitted: “I wasn’t looking for love and was quite happy to be on my own.
“I had a job that I loved, I had two sons that I adored and I had great friends.
“The relationship was slow to start with and then I thought ‘he’s alright!’ And he made me laugh and still does.
“In fact he’s the only person who made me laugh so much that I fell off a chair.”
