Asking for a pay rise can be an uncomfortable talking point, leaving people either not knowing how or when to approach the conversation and also what to do if their request is denied.
Research from Totaljobs’ Salary Trends 2025 report found that 67% of those under 30 feel comfortable asking for a pay rise in comparison to 56% of those over 30. There is also a slight gender divide as 79% of young men feel more comfortable asking for a rise compared to 67% of women, highlighting that it still isn’t a conversation that everyone wants to have.
We spoke with experts Nicola Weatherhead, vice president of people at Totaljobs, and co-founder and CEO of moneyappi, Ray Law, about asking for a pay rise.
Why do people find it difficult asking for a pay rise?
Weatherhead explains that for many people, pay remains an unnecessary taboo. “Talking about money can feel awkward, and because it’s seen as a sensitive subject, there’s often a lack of advice or open conversation about how to approach it,” she says. “That creates uncertainty and dents confidence, making the process feel more intimidating than it should be.”
Law adds that aspects such as timing and context also come into play. “People may have had the conversation too early. For example, there needs to be a structure like with any other conversation. We have to therefore lead into it and give context to the person that we were asking,” he explains.
“We have to remember that managers are human too and we have to have a humane chat with them. These things can’t happen, however, without an environment and culture that is in place to allow the conversation. Therefore it is often on the owners of the company and leaders to have built the kind of culture that allows the conversation to happen in the first place.”
When should staff ask?
Weatherhead says: “Most employers review pay annually, so performance reviews or the end of the financial year are natural times to raise the question. However, if your role has changed significantly or you’ve delivered a major project, that can also be a good moment to ask – you don’t always need to wait for the formal cycle.
“They key is to time your request when the company is in a positive financial position, and when you can clearly demonstrate the value you’ve added. In short, the best time to ask is when both you and the business are winning.”
What are the main tips when asking about a pay rise?
Weatherhead adds the first step is to do your homework. “Research what others in similar roles are earning using online tools and live job ads. Second, prepare a clear business case by highlighting specific achievements, such as exceeding targets, saving money, or taking on extra responsibilities,” she explains.
“Third, choose your timing carefully: ask after a successful project or during performance reviews, not when the business is under pressure. Fourth, be clear and confident in your wording: state the figure you want and back it up with evidence, rather than hedging. Finally, practise your opening lines so you feel confident and can start the conversation strongly.”What should staff do if they are unsuccessful?Law says that first and foremost is having an understanding of why this may have happened and also be prepared for those outcomes. “What we do here is have a holistic approach, understand the awareness and literacy around your own money and have a strong resilience to that,” he says.
“Naturally your immediate reaction will be frustration because it’s seen as rejection. However, the best way to handle that kind of frustration is to show that there’s an understanding first. Next is to ask for feedback which will help you not see it as rejection.
“Align yourself with why it’s a no and ask what you would need to demonstrate over the next few months and timeframe to be considered for it. Then follow up with a timeline for revisiting the conversation and have a certain metric in place.
“If it’s something like a pay issue, there are other alternatives to that such as more flexible hours, remote days, extra holiday or annual leave days. If none of this aligns then it’s a consideration for the long game and where you want your career path to lead to.”Weatherhead adds: “If your request is turned down, don’t take it personally. A “no” today doesn’t mean “no forever.”
