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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Barry Glendenning

Extinguished birthday candles and No Jacket Required on the decks

$tevie Mbe.
You can actually pinpoint the second when the narrative rips in half. Photograph: Tom Jenkins for the Guardian

TRICKY VILLA

Sunday’s FA Cup semi-final between Liverpool and Aston Villa was always going to be an intriguing battle between teams managed by a pair of youthful up-and-coming managers regularly tipped for great things by themselves. In the red corner: Brendan Rodgers, whose team has taken four points from the 21 available to them against sides above them in the table so far this season. The same Brendan Rodgers whose undeniable qualities as a coach are rarely questioned, but whose abilities as a manager are under scrutiny on the back of some poor transfer activity, rumours he has “lost” the dressing room, a group stage Big Cup exit and his team’s worrying reputation for choking on the big occasion. In the claret and blue corner: Tim Sherwood, a gilet-wearing comparative whelp of the management game, who invented Harry Kane, did reasonably well at Spurs, was until yesterday doing reasonably well at Aston Villa and whose propensity for talking like an actual human being provides a welcome press conference antidote to the often baffling management babble peddled by his opposite number. Who would prevail?

With the gods having apparently decided that Liverpool were a shoo-in because it meant $tevie Mbe would get to lift the FA Cup on the occasion of his birthday and last match for the club, The Fiver is surprised Villa even bothered turning up. But turn up they did, surprising most right-thinking people in the process with a narrative-busting come-from-behind win to book a place against Arsenal in the final and force a forlorn $tevie to book an alternative venue to Wembley Stadium for his birthday party.

It was no fluke either. While Liverpool’s players failed to deliver as a collective, Tactics Tim managed to bamboozle Brendan by playing Jack Grealish and Charles N’Zogbia as inside-out false trequartistas and the pair tormented Emre Can to within an inch of his life. The German was forced to make his debut appearance as a right-back in one of a few different Liverpool formations that failed to answer the questions posed by re-energised Villa’s vim and vigour. “We looked at Liverpool and thought it might cause them a few problems if we played two No10s and it turned out that way,” said Tim, clearly no relation of the Tactics Tim who has previously aired a theory that No10s are just strikers that don’t score goals.

Looking highly unlikely to reel in Manchester City and having left it a bit late for what ‘Arry Redknapp labels “the scramble to avoid qualification for [Big Vase],” it is difficult to know what the short and long term future holds for Brendan. While his players ought to shoulder much of the responsibility for yesterday’s flat performance, it is far from the first time he has failed to motivate them on the big stage. “Dealing with the occasion is something we need to improve at,” he said. “There have been other big games where we have dealt with that very well, but there are others where we haven’t.” We can only hope the next big occasion in which Liverpool’s players get to test themselves ends more happily, with 35 successfully extinguished birthday candles and No Jacket Required on the decks.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“There are a lot of ways of finding out when training is. And it is not as if there is that much traffic in Wolfsburg” – club suit Klaus Allofs reveals Nicklas Bendtner was dropped because he was late for training. Perhaps next time he could take a tax ... Oh.

Any excuse.

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RECOMMENDED LISTENING

AC Jimbo is off on World’s Strongest Man duties, so Max Rushden is joined on the latest Football Weekly by Barry Glendenning, Amy Lawrence and John Ashdown.

BITS AND BOBS

Given that he’s in Russia, Sepp Blatter has pronounced that nothing will stop Russia from hosting the best World Cup. Smooth work as ever, Sepp. “The economic situation is not the best, but I know it will get better,” soothsayed the Fifa president. “A lot of this is happening thanks to president Vladimir Putin, but also due to the sports minister [Vitaly] Mutko and [other suit, Alexey] Sorokin. They are a true team and have a wonderful working relationship.”

Doncaster Rovers’ YouTube channel had the right idea after broadcasting highlights of the 0-0 draw against Fleetwood Town … with no highlights in it.

To the Amman derby, where Al-Faisaly keeper Mohammad Shatnawi managed to score an own goal over his head in the 3-0 defeat to rivals Al-Wehdat.

Newcastle boss John Carver won’t criticise fans for their boycott of Sunday’s 3-1 home doing-over by Spurs. “People are entitled to do what they want and have their opinion. I don’t think it affected what went on,” he parped.

Sheffield Wednesday believe success lies down a path of Glenn Roeder, Adam Pearson and Stuart Gray all acting as sporting director. Best of luck to them. “[They have] been carefully selected to focus on a clearly defined scope of responsibility deemed vital to the club’s interests and future successes, on and off the pitch,” trilled chairman Dejphon Chansiri.

Blackpool fans have raised more than £20,000 in three days for pensioner Frank Knight who must pay damages to the club after being threatened with court action over allegations he made on social media about the Oystons. “Thank you to all Blackpool fans for digging deep, and football fans of other clubs throughout the land (and world!),” read a statement on the fundraising page.

Nasty Leeds owner Massimo Cellino insists he had nothing to do with six players pulling out on the eve of their trip to Charlton, which they lost 2-1. “I am not a coward and not the sort of guy who tells his players to go on strike,” roared Cellino. “I only found out on Friday evening. I admit it looks weird. But if the players were [knacked], why didn’t the manager inform the chairman? This looks like a fight between manager Neil Redfearn and the ownership of the club, which is not good.”

And the Norway women’s team have got the right funk on over their kit. “We know [Nike] have done their best and that they haven’t had much time, but it is a bit unfortunate that we should walk around with strips that look like tents,” sniffed captain Trine Roenning.

Norway vs Netherlands

STILL WANT MORE?

Barcelona wobbled on their way up the Tourmalet but emerged unscathed at top, reports Sid Lowe.

The state of the Milan teams. Paolo Bandini riffs all over the Derby della Madonnina’s pain.

Ten talking points from the weekend’s Premier League and FA Cup action, right here.

Liverpool simply couldn’t cope with Villa’s triangular threat, declares Michael Cox.

Eden Hazard’s bloodyminded beauty triumphed in Saturday’s battle of the Belgians, reports Barney Ronay.

And from Crawley Town to Major League Soccerball, there’s more, more, more.

Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.

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‘IT’S A SORT OF IMMORTALITY’

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