Thanks all for your company and comments – enjoy the rest of the weekend. Ta-ra.
I started this afternoon by extolling the joy of the FA Cup, but lamenting a draw that made fun unlikely. But the FA Cup being the FA Cup, it found a way anyway; of course it did. There’s absolutely nothing like it, nor will there ever be anything like it. That stuff I said about it giving us the greatest moments, days and times of our lives – just ask Nick Tsaroulla how he’s feeling right now, anyone who plays for or supports Crawley Town, or anyone who loves the game of football. This is why we’re here.
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Here’s David Hytner’s report of the game of the round....
Coming up later this afternoon, we’ve got Marine v Spurs, then there’s Newport County v Brighton. Tomorrow, it’s Stockport County v West Ham, after which we’ll have the draw not just for round four but for round five too.
With 109 minutes gone, Cheltenham and Mansfield are still locked at 1-1.
I said it below, but Nick Tsaroulla’s goal, Crawley’s first, is one of the greats.
Leeds' 3-0 loss at Crawley is only the second time a top-flight side has lost by three or more goals to fourth tier opposition in the FA Cup.
— The Blizzard (@blzzrd) January 10, 2021
The other being Oxford United’s 3-0 defeat to Aldershot in 1987. pic.twitter.com/qHRPf7U0GX
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Fran Kirby has scored four times for Chelsea, who lead Reading 4-0 in the weekend’s only WSL match.
“Agree to disagree with Tristan Ellis,” retorts Simon McMahon. “He’s wrong, though. And as for the ball being mostly played when it is on or close to the ground, he obviously doesn’t watch Scottish football.”
Our match reports are coming in...
“Re: Bernardo Silva’s goal,” says David Wall, “how does that binary classification account for half-volleys? Technically the ball has hit the floor, it just does so as it’s being struck. Does that mean that it’s not a volley at all, and that half-volleys are misleadingly named? Any suggestions about what would be better?”
I guess a volley – so a full volley – is the ball being struck before it bounces , so it makes sense that a half-volley - half a volley - is the ball being struck on the bounce, when half ot it has yet to bounce. So etymologically speaking, I think we’re good.
“The boys enjoyed it, “ says John Yems, the Crawley manager, who spent the second half grinning his absolute face off. His players have had to fight hard for this, he says, because a lot of them have been rejected through their careers, and they worked really hard on this particular performance. They’re enjoying the moment and looking forward to the next round.
This afternoon's results
Barnsley 2-0 Tranmere Rovers
Bristol City 2-1 Portsmouth
Chelsea 4-0 Morecambe
Cheltenham Town 1-1 Mansfield Town (extra-time being played)
Crawley Town 3-0 Leeds United
Man City 3-0 Birmingham City
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Ashley Nadesan is delighted to be man of the match, and says his goal killed the game. He’s proud of his team’s all-round performance, and hopes they push for promotion now – as we said earlier, they’re currently sixth in League 2.
Jordan Tunnicliffe says teamwork is what got Crawley home today, and they knew Leeds were weak on set-pieces, which in their division, it’s important to be good at. He’s hoping for for big away trip in round four.
Nick Tsaroulla is “buzzing”. “What a team performance that was,” he says, and describing his goal, says he can’t remember much because lost himself in the moment; I’ll bet. He goes on to say that it’s been a “long, tough road” for him to get to this point, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m properly going here; he goes too, as you might imagine. What a day, what a game, what a competition, what a sport.
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The Crawley result is mad enough, but the performance, oof madone! They made the best chance in the first half and were by far the better side in the second; Tsaroulla’s goal will go down in folklore as one of the competition’s greats.
Full-time: Chelsea 4-0 Morecambe
Straightforward for Chelsea.
Full-time: Crawley Town 3-0 Leeds United!
Crawley Town have knocked Leeds United out of the FA Cup. In the league, 64 places separate the teams! Ah man, if only there were fans in.
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Martin Keown has given Nadesan man of the match and rightly so. He’s played really well, aside from scoring.
Leeds have three additional minutes to score the three goals they need to stay in the cup; Wright is now on to try and stop them.
He’s getting ready, and pre-match, we were told that he’s really good, not making it at Spurs or West Ham because he was complacent.
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Crawley can actually enjoy seeing this out, not something that happens very often in the world of giant-killing. We expect blocks, scuffs and scrambles, but we’re getting counters, crosses and Mark Wight!
GOAL! Chelsea 4-0 Morecambe (Havertz 85)
Azpilicueta goes down the right and slings over a decent cross, headed home by the hanging Havertz. That’s a really good finish, and makes for a perfect afternoon for Frank Lampard; goals for Havertz and Werner would’ve been top of his list of desires.
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There’ve been a lot of words spoken this season about how to beat Leeds; kick up the pitch is a new addition to that conversation, though I baulk at mentioning it because Crawley have shut them down so well. And, as I type that, Hernandez wallops a wild shot over the bar.
GOAL! Bristol City 2-1 Portsmouth (Martin 83)
The Championship side go back in front.
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GOAL! Cheltenham Town 1-1 Mansfield Town (May 73)
I missed this goal in all the excitement but it exists.
Crawley are seeing this out pretty easily. Eight minutes and added time remain.
“I am not sure that I agree that Bernado Silva’s goal ‘wasn’t a volley’,” emails Tristan Ellis. I can see why you are saying this - he shot after the ball had bounced - but the context of this is that it’s football, not tennis. In tennis, a shot is either a volley (hitting the ball before it has bounced) or a groundstroke (hitting it after a single bounce). Tennis shots are always played when the ball is in the air, and always after a maximum of one bounce, however, and describing shots as vollies and groundstrokes reflects that different techniques are required for each. In football, most of the time the ball is played when it is on or close to the ground, and there is no limit to the number of bounces that can occur. Therefore I think it is legitimate to refer to a player kicking the ball at hip height or above as a volley irrespective of whether it has bounced or not beforehand, as this requires a specific technique that is different to other footballing skills. Whether or not the ball has bounced beforehand is relatively unimportant.”
Whether or not the ball bounced is relatively unimportant in deciding how good a goal was – Bernardo’s was a brilliant one – but in terms of accurate description, it matters. After that, people can decide what they think of it, but ultimately, though football is an extremely powerful thing that has changed the meaning of many words and terms, it’s yet to exert its influence in this specific aspect. You can’t volley a ball that’s already bounced, but you can whack a ball with a difficult bounce past the keeper in magnificent style.
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Oh my goodness, it’s nearly four! Watters, Town’s top scorer and on as sub, finds himself through after a speculative hook over the top forces a bum touch out of Casey. Casilla dashes out, Watters goes around him but wide, and when the shot comes it’s blocked. But Crawley maintain pressure, and when Watters hammers another low shot goalwards, Casey slides in desperately to block.
Some time at the end of the 80s, AC Milan went to Old Trafford for a friendly, to find the pitch in its usual state of the time. They were flicking it up to themselves before passing, but Leeds haven’t quite managed that and haven’t found another way of imposing their game.
A long diag in behind causes Leeds further trouble. It ends up behind, but not much one-touch passing you can get done when the ball’s in the air, nor when it’s skipping off the turf for that matter.
Crawley have scored three times in 20 minutes, and what’s more they’ve deserved to. They know exactly what they’re about, while Leeds look like they’d rather be anywhere else.
OH MY ABSOLUTE COMPLETE AND UTTER DAYS! GOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL! Crawley Town 3-0 Leeds United (Tunnicliffe 70)
So expletive easy! A fine cross into the box has Phillips heading on the backpeddle, and the ball falls to Nadesan who does really well to dig out a controlled shot that Casilla can only parry back into play ... and straight to Tunnicliffe who, six yards out, takes a touch before dematerilaising a finish into the roof of the net! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!
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Nadesan nips the ball away from Phillips, who goes through with his challenge anyway and is booked. Crawlet now have another opportunity to put a ball into the box....
Currently, there’s no indication that Leeds have what it’ll take to get back into this.
Poor old Casilla - his confidence has totally forsaken him, so when Nichols shoots from distance, he can only paw it around the post. The corner comes to nothing.
This has been an impeccable performance from Crawley so far, it really has. Leeds have had almost nothing, while they’ve managed a belter and a scrappy one in the classic cup tradition.
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At the Etihad, Mahrez thinks he’s scored City a fourth, running in Rodri’s cross-kick at the back post, but the flag goes up and VAR will preside. He’s off.
GOAL! Barnsley 1-0 Tranmere (Helik 59)
The Championship side take the lead!
Already, Raphinha has made a difference to Leeds.
Crawley are pushing for a third goal!
Bielsa goes again, sending on Greenwood and Raphinha for Poveda and Davis. They’ve got work to do.
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This is something, and it’s fair to say that Marcelo Bielsa’s half-time triple-change hasn’t worked as well as he’d like.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! GOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL! Crawley Town 2-0 Leeds United (Nadesan 53)
A loose pass allows Crawley to start a counter, Tunnicliffe getting in front of Harrison and Nichols finding Nadesan. He screeches down the right, cracks a shot that flicks off a divot in the aforementioned lively pitch, hits the shocked Casilla, and goes in! I cannot believe what I’m seeing! This is the FA Cup!
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GOOOOOOOOAAAAAL! A LOVELY GOAL! Crawley Town 1-0 Leeds United (Tsaroulla 50)
Hello! Hello! What have we here?! Nadesan finds Tsaroulla, who spins Shackleton, evades Jenkins then spins Shackleton again the other way, bursts into the box and slams a left-footed finish across Casilla and into the bottom corner! Brilliant behaviour! That is one of the great FA Cup goals!
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GOAL! Chelsea 3-0 Morecambe (Hudson-Odoi 48)
Chelsea without Hakim Ziyech are nothing. Loitering 25 yards from goal, he picks a pass over the top that meets the run of Hudson-Odoi, and though his first touch isn’t great, no defender is close enough to do anything about it, so he pivots to clout home a finish, in off the keeper.
“Really glad to see that, unlike another (I wouldn’t even call it a rival) website, you did not describe Silva’s opener for City as ‘a volley’. That’s because it wasn’t, which seems to have escaped the so-called experts elsewhere. These things are important. To me, anyway.”
I’m ashamed to admit this, but I was in my 30s when Rob Smyth taught me that a half-volley isn’t a ball that’s hit after one bounce, but on or immediately after the bounce.
Leeds also move from 3-4-3 to 4-1-4-1, but from what I can see, Kalvin Phillips is still playing at the back.
Leeds make three changes at half-time, Marcelo Bielsa removing Struijk, Cooper and Rodrigo, to introduce Casey, Jenkins and Harrison. Jenkins is 18 and making his debut.
The players are starting to return. Crawley Town are sixth in League 2, while Leeds United are 12th in the Premier League.
Join me for the second halves in about 10 minutes.
Half-time scores
Barnsley 0-0 Tranmere Rovers
Bristol City 1-1 Portsmouth
Chelsea 2-0 Morecambe
Cheltenham Town 0-1 Mansfield Town
Crawley Town 0-0 Leeds United
Manchester City 3-0 Birmingham City
GOAL! Bristol City 1-1 Portsmouth (Johnson 45+1)
Portsmouth are back in the game!
Half-time: Crawley Town 0-0 Leeds United
This is the one to watch.
GOAL! Chelsea 2-0 Morecambe (Werner 44)
Ziyech gets on the ball just outside the box, right-hand side, and plays with it until he works the angle for a cross, snapping over the top for Havertz who heads across, and Werner taps home. That’s his first goal in 13 games, and I’d wager that he – and his manager – are extremely relieved.
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That’s probably the closest either side have come, though Leeds were denied a soft but clear penalty.
Hello! Crawley win a corner down the left and it’s slung into the middle for Nicholls, who makes an ok connection – there’s a fair bit of head, but also a bit of shoulder - and Casilla does well to react, pushing away, even if the ball is right in front of his face.
Crawley aren’t threatening Leeds much, but for as long as the game stays goalless they’ll fancy it. On which point, I should add that if scores are level after 90 minutes, there’ll be extra-time and, if necessary, penalties.
But seconds later it’s nearly four, Bell doing superbly to hook off the line when Jesus lifts a finish over Prieto.
Back come Birmingham, dashing downfield and finding Friend on the right, who shoots low; Steffen does well to parry then leap on the loose ball before Hogan can tap it past him.
GOAL! Manchester City 3-0 Birmingham City (Foden 33)
Gosh, this could get messeh. City sweep forward again down the left, and when the ball comes central to Foden, he takes a brilliant first touch which brings him inside his man and opens the angle for him to whack low and across his body, into the bottom corner. He is such a player.
Birmingham escape conceding a penalty, just, someone – Colin, I think – sliding in to phoul Phoden foul Foden. But the offence took place just outside the area.
Just kicking off, we’ve got Reading v Chelsea in the only WSL match of the weekend. join Rob Smyth for that now.
Back in Manchester, City are picking Birmingham apart. It’s going to be a long afternoon for them.
The pitch at Crawley looks a bit lively but Leeds are pushing nonetheless, Poveda trying a shot. The ball then goes wide to Costa, who deflects into the middle, and a defender, Craig I think, puts hands on Rodrigo’s shoulders just to make sure he can’t finish. That’s a penalty – a soft one, but nevertheless – only the officials think to the contrary.
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Talking of Havertz, he gets himself into bother by choosing to attack a Morecambe cross which was passing peacefully across the box. Happily for him, he doesn’t get enough on his header to trouble Kepa, but he’ll have experienced a moment as the ball moved across the face of goal.
I think the thing is that in the league, you can’t really play Havertz with Mount, and Lampard trusts the latter.
Back to Havertz, I’m not sure what the plan for him is. Chelsea didn’t really need him, and it seemed like they signed him because they could – it’s unlikely that he’d have been available to them were it not for the pandemic so they waded in. Now they’ve got him, though, they don’t really have a position for him because they don’t play with a number 10 or a false nine and Ziyech plays right-wing.
Back at the Bridge, Emerson’s in the mood, unleashing his third shot of the game - Halstead shoves it away on the dive, and Werner can’t arrive quickly enough to snaffle the rebound.
It already looks like we’re relying on Crawley for a shock this afternoon.
GOAL! Bristol City 1-0 Portsmouth (Diedhiou 19)
The Championship side hit the front.
GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 Morecambe (Mount 18)
Decent way to celebrate your 22nd birthday, and absolutely not what I was doing on mine. Emerson punches him a square pass, he takes a touch and, with the keeper unsighted, belts a low shot into the bottom corner.
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GOAL! Manchester City 2-0 Birmingham City (Bernardo Silva 15)
City knock it about down the right, then Mahrez wipes the outside of his foot across the ball, sticking a pass in behind for De Bruyne. He races onto it, cuts back and Bernardo taps home,
Leeds step it up at Crawley, nashing down the left, before Poveda drives a low shot from a narrow anglke that Morris saves well enough with his foot.
Goodness me, Morecambe almost take the lead at Stamford Bridge! They build nicely down the right and Phillips either crosses or sees Kepa anticipating the same, drilling low and hard; the keeperhas to spin and scrabble back to haul the ball off his line.
WHAT A GOAL! Manchester City 1-0 Birmingham City (Bernardo Silva 8)
The aforementioned Friend heads away but only as far as Bernardo, and though the ball bounces up to almost shoulder-height, he gets over it with his leg horizontal to clatter a brilliant finish into the top corner. Welcome to the game, Blues.
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At Chelsea, Emerson has swiped a shot wide. It’s worth mentioning that Kai Havertz is part of a midfield three today, and I’m not sure that where he’ll want to be but excuse me while I interrupt myself!
Crawley’s first dangerous set-piece has been and gone, Casilla pawing away a free-kick.
Manchester City are warming up, Birmingham’s George Friend doing well to snuff out Kevin de Bruyne.
GOAL! Cheltenham Town 0-1 Mansfield Town (McLaughlin 4)
I’ve not managed to achieve coverage of this game, but a goal is a goal.
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Email! “People keep saying that domestic cups are rubbish,” emails Kári Tulinius, “but I don’t know a single football fan who doesn’t love them. Their one-and-out format means every game is do or die. The equivalent competition in the US, the NCAA basketball tournament, is probably the only sporting contest universally beloved in America. If football authorities and marketers had any sense, a big ask I know, they’ll turn domestic cups into their own March Madness.”
So are you saying the leagues take a break, and every round is played within a month? I think March Madness is a little different because of the strange mania surrounding student sport so I’m not sure a similar arrangement would work in this context, but agree that the format is brilliant.
Leeds’ Kalvin Phillips appears to be playing in a back three.
At City, there’s a minute’s silence for the great Colin Bell.
Jermaine Jenas – sorry, JJ, not sure how he got that nickname – notes that Leeds are vulnerable at set-pieces. Can Crawley exploit that?
The players in our various matches are with us. Absolutely all of them look cold.
John Yems, the Crawley manager, is asked how big this game is.
You’ll be relieved to learn that we’ve settled on JB and JJ (Jenas is the other).
BBC have two pundits called Jermaine on Crawley-Leeds; hilarity ensues. Here’s the Beckford variety writing his name over the 2009-10 third round.
Elsewhere, Pep Guardiola isn’t allowing his team’s recently rediscovered form to sneak away. He makes just four changes from the side that won at Old Trafford in midweek – Mendy, Walker, Bernardo Silva and Jesus come in, with Zinchenko, Stones, Gundogan and Sterling dropping out. Birmingham do likewise, with Aitor Karanaka bringing in Andres Prieto, Maxime Colin, Jon-Miquel Toran and Scott Hogan.
Frank Lampard, meanwhile, makes six changes to Franklampardschelsea. I’m looking forward to seeing how Billy Gilmour gets on – he was great against Liverpool in last season’s competition – with Hakim Ziyech, the man who makes it work also starting and Timo Werner continuing his search for the lost goal. It’s also worth noting that Callum Hudson-Odoi is in – he’s been pushing for a regular spot and a decent showing here might earn one for him.
So let’s take a closer look at these teams. Crawley make just one change, Nick Tsaroulla replacing Archie Davies, and have Mark Wright – no, not that one – of Only Way is Essex fame – on the bench, along with his brother Josh. Leeds, meanwhile, make seven changes from their kicking at Spurs, Struik, Alioski, Phillips and Rodrigo the survivors.
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I doubt I’m the only nerd reminded of this FA Cup classic by the name of the Portsmouth keeper.
Teams: Bristol City v Portsmouth
Bristol City: Bentley, Mariappa, Kalas, Mawson, Rowe, Semenyo, Nagy, Bakinson, Adelakun, Martin, Diedhiou. Subs: O’Leary, Vyner, Moore, Towler, Edwards O, Massengo, Pearson, Wells, Bell.
Portsmouth: MacGillivray, Johnson, Raggett, Micolaisen, Brown, Naylor, Cannon, Harness, Williams, Jacobs, Marquis. Subs: Turnbull, Bolton, Mnoga, Downing, Whatmough, Close, Morris, Harrison, Hiwula.
Yes, that’s right – Cheltenham have a Bowry and Mansfield have a Bowery, presumably in homage to the iconic Manhattan hotel. In FA Cup parlance, I believe that’s “ironic”, on which point, did you know that Trevor Brooking didn’t get many with ’is ’ead but scored the winner in the 1980 final with a header? Trusay.
Teams: Cheltenham Town v Mansfield Town
Cheltenham Town: Griffiths, Raglan, Tozer, Boyle, Blair, Hussey, Thomas, Chapman, May, Lloyd, Williams. Subs: Harris, Long, Bowry, Clements, Addai, Freestone, Azaz, Campbell.
Mansfield Town: Stech, O’Keefe, Rawson, Sweeney, Benning, Lapslie, Maris, Charsley, McLaughlin, Reid, Bowery. Subs: Stone, Menayese, Cook, O’Driscoll, Clarke J.
Teams: Barnsley v Tramere Rovers
Barnsley: Collins, Brittain, Sollbauer, Helik, Andersen, Styles, Mowatt, Kane, Frieset, Chaplin, Woodrow. Subs: Walton, Williams J, Oduor, Palmer, Sibbick, Schmidt, Adeboyejo, Thomas.
Tranmere Rovers: Davies, O’Connor, Monthe, Ray, Ridehalgh, Spearing, Lewis, Khan, Woolery, Ferrier, Vaughan. Subs: Murphy, Corey, Blackett-Taylor, Ellis, Morris, Nugent, Banks, Burton, Hayde.
Teams: Manchester City v Birmingham City
Man City: Steffen, Cancelo, Dias, Walker, Mendy, Rodrigo, Mahrez, De Bruyne, Foden, Bernardo, Jesus. Subs: Ederson, Stones, Gundogan, Fernandinho, Zinchenko, Delap, Harwood-Bellis, Nmecha, Mbete.
Birmingham City: Prieto, Colin, Clarke-Salter, San José, Friend, Sunjic, Kieftenbeld, Sanchez, Toral, Leko, Hogan. Subs: Etheridge, Pedersen, Dean, Dacres-Cogley, Roberts, Clayton, McGree, Bela, Jutkiewicz.
Teams: Chelsea v Morecambe
Chelsea: Kepa, Azpilicueta, Zouma, Rudiger, Emerson, Mount, Gilmour, Havertz, Ziyech, Werner, Hudson-Odoi. Subs: Caballero, Jorginho, Abraham, Pulisic, Tomori, Kovacic, Giroud, Chilwell, Anjorin.
Morecambe: Halstead, Hendrie, Knight-Percvial, Davis, Cooney, Songo’o, Wildig, Phillips, Slew, Stockton, Mendes Gomes. Subs: Turner, Mellor, Diagourage, Kenyon, Lyons, O’Sullivan, Leitch-Smith, McAlinden, Gibson.
For the eagle-eyed: yes, Hessenthaler is related to Hessenthaler. Playing today is Jake, the son of Andy. Here he is scoring for Watford against Swindon in 1995.
Teams: Crawley Town v Leeds United
Crawley Town: Morris, Francomb, Craig, Tunnicliffe, Dallison, Tsaroulla, Powell, Hessenthaler, Matthews, Nadesan, Nichols. Subs: Nelson, McNerney, Doherty, M Wright, Davies, J Wright, Frost, Galach, Watters.
Leeds United: Casilla, Davis, Struijk, Cooper, Alioski, Phillips, Shackleton, Hernandez, Poveda, Costa, Rodrigo. Subs: Caprile, Huggins, Jenkins, Casey, Harrison, Raphinha, Greenwood.
Preamble
This coverage is meant to be unbiased and impartial so I apologise for the slight to journalistic integrity, but: I love the FA Cup. Whatever people try to tell us, football remains a simple game and it remains a simple competition which has spent 139 years giving people some of the greatest moments, days and times of their lives. Bill Shankly, Alex Ferguson and Arsène Wenger all loved it, and if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for the rest of us.
But like all of us, it relies on its drawers draws for support, and this year’s third-round version has not been kind. We’ve seen decent results for Chorley against Derby, Blackpool against West Brom and Doncaster at Blackburn, along with close shaves for Burnley, Sheffield United and Arsenal, but we’ve not yet had anything incendiary and if we’re being real, that’s unlikely to happen this afternoon either.
You never know though, and even if we see nothing great we’re seeing something, as well as investing in the potential greatness of the coming rounds which we can’t fully appreciate unless we were there from the start. So let’s dig in to:
Barnsley v Tranmere Rovers
Bristol City v Portsmouth
Chelsea v Morecambe
Cheltenham Town v Mansfield Town
Crawley Town v Leeds United
Manchester City v Birmingham City
Kick-offs – or should that be kicks-off: 1.30pm GMT
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