I’m off for a lie down, in the meantime you can have a read of the official match report
Stephan Lewies and Alex Dombrandt jointly hoist the trophy high and as the music blasts out this most unlikely of Champions are howling with unconfined joy.
Exeter are receiving their losers medals, all looking understandably crestfallen.
Here’s Player of the Match, Joe Marler
“Two times premiership winner sounds better than a one time winner. I’ve taken in every single moment today, this is another level, I’m so grateful. This group has gotten stronger and stronger and our love for each other is massive. What happened at the end? Absolutely crazy!”
He’s not wrong.
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What a game to end this most curious of seasons. Both teams gave everything but who would begrudge Harlequins this story having lost their head coach mid-season and after that incredible semi-final vs Bristol.
A shuddering tackle in midfield dislodged the ball from Exeter, Marler snaffled it and one recycle later it was off the park and Harlequins erupt in joy!
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HARLEQUINS HAVE WON THE PREMIERSHIP!
80 mins. It’s all over!
TRY! Exeter 38 - 40 Harlequins (Stuart Hogg)
79 mins. Harlequins absolutely mangle the restart and allow Nowell to take it on the hoof. It’s worked inside and to Hogg running from deep.
Simmonds converts. It’s back to two points.
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TRY! Exeter 31 - 40 Harlequins (Louis Lynagh)
77 mins. It’s a clean win from the scrum for Care to use and Smith goes left to feed the ever willing Marchant. The Exeter defence is up to it, but the ball is recycled and worked all the way right and back inside before Green joins the line and fizzes a pass off his left hand to Lynagh.
The young winger takes a wonderful catch one handed at full stretch, gathers it an races into the right corner to score.
Smith converts. How important will that extra two be?
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75 mins. Yeandle spills it in his own half and Harlequins will have a scrum in a decent attacking position.
TRY! Exeter 31 - 33 Harlequins
73 mins. Quins come right in the Chiefs 22 and the momentum is nearly lost when Chisholm throws the ball behind Smith, but the diminuitive 10 regathers and goose-steps around his marker to feed Lewis Lynagh to score in the corner.
Smith converts from out wide AGAIN!
Man Alive!
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70 mins. James Chisholm wins a vital turnover penalty for Harlequins in midfield which allow Smith to put them back into the Exeter half.
68 mins. Tyrone Green takes another high ball but then spills in contact to give Exeter a scrum on halfway. Quins need to throw all they have at this scrum because the game is beginning to feel like it’s slipping away from them.
PENALTY! Exeter 31 - 26 Harlequins (Joe Simmonds)
66 mins. Exeter’s linout is imprecise for once, but Sam Simmonds tidies up at the tail before Quins are offside in defence. This time Joe Simmonds points at the posts and from bang in front he makes no mistake.
65 mins. A high tackle by Harlequins on the latest Exeter breach of the 22 gives the Chiefs a kickable penalty, but they spurn it for a lineout. You know what’s coming here.
62 mins. Exeter turn the ball over at the ruck and there’s some pushing and shoving involving Danny Care as tempers fray at the business end of the game and indeed the season.
Cowan-Dickie is thankfully up and awake and walking off under his own steam. But his replacement by Yeandle is confirmed.
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61 mins. Nowell is OK, but another Exeter player is down and it’s Luke Cowan-Dickie who got his head the wrong side in a low tackle and took a knee to the head. He looks out cold and that should be the end of his game.
Jack Yeandle is ready to come on.
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60 mins. The excellent Joe Marchant is away on the left hand side but the covering tackle from Nowell chops him down and into touch. Great defence from the Exeter man and he’s taken a knock so there’s a short break while the physios take a look.
58 mins. Harlequins have some territory for the first time for quite a few minutes but the Exeter counter-ruck in their own 22 is colossal to win a relieving penalty.
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Each time Exeter score the Twickenham tannoy blasts out that hideous caricature “Chop” song. It’s perhaps understandable the Exeter fans don’t want to let go of it, but the fact Premiership Rugby officially condone it is nothing short of a disgrace.
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TRY! Exeter 28 - 26 Harlequins (Olly Devoto)
54 mins. A tired looking midfield defence from Harlequins allows Joe Simmonds to dart though a gap and feed Devoto who runs in from 2o metres out.
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Subs have happened for Exeter:
Townsend for Maunder
Hogg for Cuthbert
Armand for Capstick
52 mins. It’s all Exeter again and a big looping pass finds Sam Simmonds on the left touchline but his pass back inside is snaffled by Joe Marchant five metres from his own line.
TRY! Exeter 21 - 26 Harlequins (Sam Simmonds)
49 mins. Harlequins do a very good job of stopping the initial Chiefs drive to the line, but when the ball is available again Sam Simmonds does the usual of nipping over from 5 metres.
Joe Simmonds converts.
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47 mins. There’s a long break as Baldwin has a bit of treatment. He’s up and OK and Exeter have a scrum on the Harlequins 22.
The Exeter pack put in a huge shove and win a penalty! That’s quite the turnaround from the first half and they have a chance to hit back from lineout.
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TRY! Exeter 14 - 26 Harlequins (Andre Esterhuizen)
45 mins. This a try of quite some magnificence.
It starts with Green stepping from his own 22 and went through seven pairs of hands, each one offloading to a support runner on a great angle. Eventually Marchant is hauled down on five metres, but the ball is recycled to Esterhuizen who runs into the corner.
Marcus Smith hammers a kick to equal the try over for way out left.
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42 mins. Nowell has a dart up the left but the Harlequins defence is up to the task. In back-play, Cuthbert is limping around holding his right hamstring.
Second half!
40 mins. Here we go...
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Excellent fortitude from Harlequins to come back from the pummelling Exeter dished out for most of that half. Their scrum in particular will be something they want to lean into heavily in this second period as each one of them saps both the strength and dignity of the Chiefs forwards.
The reigning champs need to get their hands back on the ball in the Quins half, because the challengers struggle mightily to deal with the vice-like pressure the Chiefs exert in the 22.
A fascinating last forty or so minutes of the season awaits.
Half Time! Exeter 14 - 19 Harlequins.
PEEP-PEEEEP! That finally brings a brilliant half of breathless rugby to a close.
TRY! Exeter 14 - 19 Harlequins (Alex Dombrandt)
40+5 mins. Care darts from the scrum with Exeter offside again, the ball comes out to the returned Smith, who pops inside to Dombrandt who walks in to score.
Smith makes no mistake with the extras.
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40+3 mins. From the lineout it comes to the left where Tyrone Green makes metres before feeding Lynagh on the inside. Exeter are offside and receive an official warning from Carley.
Quins take the scrum! We go again!
40+1 mins. Some disjointed action ends in a Harlequins scrum on halfway and the Quins pack get a drive on and concertina the Exeter scrum to win a penalty. They will have a lineout on the Chiefs 22.
TRY! Exeter 14 - 12 Harlequins (Wilco Louw)
38 mins. The ball is won in the scrum with a clean heel that Care uses to punch the runners up in midfield. Louw picks up from two metres who fights, pumps and wriggles his way over the line despite the attention of three Exeter defenders.
Marchant, on kicking duties with Smith off, hits the post with a pretty straightforward conversion. Poor miss, even for a non-regular kicker.
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34 mins. Symons wins it under illegal pressure in the air from Hill and Quins go again, this time via Chisholm from short. Exeter are offside but the advantage rumbles on as the Harlequins pack drive at the line, but to no avail.
The scrum option is taken from the penalty.
33 mins. Harlequins decide they aren’t going to die wondering as Lynagh takes great catch on a kick chase. The ball is fed all the way to the left touchline and win a penalty that will give them a lineout in the Exeter 22.
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YELLOW CARD! Marcus Smith (Harlequins)
31 mins. Marcus Smith has been binned for offside in build up to try, so this is likely to get a lot worse for Harlequins.
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TRY! Exeter 14 - 7 Harlequins (Alec Hepburn)
30 mins. The usual tap and go from short ends with the usual result for Exeter, this time it’s Hepburn forcing over from 2 metres.
Simmonds adds the two.
28 mins. Exeter are on the ball from the lineout and Matt Symons is perhaps the most offside person I’ve seen at a ruck in my entire life. That makes it approximately 1,329 offside offences on their own line for Quins and Carley tells them the next one is getting ten minutes.
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26 mins. Tyrone Green is lively in the outside right channel for Harlquins but his team-mates can’t clear out legally and once again Exeter snuff out a Quins attack in a promising position. This is compounded when Devoto pings a bouncing kick behind Lynagh who can’t stop himself putting a foot in touch, five metres from his own line
23 mins. A penalty on halfway as Exeter concede a penalty for collapsing the scrum. Alec Hepburn is not happy, “well, you’d better get your bind up, Alec” is Ref Carley’s response on the mic. Outstanding.
Harlequins completely mangle their lineout in the Chiefs 22 and the pressure is off the Exeter defence.
That was a bruising 15 minutes for Harlequins; an attacking smothering that squeezed the breath and strength from their defensive reserves. They must get some territory and soon.
TRY! Exeter 7 - 7 Harlequins (Johnny Gray)
18 mins. Exeter tap and go from five metres and Harlequins are offside once again, but no matter as Johnny Gray makes the final inches to score.
Joe Simmonds slots the conversion
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16 mins. Harlequins have done nothing but defend since Jonny Hill went off and they now have an Exeter lineout in their 22 to take on. It’s the LOndon team’s turn to pull down a maul this time and on the advantage the ball is sent to Cuthbert on the right then worked back infield.
It finally splutters to an end, but there are two advantages running by the end of it as desperate Quin defence is offside.
Hill rejoins the action.
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13 mins. A Chiefs attack breaks down with the ball nearly being nicked by Marcus Smith but Sam Simmonds tidies it and breaks into space. He turns on the trademark gas but Lynagh does just enough knock him off his stride and put a couple of steps in touch.
11 mins. It’s all hands from their own 22 from Exeter that finds O’Flaherty out left who steps Lynagh and bursts forward into the Harlequins half. The ball is spilled forward from a Harlequin hand.
It’s breathless stuff so far.
9 mins. Exeter, playing with fourteen men, manage it very well by keeping possession Quins territory before Alex Cuthbert is a little isolated and allows Esterhuizen to clamp on and win a relieving penalty for Quins
PENALTY TRY! Exeter 0 - 7 Harlequins
5 mins. It’s front ball in the lineout from Quins and the maul is set up very quickly to drive up from five metres. Lots of Exeter forwards are in the maul the wrong side to pull it down and Ref Carley wastes no time in giving a penalty try and wields a yellow card at Jonny Hill!
Big call from Smith to go to the corner, but my word it’s paid off.
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4 mins. Exeter go wide around halfway but a forced pass from Joe Simmonds drops short of O’Flaherty then bounces into touch.
Quins go from the lineout and have a penalty midway into the Exeter half which Marcus Smith sends into the corner!
2 mins. Joe Simmonds wastes no time clearing the Exeter lines and Quins fullback Tyrone Green gets his hands on the ball early to set up a little attack before a forward pass brings the first scrum of the match.
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Kick Off!
1 min. Exeter claim the kick off via a big Jonny Hill leap
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Of course, the downside of the crowd is that you can hear Exeter fans singing their hideous caricature “Tomahawk Chop” song that the rest of the sporting world has decided to not bother with any more for many very good reasons
There’s 10,000 people in Twickenham today, many believed it should be more given Wimbledon is allowed full capacity and there’ll be 60k plus at Wembley next week. But, 10k is better than 0k and the players head out to plenty of noise.
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“This could be the only opportunity Quins (or anyone else for that matter) get to win some silverware for the next 10 years or so,” says Mark P, “seeing as the Saracens borg will be joining the Exeter borg next season. Divide & conquer.”
The future of English rugby union: a boot stamping on a human face in perpetuity
While you wait for kick-off you can have a read about Lions selection and record try scorer Sam Simmonds.
Our man Rob Kitson considers the Exeter Number 8’s contribution here.
Teams
Scotland captain and nailed-on Lions starter Stuart Hogg is remains on the bench for Exeter as Baxter keeps faith with the XV that won the semi including retaining Jack Nowell at fullback.
For Harlequins, centre Andre Esterhuizen returns from suspension to line up alongside Joe Marchant.
Exeter: Jack Nowell; Alex Cuthbert, Henry Slade, Ollie Devoto, Tom O’Flaherty; Joe Simmonds (capt), Jack Maunder; Alec Hepburn, Luke Cowan-Dickie, Harry Williams, Jonny Gray, Jonny Hill, Jannes Kirsten, Richard Capstick, Sam Simmonds.
Replacements: 16 Jack Yeandle, 17 Ben Moon, 18 Marcus Street, 19 Sean Lonsdale, 20 Don Armand, 21 Stu Townsend, 22 Harvey Skinner, 23 Stuart Hogg.
Harlequins: Tyrone Green; Louis Lynagh, Joe Marchant, Andre Esterhuizen, Caden Murley; Marcus Smith, Danny Care; Joe Marler, Scott Baldwin, Wilco Louw, Matt Symons, Stephen Lewies (capt), James Chisholm, Jack Kenningham, Alex Dombrandt.
Replacements: 16 Joe Gray, 17 Santiago Garcia Botta, 18 Will Collier, 19 Dino Lamb, 20 Tom Lawday, 21 Martin Landajo, 22 Ben Tapuai, 23 Luke Northmore.
Preamble
The final Saturday of the Premiership season is here and we bring you live coverage of Exeter vs Harlequins.
Let’s cut to the chase shall we? Exeter are everyone’s favourites to add a third Premiership trophy to their cabinet at Sandy Park. However, of all the teams in the league, it’s Harlequins that tend to give the putative winners the most trouble. Of the last six outings between the two, five have been decided by a single score and it took a late try by Dave Ewers to give Exeter a one-point win in their most recent tussle.
Quins have built quite a season after the unpromising start of the ousting of head coach, Paul Gustard, with the brains trust of Billy Millard, Jerry Flannery and Adam Jones putting together an exciting team that can ball with the best of them, as the ludicrous semi-final win over Bristol showed. If it gets loose, look out.
But, unless it’s their approach to Covid vaccines or understanding citing processes, getting loose is not something Rob Baxter’s Exeter usually allow. Expect a powerful start with an unassailable early accumulation of points to be the order of the day.
