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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Eoin Devlin

Experience: My football team lost 51-0

Eoin Devlin, the captain of a football team who lost 51-0, standing in football kit in a goal, with footballs behind him int he net
Eoin Devlin: ‘If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.’ Photograph: Murdo MacLeod/The Guardian

I started St Machar Thistle with my mates. We’d been playing seven-a-side in Aberdeen for a year when we thought about starting an 11-a-side team. I was always decent at football – I’d played at school and got back into it last year when I started university.

We began the application process to be part of the Scottish Amateur Cup last year, and made a good impression to the board. We even got sponsors. But most of us are university students and haven’t been able to commit. Sometimes we’ve had to postpone our Saturday matches as we didn’t have the minimum seven players required.

Since we joined the league, we’ve lost all our games. We’re still making a team and, as captain, I’m figuring it out a bit. The most stick we get from other teams is not for losing, it’s for not always having enough players to fulfil fixtures. Saturday matches mean everything to most folk in the league; it’s proper Aberdonians and locals who work all week for these games.

By the time we were up against AC Mill Inn in October last year, in the first round of the 11-a-side Scottish Amateur Cup, we expected a difficult game. We’d lost to them 19-0 the week before, when we started with only 10 men. That’s a big loss, but we weren’t disheartened – they are a good team.

The night before the match, I’d heard our goalkeeper wouldn’t be able to make it. I’m normally an outfield player, but I’d made a quiet agreement with Cammy, the manager, that I’d be in goal. We took a bus to a nice wee town about 30 minutes outside Aberdeen and arrived with 10 men.

It was about 2pm and the rain was pelting down. My team were soaked even before arriving at the ground. Playing in Scotland, we’re used to the bad weather but that was the strongest rain and wind we’d taken so far. The game went ahead only because AC Mill Inn play on an artificial pitch.

We were all suited, booted and ready to play. But 25 minutes before kick-off, the ref said two of our players weren’t eligible as they weren’t officially signed members of our club. Apparently trialists are only allowed to play league games; we didn’t know they couldn’t play a cup game.

I knew we had a tough task ahead. It was my first game back after an ankle injury, and I hadn’t put the goalie gloves on in a long time. I’d also forgotten my contact lenses, so I had to wear goggles over my glasses.

I made a few saves early on, which you wouldn’t have guessed by the score. By the second half we were down 26-0, so we thought, let’s just try to get a goal and raise morale. We played a high line, attacking high up the pitch, then after 10 more goals went back to focusing on defence.

I made one save with my right foot – the one that had been injured – so I was struggling to move. I ended up getting subbed off in the 60th minute. We were down to seven men, a 5-1 formation. It wasn’t great, but we thought, let’s just see this game out.

It felt as if goals were coming in so often; we didn’t have the numbers to retain the ball. I lost track of the score.

When the full-time whistle blew, I was on the sidelines with the gaffer. There the score was confirmed: 51-0. It was demoralising, but most of the AC Mill Inn team came over and were so supportive. They knew they’d played really well but probably felt quite sorry for us. We don’t blame them. It was bad for us, but they had a chance to do something special – they were going for a record of the biggest win in Scottish footballing history, and I think they cleared it by quite a margin. They consoled us, saying: “Keep going, lads, you’re gonna get so much better when you get your numbers in.”

We were glad to see it through. It was hard for some of the boys, but we’d done our best. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.

The eight who played that day saved the club, in a way. We obviously took a battering, but what’s followed has been unbelievable. Our manager got bombarded with messages as news of the scoreline spread, and for the next training we had 19 boys show up – we usually have less than half that.

We’d love to see the club grow from here, having the numbers and talented players. I hope the next time we play AC Mill Inn we’ll win, but ideally we’d just show a bit of standard.

• As told to Charis McGowan

Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com

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