Clutter is annoying. Whether yours makes you want to scream, escape into a different room, or jump-start your vacation and avoid it altogether, many of us have been there. But what you may not know is that these feelings of frustration can be converted into clutter-busting action with the right guidance.
Instead of being angry at yourself, your home, and your stuff for cluttering up your space, our experts urge you to direct your annoyance at the inconvenience this stuff is causing you and channel it for successful tidying.
Here, psychology experts and professional home organizers detail how to embrace this decluttering tip, as well as why you may be feeling so annoyed in the first place.
Embracing your clutter annoyance for tidying success
If you find yourself feeling consistently irritated by your clutter and other decluttering methods, or you experience waves of feeling more angry and on edge, it's rational and expected.
Dr. Jenny Shields, psychologist and burnout specialist, explains how the presence of clutter can negatively alter our moods and lead to feelings of frustration. 'Clutter doesn’t just sit quietly in a corner. It nags. It guilt-trips. Every pile of paper, every overflowing basket is like a little whisper of, You should’ve handled this by now. And when you’re already carrying a lot and trying to declutter your home when you feel overwhelmed, those whispers feel more like shouting.'
Cheryl Groskopf, dual-licensed professional clinical counselor and marriage and family therapist at Evolution To Healing, agrees, adding, 'Clutter isn’t just visual – it’s emotional. When your space is messy, your brain doesn’t see “stuff,” it sees unfinished tasks. That triggers stress. Your nervous system can start interpreting clutter as something you're failing at and, in turn, make you feel frustrated.'
How to turn your annoyance into a decluttering superpower
If this resonates with you, you're far from alone. But fear not, for it's possible to overcome a decluttering roadblock and convert your negative emotions into action that will bring calm to your brain one small step at a time.
When you feel negative feelings building when looking at or thinking about your clutter, try to first pin down exactly what kind of emotion it is: Anger? Annoyance? Overwhelm?
Then, consider what this feeling makes you want to do. Does the overwhelm make you want to give up? Does the anger make you want to shout? Does the annoyance make you want to pick petty fights with your loved ones about their belongings being all over your home?
From there, allocate each emotion with a new thing to do: a positive counterpart to keep in the forefront of your mind when you feel yourself slipping into a tricky spiral of tough feelings.
Here are some ideas to help set yourself up for a successful decluttering session, backed up by our two psychologists as well as Tina Priestly, professional organizer and owner of Ready, Set, Refresh.
When you feel like clutter is closing in on you
If you feel yourself becoming increasingly claustrophobic and frustrated, Tina recommends focusing on the clutter that's in front of you to create immediate relief, instead of aiming to complete your whole decluttering checklist.
'Feeling boxed in? Open one window and clear whatever’s right in your line of sight,' says Tina. 'Doing this creates a visual exhale for your brain – like making eye contact with calm. The small win helps interrupt the overwhelm and resets your sense of control.'
When you feel like you want to scream
If you're at the point of wanting to scream, that might be the perfect time for a 10-minute rage-tidy or 'rage clean'.
'Feeling like you want to scream? I say lean into it,' says Jenny. 'That urge to scream is energy. Use it. Set a timer for ten minutes [or try out the 10-10-10 decluttering method] and just go hard – what I call a ‘rage tidy.’
'No organizing bins. No overthinking. Just channel the chaos into movement. You’ll be amazed at what your hands can do when your brain is done negotiating.'
When you feel like crying into the laundry pile
If you feel like crying into your laundry pile or pillow, give yourself a moment to feel your emotions, then turn your attention onto that space.
'When you feel like crying in the laundry pile, give that energy a job,' says Jenny. 'Pick up, toss out, scrub down, anything physical. Movement tells your nervous system, we’re not trapped. That’s the first step towards getting motivated to declutter and becoming unstuck.'
When you feel really low
If you're starting to feel incredibly low and feel yourself needing assistance to conquer clutter, chaos and dreaded chores, focusing on a quick-win can help keep your spirits lifted as well as contribute to progress.
'If the mess makes you want to shut down, don’t try to “push through” decluttering or tidying up all of it,' says Cheryl. This is a surefire way to lead to decluttering burnout.
'Pick one small but noticeable area, adds Cheryl, 'like clearing the coffee table or making the bed. Something you can finish quickly that changes how the space feels.'
This way, you'll still feel a sense of accomplishment, will have reduced visual clutter in a key space and become less likely to foster negative associations with the task of combating clutter.
The 'try-for-five' method is a great one to test out if you're looking to declutter for only five minutes.
When you're ready to throw everything out the window
Wanting all the clutter to be gone out of your house right now is highly relatable. I've definitely been there, wishing my surplus stuff would just simply vanish and deal with itself.
If you're longing to chuck yours out of the window, Tina recommends trying to channel the energy into clearing one single room, even if you aren't making any decluttering decisions right away. You'll likely encounter decision fatigue in your current mindset, so it's best to leave choices for another time.
'That urge to toss everything? Channel it into a dump zone,' says Tina. 'Grab a bin and speed-clear one room into it – don’t sort, just move the mess. It tricks your brain into feeling instant relief as the room is clear, and gives you the clarity to tackle it later without the heat of the moment clouding your judgement.'
If you're swearing under your breath
Are you telling your socks they won't see the next sunrise? Turn that amped-up attitude into fuel to tackle one of the small areas in your home that irks you the most.
'Forget color-coded bins and tricky areas like decluttering sentimental items at this point,' says Jenny. 'That corner you side-eye and mutter about every day? That’s the one. Not because it’s the worst, but because it’s the one you feel right now. Strong emotion is a shortcut to motivation. Ride that wave.'
Decluttering essentials
These spacious baskets are ideal for dumping your stuff in to help clear a room. Plus, they're definitely cheerful.
This Pomodoro timer is perfect for keeping track of your rage-cleaning, so you'll always know how long is left.
Stash anything you might be decluttering under your bed, in the basement, or in the garage in one of these. You don't have to make any hard decisions now, so come back later!
Jotting down any tasks you don't feel up for now is a great way to remember to address them later. You can hide the whiteboard out of sight when not in use if it's triggering your frustrations further.
Put down your phone and pump out some tunes through a good old fashioned speaker as you go from task to task. It's one of the best ways to keep your mood up.
Taking time out for your brain to write about the process is a good way to decompress after feeling frustrated for a while, whether you reflect or rage-dump.
Meet the experts
In the thick of feeling frustrated it might be hard to see the benefits of getting your home in order. But experts will assure you it's more than worthwhile, and that there are even lesser-known benefits of organizing your home, too.
