A sex expert has revealed the things you should never do in a relationship - including getting lazy in the bedroom or criticising a partner's sexual issues. Emily Jamea also doesn't believe couples should marry in less than a year.
Emily is a 37-year-old mum of two and sex expert from Houston in Texas. Married to Sean Jamea, 48, a real estate developer, she shared five rules she sticks to in her own relationships.
It's important to prioritise romance with your partner, she insists. “I still prioritise Sean as we're our base for our whole family,” she said.
“We go out every Saturday for date night even if we don’t feel like it because it’s always great when we go." And always make time for intimacy, she said.
“I think it’s good to schedule sex if that helps,” she said. “If you think about it, you would do that when you were dating.
“Saying ‘I’ll pick you up at this time to come over to mine’ was an indication to what you both knew would happen. Sex is effortless in the honeymoon phase, and you have to have more intention about it as the relationship grows.
“Keeping sex interesting is important too and mixing it up from time to time. You don’t need to go Fifty Shades of Grey crazy but experimenting a bit might help.”
Emily says she would never adhere to 'outdated dating rules' such as waiting three dates to have sex or holding off texting someone back. "Do what feels right with who you are instead," she said.
"Games might work in the short term but not if you are after something serious." She would also never get married in under a year as "you need to time evaluate yourself and the relationship".
“I think this especially important for younger couples as they will still be figuring themselves out. Everyone is on their best behaviour in the honeymoon phase, so you need that time see what you want from the relationship. An older couple might be OK but as a general guide it’s good to wait a year before making that commitment.”
And she is also big on making sure people don’t get lazy or too comfortable around their partner. "My motto is 'let yourself age but don’t let yourself go,'” she said.
“I think we can always get lazy and complacent in relationships. Of course, we all have those days where we want to be in our tracksuits but it’s good to still make sure you make an effort.
"We should care for ourselves mentally and physically. Maintain a genuine curiosity in your partner and be inquisitive.”
Lastly Emily would never criticise her partner for a sexual issue. “A lot of my clients who come to me about a sexual issue are most upset about how their partner reacted,” she said.
“It’s important to have a neutral response. Their issue might not be anything to do with what you are doing and can be something that can be figured out and worked on. If a partner comes to you about an intimacy issue it’s good to take a beat before you respond.”
